Photoshoot Love
by kimsooyeon123
Summary: credit to the owner at aff
1. Chapter 1

"Wake up girl for God sake"

I opened my eyes to see the tanned girl putting the curtain aside letting the sun light shine on my bed "5 more minutes" I said covering my head with the soft blanket.

"NOW" she yelled pulling the blanket away

I rubbed my eyes then looked at her "Look honey, it's not like I have something to do, so let me sleep more"

"Actually" she held my hand to pull me up "You have"

"I don't" I cried

"Well you do... Giorgio Armani..."

"Giorgio Armani" I sat up looking at her

She sat in front of me on my bed "Yes Giorgio Armani they want you to be the model for their new perfume"

I widened my eyes "What!?"

"I'm not joking" the tanned girl said

"No" I stood out of my bed "No, I'm not going to, I'm still on hiatus"

She stood after me so fast "You've been on that hiatus for forever"

Pfft forever she said ha. I looked at her "5 years only not forever. Don't be over dramatic" I throw my body on the bed again

"5 years for God sake doing nothing but wasting your money and your beauty" she sounds so serious

I put my hands under my face "So you think I'm beautiful after all"

She gave me a serious look "Tiffany I'm not kidding. I rejected all the offers that came to you because you said you wanted to take a break" she pointed her index finger at me, as if she's saying listen carefully, Then she said "I'm not rejecting this. Get your ass up and fix yourself; we have meeting at 5." She said leaving the room

"What should I fix in myself?" I said to my self then looked at my body "I still look hot as fuck. I don't know what's wrong with that tanned banana"

Talking about her, her name is Yuri and she's my manager. She lives with me. She was my best friend and then when I became model, she became my manger. That's all.

We dressed and now Yuri is driving.

When we arrived; everyone one was waiting for me. They started greeting me and shaking my hand saying 'It's nice to see me again, and that it's been along time, they missed me'.

Well at least I'm still popular, that will help.

I walked with the guy who was leading me and Yuri to the meeting room.

"It's an honor to have you here miss Tiffany" the guy who was waiting for us in the room said the moment I entered. He pulled a chair for me to sit. "I can't believe we have you here, my mind is like boom" he excitedly said sitting in front of me. "I'm a big fan of yours, actually everyone in my staff is a fan. When they gave me the opportunity to choose a model, you were the first person I thought of, and everyone agreed without thinking twice" he said

"It's an honor for me to know that. Actually The second I heard it's Giorgio Armani I said yes without even hesitating. I'm fan of yours too" I said, and Yuri hit me under the table.

"So shall we start?" He said

I smiled "we shall"

He interlocked his hands, putting them on the table "So Giorgio Armani is making new women's fragrance called 'Puro' which means Pure— The photographer came up with a concept that he called it "Innocent scene""

"Innocent scene, it sounds nice to me" I nodded listening to him

He smiled, a don't get fooled smile "But it's not innocent" he awkwardly giggled "Since the perfume called Puro, the photographer came up with that concept. The innocence of the human desire, the innocent passion that comes from two people in love. The desire, lust and passion all become pure when there's love between them" he said describing it passionately "So what do you think?"

"I actually loved the concept" Yuri looked at me "What do you think Tiffany?"

"This is going to be the first time for me to do this type of concepts" I said looking at him then Yuri. I'm not really sure about this.

"Look I understand that it will be a big step for you. Especially, after your long hiatus, but believe me you will rock it." He said "We've been looking you up, ever since the idea of the perfume came up"

I laughed "Well that's so creepy"

"Creepy, but believe me you're the only one that had all the qualifications we wanted" he said

I looked him still unsure

"Look heres the contract, you can take it and look through it. Have all the time you need. Also think about it as much as you need. We want you so bad, but you deserve to have the time to think about" he put the contract in front of me. Yuri took it.

We heard knocking on the door, then a man wearing blue jeans and white shirt entered. He put the phone on the table "Mr. Armani" he said then went out.

The guy in front of us took the phone and stood up then answered with "Yes sir," He nodded couple of times before putting the phone down. He looked at us "There are some changes" he said

And the idea of they don't want me anymore wandered inside my mind. After all I've been gone for so long.

He sat on the chair again putting his hand on his forehead then looked us up "Another model will be with you"

"Another model? I thought it was just Tiffany" Yuri asked

"It's the model Mr. Armani chose" he put his hand on his chin "I don't know why he do this to me. I just don't understand what he's up to but he said that both of you will do an amazing job."

I stood up "Okay, I will think it over and I'll give you answer as soon as possible"

He stood up with me "I hope this won't effect your decision. Please keep it in your mind, please do" he desperately said lifting his hand up

I shook it "I will definitely"

He went to open the door for us "Thank you so much, hope we will see you soon" he said. I nodded then walked out with Yuri

"What? another model!? Why? Am I not enough?" I said entering the car

"You don't know what they're thinking about" Yuri turned the car on

"I don't care what the hell they are thinking about. I'm gonna sign this paper and I want you to give it to them tomorrow. Also, I want you to find me a good gym, I must start working out more. I have no idea what that chick have and how the hell she looks like for her to be chosen by Armani himself"

"Woh woh woh that's the Tiffany I know" Yuri eyed me surprised "So competitive"

I yelled "Yuri" entering the tanned girl room. "Come on wake up, it's gym day" I said jumping in my place

Yuri pushed her blanket down and looked at me with her eyes half open "Gym day?"

I sat down stretching my body "Yes it's the first day in the gym, come on we will be late"

"Well see honey you have to work your ass to make your body hot again but I don't. So go alone"

I stood up "You sure?" this is the first time for her to tell me to go out of the house alone!

"Yeah go I have to sleep more" she said covering her head again "Just come back soon"

"Okay okay" I ran out before she changes her mind.

I entered the gym and surprisingly a lot of people, I mean famous people were there and they all acknowledge me. They know me. People still know me, even the new generation.

"OH MY GOD, IS THAT TIFFANY HWANG?"

"So the rumor about you coming back is true"

Oh God how I hate yet somehow I miss this voice "Well, well is it a nature rule for us to be in the same place every time I walk on this earth?" I turned to look at my 'used to be' biggest enemy.

She stood in front of me then opened her arms "Tiffany" she called my name.

I opened my arms for her back "Momo"

"You disappeared all of a sudden with no word, no sign, no nothing and nobody had any idea where the hell you went. Why you didn't call me."

"The last time I saw you, you said you'll destroy my life and kill me" I walked my way to my couch who was standing in front of the walking machine. Momo walked beside me.

"You know I was joking, right? I didn't really mean it. I'm not the reason you disappeared right?"

I chuckled "No, no it's not you"

"I'm so glad to see you again" my couch hugged me so tight "I have to keep it professional but my God I miss you so much"

I rubbed his back "I miss you too, Jo"

He held it back then said "Momo why don't you take Tiffany to the stretching floor" he put his hand on my shoulder "And I'll meet you after twenty minutes, okay?" I nodded "Good because we have a lot to catch up while training"

I walked with Momo to the stretching area

"So is it true that you're the new model for Giorgio Armani?"

I looked up to her (she's taller than me) "Yeah it is true... Please don't start planning on how you're going to destroy it or take it away from me"

She laughed loud "No, no I won't, I will let you have this one" she said "But just this one since it's the first in a very long time"

After training with Jo for two hours he asked me for coffee and I said yes

"You know I'm really disappointed" we walked linking arms besides each other.

"I know I'm so sorry" he's same height as me, with brown very silky hair. Outside the gym he wears casual suit. Dark blue skinny jeans and a light pink shirt with his slaves rolled up to his elbow. And a dark blue tie.

"You know we were so close, for God sake we were best, best, best friends, but you threw that away and disappeared without even saying a word, without even calling as if the friendship between us ment nothing to you at all. I miss you but I'm so mad that I feel like kicking your face. I spent every second of everyday holding my phone waiting, oh Tiffany will call now, Tiffany will call soon, but do you know what I got nothing. I bet I asked everyone every person in this country about you" I saw his tears falling down

"Jo please don't cry" I stood in front of him

"It's just I felt like I was worthless, like I was nothing to you. And I went through a lot of things bad and happy especially good things and every time I was happy, I wanted to go and tell you about it but then I remember you're not there. I felt lost because my best friend is not besides me" he wiped his tears

"I'm sorry Jo you know that I love you and you will never be worthless. You mean the world to me, it's just...you know...what happened is...Its just hard ugh" it will forever be hard for me.

He looked at me "You know" he put his hand on my shoulder "I forgive you." He smiled "If it wasn't hard you would've told me."

I held his hand "It was so hard and it took me all this time to get over it"

"I understand, one day you will tell me, I believe in that" he pulled me close and hugged me "Just don't you ever think of leaving like this ever again"

"Never again"

He opened the café door for me "Now let's get in because I have an amazing news to tell you"

We walked upstairs and sat on the table beside the window, the café was empty and quiet. We ordered coffee. Then I turned to look down outside at the people walking and car passing by. Jo looked at me "So guess what" he said, then moved his hand to my hand that was on edge of the table then held it

I lift my gaze to look at him "What?"

He only smiled, then tapped his fingers on my hand. I looked down and saw a very beautiful ring on his ring finger. My eyes went wide uncontrollably "Oh God!" I held his hand up to my face

Excitedly he said "I'm engaged now" he tighten his grip on my hand

I felt overwhelmed "Oh my God my baby boy is engaged now" I felt the cry coming "Who's the lucky one?"

"Well," he put his hands on his cheeks "His name is kurt"

No way "Kurt lavar? The model?"

He smiled "Yes, the Kurt lavar"

"How in the name of God did you get him"

"You see, I was invited to VS's after party and models were everywhere, Momo was there too, so she introduced me to Kurt lavar who was invited there as a guest too. So we had a very long talk and we just clicked like that and then here we are engaged"

"Wow, I must meet him" I held his hand "Jo I'm so proud of you. I promise I'll be there next to you in your wedding, I swear"

"I know you will and you will also be my maid of honor" he smiled happily

I nodded "definitely"

"There's this model I actually thought he was dating her" he said

I looked at him surprised "which model"

"I have no idea who she is but they are always together like 24/7 wherever Kurt is she's there. I bet she's trying to gain fam from him and he have a sweet heart so he's helping her"

I nodded "Yeah a lot of people do that, they take the opportunity to use a nice person for their own benefits, I hate this type of people"

"Yeah so I feel like I'm in a competition, now I have to keep up with her"

"No honey, no you don't have to compet. Did you see yourself you're fire. She will have to work her ass to keep it up. And you should remember that he's going to marry you not her, so no worries"

He took a sip of his coffee "Okay fine" he put the cup down "Now enough of me, what about you I heard you are the new model for Giorgio Armani"

I held my cup of coffee, it was kind of cold "Yeah its true, I was so happy about it. When Yuri told me that Giorgio Armani asked me to be their new model. When i saw the concept I thought wow that could be like a whole new comeback for Tiffany Hwang"

Jo stopped me "Was?" He asked

I moved my coffee a side, I hate it when it's cold "Yeah was because apparently there's going to be another model with me when it was supposed to be only me. What pisses me off more is that Mr. Armani himself chose her"

"Wait what? No, no really they did that?"

"Yeah, now I feel like it's a competition and I have to win it so bad. Like how can Tiffany Hwang lose in front of a new rookie? No this can't happen"

Jo held my hand and smiled "Hey, you will do amazing, she will look nothing beside you"

"She better look like nothing" I giggled "Anyway I have to go now or Yuri will kill me" I stood up to wear my jacket

Jo stood up with me "Oh it's been a while since I saw that girl, say hi for me" he walked to my side of the table and hugged me

"I sure will" I hugged him back then walked out of the café to my car.


	2. Chapter 2

"It's the photoshoot day, are you ready" Yuri parked the car aside

"No, no I'm everything but ready"

She looked at me "look everything is going to be okay, you will do amazing." She held my hand "Remember you're Tiffany Hwang"

I nodded "Yes I am"

She smiled at me "Now get your ass out and slay" she walked out of the car.

"By the way why are we here early, like way early" I asked opening the car door then followed her

"They said they want to talk first so we better get going fast"

Yuri opened the door for me and I walked in the building. I was so nervous, way nervous to be able to hide it.

"Hello Ms. Tiffany,"

I looked at the girl in the blue dress "Hi"

"Please take a seat and they will be with you in a minute"

"Sure" I sat on the brown sofa in front of her desk "They are making us wait as if I'm not nervous enough"

After sitting quietly for a minute or something I saw the man who talked to us couple of weeks ago. I think I read on the paper his name is William or something. He smiled at me but then walked to the girl who was standing with three men and a woman in front of her.

I looked at her from head to toe, she had a very, very skinny legs and arms, but they are perfect with her body because she isn't that tall, she is short but not too short. She has a blonde hair that's falling on her back perfectly like it is a painting.

"Calling me an hour before the actually meeting then making me wait double the time for you is totally unacceptable" she said calmly looking at William with her hands locked behind her back, and her back straightened up like she was raised in castle as a royalty.

"I'm sorry, they had some problems with the set; I had to go and check them myself." William apologized

"I hope you are because I had to cancel a very important meeting with Nina Ricci for this. And believe me I have very more important places to be than here" she said looking at him

"We are going now," the lady in blue cut my attention from that girl

I looked at her surprised "Where?"

She smiled "We are going to the photoshoot set, we have to start earlier"

"Ah right yeah sure" I stood up to walk with her.

William came to me and smiled "Should we go?"

I nodded "We shall"

The girl was walking in front of me but a bit far and this time she was alone. She opened the door but kept holding it. She glanced back over her shoulder, the way you do when you know someone's watching so I immediately looked away. She kept holding the door till I walked out then she let it go. She side eyed me then walked to the right side while I continued walking straight to the car.

They took me first to do my makeup and of cours Yuri came with me. I entered the makeup room and the makeup artist was standing in front of a dark blue chair waiting for me. She smiled widely when she saw me and I smiled back as wide as her smile was.

"Oh my God I can't believe I'm going to do your makeup." She fangirled then looked at the big mirror in front the her "I'm going to do the makeup for Tiffany Hwang can you believe it" she said to herself then looked at me

I giggled then walked to her "And I honestly can't believe you're going to do my makeup"

She looked at me blankly "Huh?"

"I know you, you are Lucy the makeup artist, I saw your work all over the magazines"

She put her hand on her mouth "Oh my God she knows me"

William walked in "It's not the time for you to fangirl, it's time for you to do her makeup, we don't have time to waste come on"

I sat on the chair for her to do my makeup. I was so nervous "It feels like the first time" I told Yuri who was reading a book at the back.

She glanced above the book at me "I know right, it feels the same for me. Like I'm being your manager for the first time. I'm as nervous as you or maybe a little bit but so so nervous"

The other makeup artist entered the room "Oh God" she said then walked to the bag on the chair beside us "Finished?" Lucy asked her

The other makeup artist shook her head "No, but my God she is so beautiful it's so painful looking at her for too long. I had to stop from time to time so I won't die of her beauty"

"Making it worst" I whispered "Now I'm even more nervous" I sighed and Lucy noticed me

"Well to me I don't see anyone more beautiful than Tiffany Hwang" she said grinning

"Oh yes I waited the whole day to see you" she walked to me "Finally I met you" she shook my hand and I smiled at her

After Lucy finished my makeup I went to the dressing room "Okay the other model is ready it's your turn now" she held my hand and walked me in "My name is Alexandra but you can call me Alex"

"I'm Tiffany"

She looked at me and smiled "I know who you're, everyone here knows who you're"

She walked me to the closet "Now take off your clothes" she put her hands on her wist looking at me. I blushed "Come on we don't have time"

"You are not going to give me the clothes and I'll go wear them" I said

"Yes, yes but I have to see you first" she crossed her arms "Come on"

I took my shirt off, and then my pants "Your underwears are nice but no" she said rubbing her chin "Your size is amazing, thanks God" she walked to the right side of the closet and came back with a bordo colored lingerie with garter belt . "Wear this" she gave it to me

"This?" I said looking at it, this is way too sexy for life

She turned me towards the changing room "Yes this go go, come on" she pushed me in and closed the door

I wore it then walked out, I give her my back "Can you help me with the bra it's too tight"

"Doesn't matter you will take it off any way, turn let me see how you look"

I turned to look at her "Sorry what?"

"What what?" She looked at me from head to toe "You will take the bra off anyway so no need to fix it"

"Why would I take it" I was confused

"Because the concept is like that" she held my waist and looked at the both sides of my hips "Okay looks amazing, you look magnificent. You're ready to go" she walked to the chair and gave me a white robe to wear

"I'm sorry no, no"

She looked at me confused "No what?"

"Nobody told me I'm going to be naked"

She giggled "You won't be naked not really, don't worry they will probably make you cover them with your hands or something, your nipples are going to be safe. Women your nipples are safe" she pushed me out of the room "Now go there's no time, William will kill me"

I saw Yuri waiting for me "Yuri" I ran to her "I can't do it"

She held my shoulders "You can do it just relax"

"NO THEY WANT ME TO BE NAKED" I opened my robe and showed her what I'm wearing

Yuri put my robe back "So what Tiffany, you look hella good and girl it was written in the contract you didn't read it before you sign it?"

I yelled "Yuri naked! And no i didn't"

"Not really naked, you will only take your bra off you can keep the rest" William walked to us

"What rest my pantie?" I asked annoyed. He nodded

Yuri held my hand "Look Tiffany honey you will slay it. You said you want to do something new; that's something new, you've never done it before"

William tapped on my shoulder "I'll give you a minute" he walked to the set

Yuri nodded then looked at me again "I saw the other model"

I got more nervous "You did?"

"Yeah, she's there waiting" Yuri ran her fingers through my hair

I freaked "How does she look like?"

"She's the girl with blonde hair we saw early today, but believe me she got nothing on you, you are more beautiful"

"Oh my God" I freaked even more.

This can't be, this is not happening I don't feel comfortable at all. It feels like I'm being pulled out of my comfortable zone

"WHERE IS TIFFANY HWANG, WE NEED HER IN THE SET RIGHT NOW" we heard someone yelling

Yuri grabbed my hand "Come on" she walked me to where William and the photographer were waiting for me.

I walked between all the people who were helping by holding the photographer kit and fixing the room lighting, some where doing the wallpapers and some were managing what ever there was in the set. I stood beside William "This is the other model?" I asked him with my jaw dropped. Yuri lied she's so beautiful, way beautiful than the way she looked early today. I can see her whole face under the lights; that are pointed directly on her. With the golden rosé wallpaper behind her making her shine even more. Her blonde hair falling down covering her naked body no her chest. She's so white, milky white. She's wearing a white pants while sitting on the rounded chair that have no back. Her right hand palm above her left hand between her thighs. She was leaning to the front while shaking her legs none stop. Her lips are so red, she looks cold; someone should cover her. She literally looks like strawberry milkshake. The hell I'm talking about?

"Yeah, she's is" he answered me. I looked at him. Did he read my mind? He looked at me "Yeah she's the other model" even he was astonished by her

She sighed "I'm sorry, am I going to wait for another two hours?" She looked at the girl who's standing on the left of the room. She seems like her manage. "Can you get me my phone because it seems like I'm going to wait for damn ever"

The photographer let the camera he was fixing down then looked at everyone behind him "Where's Tiffany H-" his eyes met mine "Oh she's her, she's her" he told the model then held his camera again. He walked to me "Hi, I'm Jay the photographer as you can see" he smiled showing me his camera

I lift my hand to shake his "I'm Tiffany H..."

"Hwang, who doesn't know you" He held my hand smiling wildly "I'm so happy to work with you"

"Me too" I smiled

He walked back to his place and the stylist came to me, she opened the rob and took it off "Please take your bra off" she said

I was scared and nervous but every one was waiting for me and I have to stand and show that Tiffany Hwang is still in the game and she's professional as hell. I moved my hand to the back and opened my bra then took it off slowly and covered my breasts with my right arm so fast.

Yuri put her hands on my shoulders "You can do it" I nodded

"Go there please" the photographer said looking at me amazed.

"She's stunning" I heard some of them saying and it made me blush. The way everyone was looking at me made me even more nervous. I walked to the other model, and she was looking at me from head to toe. She sighed then looked away. She looks annoyed and angery. I should stop caring what she look like my God. I turned to look at the photographer

He looked at us "Oh wow, it feels like I'm taking pictures of goddesses, wow" he said "People write this moment and date down because this is going to be in the history" he yelled holding his camera up. I giggled and mistakenly looked at the girl on my left. Her face was straightened with no smile, her chin up, looking at the photographer with an annoyed expression.

"Ahem, any song suggestions before we start?" He asked

"I'm fine with anything" I said

"How bad do you want it by Sevyn Streeter" the blonde girl said then side eyed me

The hell... is she mocking me or something? Oh my God I feel like kicking that hella damn good looking face of hers. Ughhhh what's wrong with her? If she is really not interested then what is she doing here for God's sake? Tsk

"Is everything okay Ms. Hwang?" The photographer asked

I moved my gaze from her to him "Yeah, yeah everything is okay and please call me just Tiffany"

"Sure" he said happy "Okay we shall start"


	3. Chapter 3

One of the staff came and put the light exposure meter in front of my face to measure the amount of light falling on us.

"Ms. Kim I want you to open your legs a bit more, and you Tiffany I want you to give us your back then stand in front of Ms. Kim and put her right leg between yours" he stated and the blonde girl did what he said. I stood in front of her and opened my legs a bit to make hers between mine. Her face is literally in front of my right thigh. And I can feel her silky hair on me leg.

"Ms. Kim stay the way you are but Tiffany I want you to move closer"

I did what he told me, I moved closer to her; I thought the chair was a bit far but it wasn't so my knee hit the chair hard, I was about to fall but then I felt a soft hand on my left thigh and on the knee I hit. I put my right hand on her shoulder to hold myself. I moved my hair away and looked down at her to say thank you but she was looking at me and she was so close, too close.

"WAIT" the photographer yelled, I was about to look at him "DON'T MOVE" he yelled again "Don't move stay the way you're" I heard his camera clicking so fast, like he's taking seven to ten pictures per second. I looked at her again and she was looking at me without expression and without moving.

"Okay that's good super good," he put his camera down looking at the pictures "That was amazingly unexpected"

She took her hands away then shifted in her seat. She fixed her hair to make sure her chest is still covered. I stood up right and suddenly I remembered that I moved my arm and my chest is no longer covered. I fast moved my arm to cover them. Oh my God she saw my boobs she definitely saw them. I was so naked in front of her oh my god.

"Are you okay Tiffany?" Yuri came to me. I nodded to her yes but noooo I'm not okay.

"Okay Tiffany I want you to just sit down on Ms. Kim's leg between yours and put your right hand around her neck and held the back of her head" I sat on her leg and now my face is beside hers. I moved my hand to her and held the back of her neck. "Ms. Kim please put your right arm around Tiffany's waist and held her right thigh with your left hand," I felt her cold arm wrap around my waist and her hand crawl to my thigh. My body stiffened and constricted agains hers

"Ease up" she whispered, still looking at the photographer who was talking pictures of ever slight move we make.

"Tiffany move closer please and I want you to look back over your shoulder" I couldn't move my body it was frozen under her hands spell. She drew her hand down and pulled me closer to her. I had to look over my shoulder so fast or our faces would've touched. I can feel her breath against my neck. The camera clicking became faster and so my heart beats. Uncontrollably I slightly gasped. Suddenly I no longer can feel her touch, her hands were there but not touching me like there are inches between them and my body. She heard me?

I felt her head moving up to my ear "You don't have to worry, I have nothing for straight girls'" she whispered and my body urgently stood up. She rose her eyebrow looking at me, with her arms still in the same position but this time she's holding the air.

The photographer looked at me "Is everything alright?" but I could still hear his camera clicking he was still taking pictures.

I wanted to look away, but couldn't. She held me somehow, like there's some kind of spellbound in her eyes. You know that hypnotic vibe all gay people have...yeah

Yuri walked to me "Something is wrong?"

"Yeah, I can't do this" I finally turned to look at Yuri

"Sorry Jay can we take a break?" Yuri asked and Jay nodded "Yeah ofc" he put his camera down. She took me aside "What's wrong?"

"I just don't feel good" I was literally having panic attack, my stomach was suffering major eruptions.

"Okay I had enough" the blonde girl stood up. Me and Yuri turned to look at her, "I honestly didn't know I was going to work with a very spoiled homophobic who will take 4 hours to get ready and 20 to do her job" she extended her hand, palm up to take her shirt from the girl beside her. She glanced my way before wearing her shirt. Involuntarily I clenched my fists; I felt indignantly and like I just want to kick her face.

"Call me when you organize your shit together. Actually it would be better if you don't call me ever. Will see who needs whom" she took her jacket then walked passed Jay. "And I think I said before I don't work with homophobics" she said then walked out of the set

My stomach lurched, I feel so angry "Yuri give me the car key please" she looked confusedly at me but then she quietly gave me the key. I changed then walked out from the back door to the parking garage. I sat inside the car feeling literally like shit. That's my first since a very long time and she just turned it to hell. Who needs whom? Seriously? If she doesn't need this then why the hell did she accepted it? There are like billion of girls' who are dying to be in her place and I'm the first one. She was chosen by Giorgio Armani himself. She should at least be a little bit thankful and appreciate what she got.

I put the key in turning the car on. Honestly I should just clear my mind up then come back. I turned the heater on and then I googled the song How bad do you want it by Sevyn Streeter just because I'm so curious. I drove to the corner where the exit is, then I stopped the car to look left and right side before turning the steering wheel to the left and hitting the gas pedal and drive out. I had no distention I was just going with the flow. I stopped on the red light while tapping on the dashboard; the song is actually pretty good. I looked to my right and saw the blonde model paused under a tree on the side walk; I think she's talking on the phone or something. She suddenly hit the tree with her feet then turned to face the street. She put her hands inside her black thin jacket that I bet is keeping her warm. It's so cold today I can see the white clouds coming out of her mouth when she sigh.

The lights turned green and I drove the car a bit then parked aside. I looked at her from the rear-view mirror; she drew her hand into her hair and ruffled it. She does that a lot I see. The blonde girl put her hand back inside her jacket then started jumping slightly in her place; I bet she's cold. The music was loud and it was distracting me so I turned it down a bit. Then when I looked up on the mirror she wasn't there.

I heard a slight knocking on the window beside me, I looked up and it was her. She did the roll the window down motion with her index finger. I opened the widow and she leaned over, putting her arms on the door.

She kept looking at me for fraction of a second before saying "I don't like being followed" she said then straightened her body up.

"I wasn't" I said without showing any weakness, I was trying to be as damn confidente as her.

She only answered with "Sure" she turned to walk away

"My intention was to ask you if you want me to give you a ride because it's so cold out side" I said trying to act honest.

She turned and rose her eyebrow to me. "Sure" she said then walked to the passenger seat. Without saying a word she put what I think is her house location on the car GPS. When she saw the song name; she looked up at me.

I cleared my throat "I was just curious" I said then drove were the blue line on the GPS is leading me.

She sat quiet without talking, and I kept my gaze away from her. The song ended along time and nothing came after it. We both or maybe just me was getting comfortable with the silence between us. The car was warm but it was snowing lightly. The girl who I don't know what's her name started tapping her index finger rhythmically on the car door while humming. I couldn't keep my gaze away from her so I looked. Her head resting on the window while gazing outside. I tried to make sense of what song she was humming but came out with nothing. Her humming was so smooth and her voice is sweet, steady and very calm. I slowed the car pace so I can look at her without crushing and killing both of us.

Her humming suddenly made sense when she opened her mouth and faintly said "Oh, love, no one's ever gonna hurt you, love I'm gonna give you all of my love. Nobody matters like you" she was singing! I was barley able to hear the words her lips were saying "She tells him, 'Your life ain't gonna be nothing like my life. You're gonna grow and have a good life. I'm gonna do what I've got to do" synchronously she tapped her right feet on the car floor with her finger. I was fascinated by her, and her song mumbling. She was so peaceful and not a bitch like she was in the photoshoot. Here, right now she was different. "So, rockabye baby, rockabye I'm gonna rock you. Rockabye baby, don't you cry somebody's got you—" shesuddenly stopped and looked at me and I was caught. I felt fire inside me and my body hair stood. I got chills down my spine. She rose her brow "Road in front of you" she said then crossed her right leg on the other one. Does anyone sit like this in a car?! "You messed the turn" she said pointing her thumb to the right. I looked at the GPS and I did! The actually fuck is wrong with her she could've told me now I have to go back. I take her being peacefully back she's still a bitch.

She looked outside again "I'm Kim Taeyeon" she uttered

I didn't look at her this time, I kept my eyes on the road "I'm—"

"I know" she tapped her finger on the door again but this time it was randomly and I again wasn't able to control myself so I looked at her. So she does know me at the end. She pointed to the left "That turn" she said

I won't look at her again promise. Tiffany keep your eyes straight. "So umm... You've been in this industry for how many years?" I asked turning the car to the left

"Enough to know who you are" she answered that and only that. The hell that supposed to mean.

-You arrived to your destination- the GPS woman cut me when I was about to ask another question. "Here?" I looked around and it was a very fancy neighborhood. There's only three or something houses around. I stopped the car in front of a modern mansion with black gate can take in a family of giraffes and with touch of dark brown woods taking over some of the white walls. The only thing I can see from my point of view is the the huge glass balcony that's popping up out of the mansion. I bet you can see the whole city from there. The rest was hidden behind the house walls.

"Yeah here" she said taking the seat belt off.

The words came out of my mouth uncontrollably "You live here in this house and you don't own a car? What did you spend your whole money on this mansion?" After saying that I felt for a second she will blast with anger in my face but all she did was smile

She took her phone out of her pocket then looked at me "They say don't judge a book by its cover, right" she said and the sides of her lips lifted up giving me a slight smile "Thank you for the ride" She was about to open the car door but I held her arm stopping her. She turned and looked at me surprised, her eyes went down to my arm then up to my face. I pulled my hand away and said "But you judged me by my book cover" yes you did.

She rose her brow listening to me. I crossed my arms trying to pull myself from her intimidating eyes "You said I'm a homophobic while I'm not, you literally judged me without even knowing me" she smiled again but this time it's like she's making fun of me "I'm really not" I felt anger rising inside me "I have a gay friend who's getting married to a great guy and I support them and accept them, oh hell I'm even going to be his maid of honour, so don't tell me I'm homophobic because I'm not" I have no idea why I told her about Jo but I felt like I need to defend myself.

She nodded but that smug smile still taking over her face "Same excuse different heterosexual" Anger rose to the highest level in me before I could realize that I'm carving my fingernails into the palms of my hands. She reached my shoulder "Again thank you for the ride" and just like that she walked out out of the car leaving me angry as damn hell.


	4. Chapter 4

Yuri entered the car "They put another date for the photo shoot. They said it's okay" she put the seat belt then looked at me "Can you tell me what happened?" She asked

"Nothing really I just felt sick all of a sudden" I said driving

She side-eyed me "Sick? All of a sudden? Sure whatever you feel like"

"I have to go to the pediatrician" I said

"Today?" Yuri said, and I nodded "Want me to come?" she asked, I looked at her "I know, I know you don't like it when I come, fine just drop me at the house"

I parked in front of our apartment

Yuri stood out off the car "By the way you're invited to Zuhair Murad fashion show and the after party on Wednesday, they will send you their dresses line today to choose one of them. Jo is invited too, so he asked if you can be his date?"

I nodded "Yeah of course"

"Okay I'll tell him and you don't be late" she said before walking away.

~~~~After the Fashion show~~~

The driver stopped the car in front of the hotel where the after party is taking a place. The guy in black suit opened the door for me and I walked out of the car then locked arms with Jo. We walked on the red carpet then stood behind Zuhair Murad name for them to take pictures. Then they took us to the party hall.

"So where's the unlucky man?" He hit me softly with his elbow then started looking around for him.

"You know" he said

I looked at him "What?"

"If that bitch is coming with him I'll kill her"

I laughed so hard "My God" I wiped my tears "Boy he's engaged to you, means he's gay so why bothering, maybe they are just close friends" I hit his arm "Like you and me" he looked at me. "Do you think he will feel jealous of me" I smirked holding his arm tighter

He pointed at the table on the left side of the hall, then said "There he is, let's go see"

He was leaning on the table while holding glass of champagne in his hand. He was tall, wearing black suit with bordo colored tie, His hair is dark chocolate brown, which was lustrous and thick. His eyes were deep ocean blue with flecks of light brown. His skin was tanned. He had a well-defined chin and nose. And he was muscular I bet because of all the training he does.

"Finally, you are here" he said then hugged Jo, I let go of Jo's arm then smiled looking at them.

Jo looked at me then at Kurt "Tiffany this is Kurt, Kurt this is Tiffany" he said happily

"I was waiting for this day forever" he hugged me "You have no idea how much I love you" he broke the hug then looked at me "You are my one and only girl crush" he hugged me again but this time it was too tight

"Okay okay" Jo pulled him away "Slow down with your hetero feelings, boy"

I giggled and Kurt stood shy beside Jo. They started talking about the wedding preparations and I was extremely happy listening to them talking to me about their plans and how they will make it public later on, but then Kurt stopped talking all of a sudden and looked at the door "She is here" he looked at Jo "Excuse me" he said then took a step away from us and a very wide smile appeared on his face.

She walked in wearing a perfect bordo dress that sat on her body, with a cut on the side showing her milky white leg every time she takes a step. She was slaying it as if it was just designed for her and only her to wear. Her blonde hair hung up in a ponytail perfectly. She had the kind of face that stopped everyone in their track just to look at her. And she looked like she was used to that, the sudden pause that happens to people when she walks in, or their natural expressions when they look her way. She is so modest and that don't help because it makes everyone fall for her all the more.

Angrily "It's her, that little...ughhh" he said when he saw her walking to Kurt, but then angre rose in him even more when she placed small, little kiss on Kurt's lips then hugged him. "I'm going to kill someone today" Jo said and was about to walk to them.

I held his arm and pulled him back. I was shocked to but I had to stop him before doing something stupid. "Don't stop me" he said looking at me

"She's gay" I whispered and he looked at me confused "You don't have to worry, she's gay that's Kim Taeyeon. Do you remember the other model that's with me the one I told you about... that's her, her name is Kim Taeyeon and she's gay"

He looked even more confused, then his eyes went wide "That's Kim Taeyeon?" He whispered "The other model with you is Kim Taeyeon?" I nodded and then he turned to look at her "Oh my God it's really Kim Taeyeon, how in the name of God I didn't recognize her, she changed a lot"

"Oh you know her?" I asked

"Of course, it's Kim Taeyeon who doesn't"

"Whatever," I crossed my arms looking at her "But anyway, you don't have to worry because she's gay, like so openly gay"

He turned to look at me "Oh don't tell me you don't know her story?" He said

I crosed my eyebrows confused "What story?"

Jo hit his forehead "Oh god girl were you living in a cave or something?"

"Jo," Kurt called him and Jo immediately turned to look at him. Kurt walked to us "This is my sister from another Mister" he said. My jaw dropped and I can see Jo's eyes going more than wide.

Kurt laughed "Just kidding we are not even related, but that would've been amazing" he smiled looking at her, she smiled nodding. "This is Jo" he told her

I saw her gaze falling on me before moving to Jo. "The fiancé" she smiled then lifte her hand up to shake his hand. And that was it she didn't say anything else.

"And you probably know, Tiffany" Kurt smirked looking at me. Her eyes met mine and she nodded to him "I do"

We sat around the table and kurt went to get us drinks. "So Taeyeon, it's okay if I called you Taeyeon, right?" Jo said and I wondered what he's going to ask.

She nodded "Yeah,"

Jo put his arms on the table, as if he's getting ready to start his investigation "Is it normal for you two to say hi like that?" He asked and Taeyeon rose her eyebrow questioning, "Like kiss, like you did" Jo was extremely jealous and it was obvious.

Taeyeon bit her lips barley able to hide her laughing smile "You don't have to worry, we were each other gay beard. Now I don't need it but he still does, we are just that close. He's completely yours."

Jo just nodded then he asked again "So how do you know Kurt?"

She locked her fingers then said "I met him in my mother's funeral, his mother knew mine" this was the only private thing about her she had ever said since I met her.

Jo felt bad for asking, so he said "I'm sorry"

She looked at him up and down, her face straightened up without any expression. She looked away before telling him "Don't apologize for things that aren't your fault"

Jo looked at me surprised, and I mumbled "I told you"

Kurt came with drinks and give Jo first then "Your favorite drink, Jo told me about it" he said putting the glass in front of me.

"I already drank champagne and you don't like it, so here's shots for us" he put the small glasses in front Taeyeon

"I don't like shots either" she said "I also have somewhere to be after this"

"I know, I know but they don't have water" Kurt held his glass laughing "Come on just this" he lift it up to the same level as her face, then said "Drink"

She smiled, "Swalla" both of them hit the glass on the table synchronously then drunk it straight up.

"Fuck me" Taeyeon immediately turned giving us her back and Kurt started giggling while softly tapping on her back "Still my favorite reaction of yours" He looked at me "And believe me she doesn't have much" he said and this time he laughed.

I wanted to say: it's so obvious. But I just giggled over his laugh.

"Are you drunk already?" Kurt said when Taeyeon turned back.

She just side eyed him. Her face was red, and her eyebrows were crossed giving an annoyed expression and somehow it was taking my attention.

"So what were y'all talking about?" his eyes are now on Jo

"Just asking, how you two met" Jo said

"Ah in her mother funeral" he said it lightly like it's nothing, "A funeral she," he pointed at Taeyeon "Didn't want to attend, imagine if you didn't go we would've never met"

Jo and I stayed still in shock for a second. I looked at her and she didn't seems to be interested or even happy about the conversation. Her arms were crossed and she wasn't even looking our way, her eyes were wandering somewhere else. Kurt looked at her and he felt that she wasn't enjoying the subject so he quickly changed it "So Tiffany I heard that you and Taeyeon are working together" he was trying his best to keep the conversation up and make everyone enjoy their time, so I went with what he's trying to do

Excitedly I said "Yess, we are doing this photoshoot for Giorgio Armani's new perfume"

Jo leaned on me "I heard that it's going to be extremely sexy" he said with sass.

I looked at her one more time, and her attention is still not with us, so I moved my gaze to kurt "Yeah kind of but who knows we still didn't start much"

"Well honey I can feel it you're going to slay this come back, you'll make them all fall for you even more" Kurt high fived me.

Taeyeon stood up "Excuse me" she turned her back and was about to walk away, but Kurt held her arm. I looked at Jo and he looked back at me. Did I say something that bothered her? Maybe I shouldn't've answered that question alone or maybe Kurt should've asked her first.

"Is everything okay?" Kurt asked her

She held Kurt's hand and softly moved it away "Yeah...yeah, I just need fresh air" she said but then moved her eyes to the right as if pointing a direction for him and it kind of felt like she's pointing at my direction. She let go of his hand and walked away.

He sat back down "Sorry guys, I apologize on her behalf. You absolutely have nothing to do with it, she just need fresh air" Kurt said but his eyes are not on us, they are on somewhere behind us.

I had the urge to look where he's looking but I stopped myself. However Jo didn't, he turned and looked "Oh my God, isn't this Diva Alexander?"

I said surprised "Diva Alexander!?" and looked behind me, she was standing in front of the door talking to group of people. She was wearing short dark blue dress and her hair is as always long and falling above her shoulder down to her chest and I bet the cobra tattoo on her back is showing. "Damn she's still at it even after all these years" I said, and Jo agreed with me. Suddenly she looked our way and smiled

The second she did Kurt said "That bitch has the nerve to smile" we immediately turned to look at him, with what the fuck look. "Please Jo stay out of this" He told his Fiancé then stood up when Diva walked to him. "What the hell are you doing here?"

She crossed her arms looking at him "I'm Diva Alexander, did you think that I won't be invited?"

"Really then tell me 'Diva Alexander' why weren't you invited to VS's afterparty? Or Dolce & Gabbana's? Louis Vuitton's? Calvin Klein's? What about Chanel's afterparty, oh hold up wait sorry I forgot that you're not allowed to take a step close to any of Chanel's properties because of the problem you did last year in the Fashion week" Kurt said, then he lowered his voice and said "I know why you're here Diva, so please just fuck off" he sounded more than just angry, like different types of emotions are mixed in his voice

"Let me tell you this" she took step closer to him "Watch the way you talk to me or I'll destroy your career in a second"

Kurt ironically giggled "If only you were as good in your job as you're in destroying people's careers you would've been a legend in this industry and contracts would've been raining on you but guess what?" He leaned close to her face "You are not, so let me just set this straight for you if I heard or saw that you did one of your dirty games, even if it was just this little, I swear to god you won't have a life to destroy anyone's career. That's a warning Diva so stay the hell away" He sat back on his chair then looked at her from head to toe and said "Now bless this night and fuck off my face"

When she left, he looked at Jo "Please just don't ask" he seemed stressed, angry, shaking his legs so fast under the table, and his eyes are wandering all over the hall.

Jo stood up "No I'll ask" he kind of yelled "The hell was that, what's happening?" I immediately held his hand and pulled him down to sit again.

"Nothing" said Kurt. I stayed quiet out of it just looking at them.

But then Jo said "Don't tell me you talked to her like this because it has something to do with Kim Taeyeon"

I asked "Taeyeon?"

Kurt slipped his fingers through his hair "I don't want to talk about"

"Tell me it has nothing to do with Taeyeon?" Jo asked again

Kurt held his hand "Let's just not talk about it, can we?"

I looked at both of them "What does Taeyeon has to do with Diva Alexander?"

"Taeyeon didn't come out, she was outed by some anonymous and the news was on every news papers and all over the net. Before that there was a rumor that Taeyeon and Diva were dating, and it was funny because then after Taeyeon was outed, Diva was asked in an interview if the rumor was right but she denied it and said that Taeyeon is the one who actually was trying to hit on her." Jo said "And if that's the reason why you're treating Diva like this because you're a friend with Taeyeon then it's funny because the girl did nothing wrong"

I felt hurt! It wasn't me and I'm not that close to her too but I felt pain in my heart. That's not something someone should go through, no matter what, outting someone is fucked up.

Kurt suddenly yelled hitting the table "YOU THINK ITS FUNNY" I got goosebumps all over my body and Jo eyes went wide in shock. People looked his way then turned away. Thanks God the music was loud

"That bitch outted her" Kurt put his hand on his forehead trying to calm down "Diva was Taeyeon's girlfriend, they were dating since school days. And then when the rumor went viral; Diva got scared because she was already popular, she actually was popular since a very young age and she had a big spot on the runway and between high class fashion designers. She was afraid that she will lose all that, so she anonymously outted Taeyeon then did that interview. She destroyed her, while Taeyeon was just stepping on the first step of her career but then the whole world collapsed over her, and guess who watched her being slut shamed and being kicked out of every opportunity while being insulted and humiliated in front of everyone? Diva did while she was sitting on a chair of gold Taeyeon built for her and even after that Taeyeon stayed besides her and didn't say a word even though she could've showed the whole world pictures of them together and but she didn't, you know why because she loved her more than herself. I saw her, I watched over her, I took care of her when she was crawling her way up, till she was able to stand again. Now tell me its funny, isn't it?"

Jo's hand was over his mouth, he was blank hearing all that "Why you've never told me that?"

Kurt crossed his arm, looking at him "It's not my story to tell, neither yours to tell and judge"


	5. Chapter 5

I was out of words, I felt the tears on my face and I felt the pain. She looks powerful and strong like she got the hold of her life, like her life is complete but she just isn't perfect, and I somehow know that feeling when you lose everything... but to me it was always hard to pretend like its all OK, or act strong and confident like her. What's that super power she has for her to be able to control it all and continue even after all that happened to her? I've never ever thought of what's maybe inside her head, or what kind of pain she's going through... when I see her standing with her head high I just envy her. I've never looked in her eyes and saw weakness it's always confident and power.

"I wasn't judging, I just didn't know" Jo said trying to explain himself.

"It's better to say nothing when you don't know anything, it's just that simple"

I left them arguing, and I went to look for her. The hall was too big for me to find her easily. I looked in the bathrooms, bar, dance floor I looked everywhere but she wasn't there. Maybe she left.

I saw the door to the balcony open so I walked there. It was a little bit dark but I can see the moonlight. I took couple of steps; looking around, then I kind of heard Taeyeon's voice coming from the left side of the balcony, so I walked closer.

Again I over heard Taeyeon saying "It was just a game and you were very good at it" she wasn't alone, so I stood in my place.

"Taeyeon just let me explain" That's Diva's voice!

"Just leave, go you are good at that too"

I couldn't help myself so I turned to the left and saw Diva standing in front of me. she was leaving. She looked at me from head to toe then looked at Taeyeon who was leaning on the balcony glass balustrade giving us her back. Diva looked at me again then just walked pass me without saying a word, it's not like I'm expecting her to.

I walked to Taeyeon and stood beside her "Hi!" I stupidly said looking at the view in front of us.

She turned her face and looked at me with her lefe eyebrow raised. I moved my gaze to her and somehow she has the same face expression she had in the car that day and it made my whole body tense up and I can feel the tension inside me. I had to stop it, so I asked her "What?"

She straightened her body while shaking her head "Nothing, I just wanted to say that you look beautiful...perfect" she said that all of a sudden for no reason and I felt like my mind just melted inside my skull and now fishes are swimming inside it because I literally can't think of anything, so I just giggled then took step back

"Believe me, you should never put perfect and me in the same sentence" I felt drunk!? Dizzy?! I don't know, I felt like in any second I might stumble and fall on her, "But thank you" I took another step back just to make sure I won't actually fall on her.

She kept looking at me then smiled showing her dazzling white teeth. I smiled back then said "I have to go back to Jo, he's waiting for me"

She crossed her arms "I bet he is"

I nodded then walked as fast as possible inside again.

I went to the table and sat down, Kurt and Jo looked at me "Are you okay?" they both asked

"Yeah of course" I said

They nodded then looked away in a different direction.

I looked at them "Did you two fight?"

"Let's not talk about it" they both fired at me. But then Jo whispered to me "Just a stupid fight, don't mind it" he said

After couple of minutes, I saw Taeyeon walking towards our table, and again all eyes were on her but this time it's with a lot of whispering and gossiping. However, she walked like it's her own runway giving no fuck, and that cut on the side is making her slay them even harder. She sat back on her chair then crossed her legs above each other making the dress fall aside showing her leg from thigh to ankle. Kurt proudly looking at her.

She took Kurt's champagne glass "What's next?" she asked and before she take a sip

"Hey~ Taeyeon" woman in purple dress stood in front of her. She was one of the people Diva was standing with. She's probably one of her friends too. It became kind of quiet all of a sudden and everyone was looking at them

Taeyeon side-eyed her then took a sip from the glass.

"Nice dress you have" she raised her voice as if she's trying to make everyone hear.

Kurt put his hand on his mouth "She's coming to the wrong girl" he said trying not to laugh, Taeyeon looked at him then smiled. I looked at that woman and everyone around us. I don't get what's happening, is she here to insult her or humiliate her in front of everyone?

"So umm...I know that you're not social, but I just want to ask you about the dress price, how much is it?" She asked

"Oh shit, she's trying to offend her" Jo whispered in my ear. I looked at Taeyeon and she was just sitting there quiet, it made me angry. Why the hell she is not defending herself.

That girl crossed her arms "Or let me guess the price tag is still there. Hashtag Hide the price tag" she said and you can hear giggles coming from everywhere. Anger rose in me and I was about to stand up and scream in that woman face but then Taeyeon spoke

"Believe me you don't want to ask about this dress price tag" she looked at her, "But let me give you a hint if you're that determined to know, it has way too many zeroes and many commas," she looked up and down at that woman's dress "And apparently your gold credit will never be able to offer it" Taeyeon stood up to face her, and you can see that girl sweating "So listen Ms. Hi I'm rich and my father name is Mr. Visa, let's not talk about the price tag because it's ridiculous. However," she moved her hand up and fixed that girl dress "I heard that the ones who try so hard to look expensive on the outside are broke on the inside, so if you need any help I'll be more than happy to give you my black credit. Hashtag black cards matter" Taeyeon said then sat back down on her chair

My eyes went wide to the max, holy moly the fuck just happened. That girl froze in her place. The whole hall was too quiet till Kurt laugh rose high. Taeyeon kept a straight face with her head down looking at her phone, and everyone followed Kurt laughing at that girl.

She sighed deeply, she put her phone down, "Stop" she told Kurt then looked at that girl who clearly was about to cry. Taeyeon stood up and bowed her head down to that girl, and said "I apologize"

Did she just apologize?! Kurt bit his finger, surprised with his eyes wide open. That girl stood agape looking at her.

Taeyeon looked at everyone "Turn back the music, and go back to what you were doing, This is not a show to entertain you so mind your own business and continue your party" she pulled the chair from the table behind her and put it besides her, then held the girl hand and made her sit down.

They turned the music on again and everyone turned the other way but you can tell that they're still talking about what happened even some of them steal glances at Taeyeon.

Taeyeon bit her lower lip while shaking her head as if she's regretting what she said, "I know that Diva sent you" she glanced at the now in tears girl "I'm sorry" Taeyeon apologized again

Kurt angrily yelled at Taeyeon "Why are you apologizing when it's not even your fault" she ignored him, then gave the girl tissue to wipe her tears

The girl took it then said "He's right it's not your fault"

"It is my fault, you insulted me and I just responded to you by insulting you back which is stupid because you can't fix a mistake with another mistake."

I felt vibration on the table, I looked around and it's Taeyeon's phone; I uncontrollably saw the screen and it was just an alarm without any notification or title or anything.

Taeyeon took her phone and looked at that girl again "In this society if women don't support each other we won't be able to have part in it. Let me not put a gender on it but If those people around us saw that a woman is slut shaming, body shaming or any type of insulting another woman they will think if they are shaming each other than we can shame and insult them too. It will be like you are opening a door for them, a door that you won't be able to close. If we don't support each other than who will?" She said to her then stood up

"I'll ask you to excuse me now, I have to go. Thank you" Taeyeon told us then turned to look at Kurt "I'll call you later" she left the table and walked out.

Kurt moved a glass of champagne to that girl "You can spend the night with us if you want,"

The girl stood up "Thank you but I think I'll go home" she said then walked out.

"What a strange night" I said looking at Jo

Kurt giggled "When you know Taeyeon, you will go through worse, this is just the beginning run while you can"


	6. Chapter 6

I entered Jo's apartment; thanks God he didn't change the password.

"Hey Jo" he was sitting on the sofa watching TV "Did you see the news?" I asked walking to him

He looked at me "What news?"

"Kim Taeyeon insulted '-' in front of every one then tried to apologizes with her head down" I threw the news paper in front of him "Her picture is the cover of every news paper. They didn't even write what that girl said, they are making Taeyeon the bad person. She wasn't even looking down she was looking at her phone." I said crossing my arms. Taeyeon has attitude yes but that girl was bitch first

"Whatever, that girl is a mess any way, a hot one with an expensive dress and a lot of money in her bank." He put his legs on the table, then continued watching his series.

"Seriously? You too?" I bet he's still mad since yesterday, Kurt probably is still not talking to him "Okay I'm done with you, bye" I walked my way back out of his apartment, and as I was closing the door behind me I bumped in Kurt "Hii" I awkwardly said, not knowing if I should give hug or hand shake

"Hey" he pulled me to a friendly hug and honestly solved my awkward problem. I got a hint of another perfume smell mixed with his and it's so familiar. He pulled away and looked at me

"Jo is inside, you can come in" I said but he shook his head

"I'm here for you," he said

My eyebrows crossed surprised then I pointed at myself "Me!?"

He giggled and asked me "Umm wanna go for a coffee?"

I nodded, "Yeah sure"

We walked to the café besides Jo's apartment. He asked what I want, I told him iced tea and he smiled. After he gave his order, he looked at me and said "You drink iced Tea, Taeyeon drink iced coffee" he said then walked to the table away from the window. My heart dropped when he said her name and I lost words; why suddenly bringing her up? And what's with the smile he's wearing right now?

I walked to the table and sat down in front of him. They brought the drinks for us and Kurt took his time putting sugar then tasting if it's good, I took couple of sips looking at him, while curious why he wants to talk to me.

After all the waiting he put his cup down and looked up at me "I'm here to thank you, for what you did yesterday" he said and I rose my eyebrows confused, what did I do yesterday?

"I was having a breakfast with Taeyeon this morning and she told me that you came looking for her. She was glad that you did, so I want to thank you in her behalf because she will never come to you and tell you that" he shook his head while giggling "I'm thankful that you did too" his smile faded and he looked down on his cup again "With all the drama that happened yesterday, I didn't even think of going to check on her; fighting with Jo made me forget that she took too long to come back" he seemed sad and regretful.

What are you to her? I wanted to ask but it's not my line to point at, "No worries, it's nothing I went to look for her because I needed air too and I thought I should leave you and Jo to talk"

He nodded "Still thankful" then moved the coffee away "I hate coffee" he suddenly said

And my eyes went wide surprised... Then why the hell did he order it, "Seriously?"

"Yeah I'm not a caffeine fan, Taeyeon force me to drink it" I laughed at him so hard that my tears fell. He just looked at me smiling.

"Then why did you order it" I asked

He pointed his index finger up "That... because I wanted to look fancy in front of you, you will be my sister in-law" and I gave him a look, he chuckled

We stayed quiet for awhile just taking sips of the drinks in our hands, while Kurt faking that he likes what's in his hand.

"I don't want to sound a bit off the line but you seem to show the interest in Taeyeon" he gave me semi smirk and I lift my head up in shock "Don't get me wrong I'm happy that you're" I said nothing just focusing on what he have to say

"Ever since I knew Taeyeon she always go on her own, and if someone showed interest in her then they're probably doing it for a reason or purpose for their own benefits, because Taeyeon give that...the what they call it?" He snapped his fingers trying to come up with a word

"Bitch vibe" I said

He looked at me surprised then nodded "Yeah kind of bitch vibe" he giggled accepting that she does have that vibe "But she isn't, she truly isn't she might come off like one but Taeyeon is really good person she just went through a lot of fakeness and lies"

"This is life" I didn't know what I'm supposed to say or why he's still telling me things about her as if he's trying to convenc me that she's perfect and not bitch as she seems

He giggled "Yeah Taeyeon always say that" Suddenly my phone rang, I lift it up and it was the guy from the photo shoot. I picked it up "I have to answer it" I told Kurt

"Sure"

Tiffany - Hello-

William -Hi this is William I'm calling you to inform you that we are having a meeting at 4 pm I hope you will be able to make it-

Tiffany -Yeah sure I have 2 hours I can make it-

William -Okay then see you there-

I hang up "I have to go it's the photoshoot" I said to Kurt

"It's fine take care of yourself and a bit for Taeyeon" He giggled

I smiled awkwardly then took my phone and walked out to my car.

I parked the car in the staff parking then went straight to the photoshoot area.

"Did you see the news?" I overheard William "The news is about me so yes of course I saw it" that's Taeyeon's in your face voice

"It's kind of troublesome" he told her

"If you think it's going to be controversial and bring some bad news to your new perfume then let's just end it now and here." That's what I meant when I said in your face... She really doesn't care

"No, never, will never let you go no matter what" William said trying holding to her as if she left it will be the end

"Good then, we don't have much time to waste" "I understand, I was told you have somewhere to go at 9 so I promise you this time we will finishe before that."

9? She always have somewhere to be at 9 even yesterday she left exactly at 9 that's hella weird.

William left Taeyeon alone... She held her phone and started texting or what seemed like she was doing, so I decided to go to her but suddenly her manger walked to her while saying "If you keep doing and saying that no one will want to give you job or even work with you, be blessed that you are given all these opportunities. Stop treating everyone like they owe you."

"Beg your pardon?" She turned to look at her "What in the name of God are you doing here? who put you as my manager anyway..."

"I'm not your manger I'm just here to give help as a friend"

"Fuck your friendship I don't need that, so just go away and continue your life, I can do everything alone very well"

"Just remember that nobody owe you anything and one day people will get bored of your attitude and you will go back crawling for a job and will see if your mama emotion tears will help" I didn't understand what she was talking about but I felt the line she crossed...

Taeyeon suddenly held that girl from her shirt collar "Watch what you say, don't come to me thinking that you know everything... Just because we opened a door for you, that doesn't mean you will be on the same level. You see all the things that you do trying to get a step ahead? Yeah you'll still never reach. You'll never be it. You're the number one like the very top of the never list. Seriously like with all the honest in this world who the fuck you think you're? You say I'm obsessed with myself and I have a very fucked up attitude, I agree. However remember this as long as you live just because Kurt trusted you again and covered what you did doesn't mean I did and it also doesn't mean I don't know what you did behind my back or that I trust you again, so back off before I close the only open door you have in your damn face." Taeyeon let go of her shirt... Shit... She is scary as fuck so I took step back so she won't be able to see me.

Taeyeon inhaled a deep breath then bit her bottom lip "look... Don't make me angry like this again please, I hate this childish bullshit you people love to do." She fixed her clothes, and before turning her back to walk away she took couple of steps towards the makeup room "And for real don't think if you mouth off I'll blow your face, this is not me. But I'll tell you this if you ever decided to open your mouth again like you did before just plan for it well, you can also mention that I fucked the company's mangers, the company's models, and the girls who do my makeup and hair just to make the articles fun and readable. I'm already sick and tired of them repeating the same words over and over again, I'm this close to losing the interest." I watched her back while she entered the room and closed the door behind.

I stayed still waiting for that girl to walk away but she didn't move from her place, she didn't even blink. Her face was dark, no emotions, it was like a black page.

I was running late so I just walked passed her to the make-up room like I didn't see or heard anything. When I entered I saw Taeyeon sitting on the chair while the girls are doing her makeup and hair. "Come sit here" Lucy pulled the chair for me. I sat down while still looking at Taeyeon while the girls are laughing and joking with her. Lucy started doing my makeup and I started thinking did Taeyeon really sleep with them all? The girls here seem close to her and she seems nice with them...what the hell I'm thinking of again

By the time I was done thinking about what she said, they finished doing my makeup, hair and now it was just me and Her in the room... Alone.

I didn't want her to talk, ask, or tell anything so I started first "Hi" I said looking at her but she kept looking at her phone and just nodded

I got angry... she can make me angry in seconds, so words slipped away "What an attitude" shit i shouldn't have said that

She put her phone down and turned her chair to look at me. I immediately turn my gaze away from hers. Damn I think I made her angry

"Yeah, I have an attitude but it's the best that you'd ever see" she said and she had that power to turn my gaze back to her without doing anything.

"You're crazy" I said smiling uncontrollably

She looked directly into my eyes and said "Is that why I am always in your mind?"

And I lost it... Literally...I stayed quiet so quiet not being able to say anything... Did she read my mind... She's crazy... And she's always on my mind... Fuck

She stood up and walked to me "We might fight and we might not agree on the same things, but guaranteed you'll want to stay around more" she put her hands on the chair arms and leaned to my face "And if you don't fuck this whole photoshoot up promise, I will end up blowing your mind" she let go of the chair "Or maybe your heart" she said smirking then walked out

FUCK YOU...LITERALLY... no not literally BUT FUCK YOU ASSHOLE MOTHERFUCKER UGHHH

"Tiffany!" William popped his head through the door "Whenever you are ready we have to start...ummm your face is red are you okay"

"Yeah I'm fine, we can start now"

I went to the set and honestly I don't know if I am mad or not, she made me a mess I can't understand my feelings at this moment. She was standing with her shirt off the same way she was the first time hiding her chest with her hair. And I was doing the same. The photographer asked me to stand beside her to take the last pictures in this position...thanks God.

"Miss Hwang I want you to stand behind miss kim" I did as he told me "Miss Kim I want you to move your hair and Miss Tiffany I want you to cover Taeyeon's chest with your right arm"

Taeyeon nodded and stood waiting for me to move my arm in front of her so she can move her hair to the side. I started to get nervous...and stress started to take over. 'if you don't fuck this whole photo shoot up promise, I will end up blowing your mind' her words popped up inside my head and I had the feeling to not fuck it, like I wanted to see how she will blow my mind up. I put my fingers tips on her back and It was like my fingers are suddenly made of iron and there's magnet inside her skin that won't let me take my hand off. I shifted my arm slowly to her chest under her hair. Chills took my body when I felt her nipples but her body stayed cold, still, not even moved a little. She moved her hair to the back and her fragrant filled my soul, it mesmerized me, controlled me. Yes... that's what I want the most, and my mind was blown by her just like that.


	7. Chapter 7

"Okay we will take 30 minutes break then we will move on to the next set" Jay said looking through the pictures on his camera.

I made sure not to take my hands away till the assistant came and gave Taeyeon robe.

"Give it to her" Taeyeon told the lady then walked away from my arms, she took her shirt and wore it.

I looked at the assistant who was waiting for me to take it "Thank you" I thanked her then wore the robe.

Yuri held my arm "Let's take you to eat something" she walked me to the models resting room.

Yuri went to get me something to eat and i entered the room. It was quiet with only Taeyeon there. She was sitting on the black soffa with her legs and arms crossed, her eyes shut and her head leaning on the soffa's back. I sat on the table's chair slowly trying not to make any noise.

I won't lie I kept looking at her sleeping till Yuri came with the food. "Shhhh" I put my index finger on my lips, pointing Yuri not to make noise. She looked at Taeyeon then put the food on the table and sat on the chair beaide me.

"She doesn't want to eat?" Yuri whispered.

"I dont know" I answered her then suddenly Taeyeon's phone rang she immediately woke up and answered as if she was waiting for this call forever.

"Yes baby girl" she answered the phone. Yuri looked at me and i looked back at her.

"No no I wasn't sleeping I'm wide awake" she said rubbing her forehead "Anyway did you eat?...Don't worry about me I ate already... Tell me what did they make you?... Was it yummy?" what a liar.

After talking for a while about food "Yes of course I'm coming today...No I dont have work...I swear...okay see you at nine...bye bye love" she put the phone down, and her eyes met mine. She laid back and continued her nap.

"Girlfriend?" Yuri whispered

I left my shoulders " I dont know" I just felt like something pulled me down and I no longer in the mood for anything.

After the 30 minutes passed or so; one of the assistants came in and said that we should go to the dressing room to change. I went there and Taeyeon followed me.

"You two come sit here" the dresser made us sit beside each other on the soffa. "Let's have fun with lingeries" She yelled then pointed at Taeyeon "Kim you too quiet but I bet with my entire life that you are wild as hell" she went to the closet "Here you go, you will have the black lingerie with the garter belt" she gave it to Taeyeon. The blonde girl took it and went to changed without a word. The dresser looked at me "Hwang...you've alway give me the innocent vibe even though I sometimes feel like you can be so wild that nobody can catch you" she said laughing making me giggle with her "Here you go you will take the white lingerie with the corset" I took it and went to change to, this time I feel more comfortable.

"ladies you don't have wear them all just put the bra and underwear and come out we will help with the rest" she said

I walked out Taeyeon was already finished, she's standing while the dresser assistant was putting the garter belt around waist.

And here my eyes go againg hooked all over her. My eyes didn't know where they should look, they are just trying to save every inch of her inside my head.

FUCK TIFFANY FOCUS

"Come here let me do your corset" Alexandra said. I stood quietly while she was doing her job, then I don't know what came to my mind I decided to look at the mirror. My heart droped so fast when i saw her looking at me. She looked away then moved her body down to pull the stockings.

I turned away...I don't think I'll be able to handle it if she looked at me again, I'll probably have to stop the photo shoot...again.

"I want Kim's godly blonde hair to be lift up, like in a messy bun or messy ponytail" The dresser told the hair stylist. She connected my corset's clips with the stockings "And yours i want it the way it is down but messy so messy" she said messing my hair.

Taeyeon walked out first then i followed. I walked to her on the set and stood beside her trying my best not to look at her at all.

"Okay now I want this to be natural, I want you Ms. Kim to stand infront of Tiffany and just look at each other's eyes and decide how you want to take pose, let the flow take this last shoot" Jay prepared his camera and brought some of his other photographers to take pictures with him from different angle.

No...I wanted to scream, I wont be able to do that with her looking at me, but I couldn't say it. Taeyeon turned and looked at me, I stayed infront of her but Looked away. Then she suddenly she opened her arms, palm up infront of me like she is asking for a hug, and with this she was able to make me look at her just this. I pushed my body and hugged her, I hugged her so tight, she fit every part of me perfectly. I felt her breath getting closer to my ear, then she whispered

"I will not do anything that would make you uncomfortable...I promise"

Her words made my senses go crazy, the sounds around me disappeard, I can't feel anything around me, nothing made sense but her body between my arms. I bured my face in her shoulder, and when I opened my eyes I saw the word that shifted my entire view of everything and everything I'm feeling.

And from that second throughout the whole photo shoot, and the clothes changing, the noise and all the light, pictures and poses; my mind was completely stunned by the ink under her collarbone. The word that is engraved on her skin was driving me crazy. Why there are little things about her that connect me so deeply to her I don't understand.


	8. Chapter 8

I was changing my clothes after finishing the photoahoot then I heard knocking on the door "Yes" I answered then wore my shirt

"Your phone is ringing" Yuri said

I opened the door and she gave me the phone. It was Jo, I answerd him while walking to the car.

Me: Yes baby boy

Jo: Finished?

Me: Just did

Jo: I made up with Kurt...

Me: Thanks god you two should never fight

Jo: So we were thinking since you finished today why dont we me, Kurt, you, and Taeyeon go for lunch tomorrow then maybe go to a club or something to celebrate, Kurt said also to get to know each other.

Me: Yeah...yeah sure

Jo: Really?

Me: Yeah of course why not

Jo: Good...lovely I'll let them know, see you tomorrow bye bye

Me: See you

"FUCK" I hang up

"What's up?" Yuri parked infront of our apartment.

"Jo asked me to go have lunch tomorrow"

She looked at me "So what's up with that?"

"With him, Kurt and that Kim Taeyeon" I said frustrated

"Still don't get what's wrong with it" she said clueless.

"Ughhhh" I opened the door and walked to the apartment.

Yuri followed me "So you telling me that you are anxious because you will have lunch with Kurt and that cutey pie" she said while closing the door

I looked at her confused...cutey pie?

"Okay it seems like it's all because of the cutey pie, Kurt has nothing to do with it" she walked toward me "You don't like her?" Yuri asked,

She said it and I felt my heart beating fast...no how can I not like her. I can't make her think that. "Here it comes..." I stood infront of her "I think I like that cutey pie" I said it, and my body started sweating, my temperature is high as hell, I just want to hit my heart to make it stop beating. I waited for her to answer

"Who doesn't" she just said that...simply

"No" I yelled "I like her like... like her"

"I'm sorry what?" Yuri put her phone down and looked at me.

I sat on the soffa, I needed to sit or I'm gonna faint any second. "I sleep, I think about her, I wake up I think about her, she is making me lose my mind. She made me start talking to myself and when I see her walking towards me I start walking like a crazy person. I take her out of my heart, I see her infront of me and I end up watching her and daydreaming. Like I beg you just let me know what she's doing to me, she didn't leave brain inside my head, she's taking over my heart, she's destroying me and I'm not able to sleep because of her. Every single time she walks beside me I feel the heat all over my body, my blood rush to my head, and I can make a concert from my heart beat...yeah this is how loud" Shit I said all that damn me...Tiffany the fuck is happening to you.

I stood up without looking at her "I'll go to bed" I said but she held my arm

"What's happening? Talk to me"

"Nothing, I just really wanna go to sleep it's getting late" I myself don't know what's happening to me. Where all this came from.

I woke up and the sun was shinning all over the room, "God Yuri and her obsession with opening the curtains" I covered my head with the blanket. I want to sleep more but i can't shake the idea that I'm having lunch with her and Kurt of course. I kind of wish it is just me and her but that would make me nervous as hell and probably awkward from my side of course, she would only sit there quiet saying nothing.

Yuri entered the room "Cutey pie is calling"

My heart dropped and I immediately moved the blanket to look at her "What?"

She walked to me "Just kidding it's Jo" she said and I felt let down

"I'll kick you" I took the phone

Jo: I want tell you something but don't kill me.

Me: What's up? You are scaring me

Jo: Me and Kurt we won't be able to make it to lunch, this wedding thing came up and we have to go meet up with the hall owners.

Me: It's okay, we will leave to another day

Jo: No no, you and Taeyeon should go, me and Kurt we will see you after the meeting to go have drink , also we already paid for the booking so you two should go

Me: What if Taeyeon doesn't want?

Jo: Kurt called her she said okay, so you can't say no anymore, go have fun. I have to go now see you later today bye bye love you.

Damn, I shouldn't've thought about it early. I through the phone on the bed beside me then looked at Yuri "No" I told her, and she looked at me confused. "I hate when I feel things, before I know the feelings. How am I supposed to operate if I'm just tossed around by fate like this?"

"What's going on i can't keep up with you anymore" Yuri sat beside me

"I can't go for lunch only with her" I sat on the edge of my bed "Jo and Kurt won't be able to come and she said yes for us to have lunch together"

"That's good then it's a date" Yuri said giggling, I looked at her nervously. She held my hand and told me "But seriously, you like her maybe that's an opportunity for you to get to know each other, and for you to let her see the very beautiful human you are"

I just thinking about that made me more nervous, "But Yuri..." I turned to look at her "What if I did that and we started to talk, what if she thinks that I talk too fast? Or what if she starts asking me questions about myself, before I've decided that, she can ask me questions about myself?"

She put her hand on my shoulder "Calm down"

"But what if she made me sit too close to her? what if when she sees me like this, what if she doesn't like it? What if she runs the other way? What happens then? Or when she knows me, she's only disappointed and she hates me? That if she doesn't already do. But what if I give myself away, to only get it given back? You know that can't live with that."

Yuri smiled "You're stressing out, relax, and stop being selfless. What if she was the one that is not trustworthy, what if you were the one that ends up not liking her when you get to know her. What if she doesn't like pink, we all know how much you like pink"

"Oh my god she could be criminal, some sort of psychopath who escaped from an institution then became a model, or she could have masterminded some way to find me, Or she could be colorblind how untrustworthy is that... not like there's something wrong with being colorblind it's something normal, but like you shou..."

"Tiffany stop you are just anxious, what criminal and institution, girl you are overthinking, just go and let thing go with the flow. Maybe just maybe she is a different person when she's outside the job you don't know"

"Ughhhh" I walked to the closet to find something to wear. "You know what scares me the most?"

"Tell me" Yuri hugged me from back

"That what if she opens up a door, and I can't close it? What happens next? If when she holds me, my heart is set in motion, I'm not prepared for that. I'm scared of breaking open to her, but still I can't help from wanting this, from wanting someone who will like the way I am. Someone who when they see me, they want to again."

She turned me to look at her "You are still you, you are still so beautiful, and every person deserve to be loved, just because you went through that it doesn't mean you are less than beautiful or less than anyone else, if you like her go with it don't step back there's nothing wrong with loving"

I nodded, "Help me find something to wear?"

She smiled "Of course I will help you" she looked at the clothes infront of her, "What's her favorite color" she asked looking at me with a smirk

"I have no idea" I laughed so hard, everything felt so good I dont even know why

I walked in the restaurant; and it's the classy, fancy type. Where they serve top class food and the place is in a white and gold theme, with white gloves, and black uniform waiters, some waiting for the customers infront of the door and some are serving people there. Honestly the amount of money that one spends at this fancy restaurant would feed five families in a poor country for three months but who am I to judge Jo's taste?

A waiter came my way "Miss Tiffany, please come with me... from here" I walked with her and she pointed me to the table where Taeyeon was sitting. I walked to her and when she saw me, she put her phone down and stood up. She was wearing white top tank with long bordo jacket, and black ripped jeans with white fishnet under it. She looked causal but so beautiful.

"Hi" I said looking at her, again not knowing if I should hand shake, or hugs I don't know we've never done that.

"Hey" she said then sat down, okay guess no hugs.

She kept looking at me, even though all im wearing is beige dress but she didn't take her eyes away from my body and then up to my face, "The dress suits you" she... complimented me!

I took a deep breath, and nodded "Thank you"

"Should we order?" Taeyeon said

"Sure" she gave me the menu "Did you wait for long?" I'm trying to be nice

"No, I came early I don't like making people wait, you came on time" she rose her eyebrows together than put them down as if saying surprisingly...is she mocking me again? God I hate her attitude, she's killing me... Can't she just be nice? Like she was yesterday...gosh

The waiter came "Would you like to have the restaurant lunch menu" she asked, I looked at Taeyeon who looked at me back

"It's fine with me" I said putting the menu down

"Okay then we'll take that, but is it possible if mine was made vegan" she said, and I wanted to laugh the shock laugh... She's vegan? Seriously? Vegan...

"Of Course it is possible, we have a full vegan menu, I'll make sure the chef puts plus the attention on what the food is made of" she said smiling

"Thank you" Taeyeon smiled then gave the menus to the waiter

"Anything to drink?" she asked before leaving

I stayed quiet then Taeyeon looked at me, "We are celebrating, so we'll take champagne" she said smiling to the lady in white gloves.

When the waiter I couldn't help but saying it "So you are vegan?"

"Yeah"

Here she comes againg with her short answers. We both stayed quiet for awhile. My mind working so hard trying to find something to talk about and she's just sitting there crossing legs looking at me and around. It's like she enjoys the silence and it doesn't bother her at all. Okay mind make something up... Come on

"Do you like Oreos?" What the hell Mind?

She giggled "Oreos is vegan, so yeah I like Oreos" I made her giggle... I should talk about what she likes

"So being vegan means you don't eat meat...any type of meat, animal products and anything that has animal products in it right? And being vegetarian is just not eating any type of meat" I asked interestingly

"Yeah exactly" she smiled a proud smile "I'm so glad you know the differences between vegan and vegetarian, people who don't annoy me"

Good job Tiffany you are doing good keep going. However She's looking at me more now and I'm starting to feel more nervous...she's melting my inside I swear.

The waiter came with the food...here comes my save, Taeyeon took her eyes off of me and looked at the lady, who put the food infront of us then the other waiter who brought the champagne bottle.

"Can I have a glass of cold water please?" Taeyeon asked and she brought it for her. They poured the drink for us then left.

"Let's make a toast" I held my glass, she followed me, "For our photoshoot, let it be successful" I moved my glass to her

She nodded "To that" she let her glass touch mine and I took a sip...then put my glass down and looked at her, she was still holding the glass, she didn't even drink from it.

She moved her glass to me "Can you drink from it?" she asked, and I swear to god I've never been this confused before.

"You want me to drink from it?" she simple nodded. I took the glass from her and looked at it...why the hell she wants me to drink from it? I looked at her and she was just looking at me waiting. Is it poisoned or something? I took a very small sip and gave it to her

She put the glass back in my hand "A big one please"

"Is it poisoned?" I asked

She smiled shaking her head "No"

I drink from it and now the glass is half full.

"Thank you" she took the glass and put it infront of her then took the water and poured it over the champagne

I looked at ger shocked "You are kidding me?"

She bit her lips giggling so hard, while moving the glass around to mix the water and the drink.

I was so shocked to the point I started to laugh so hard "You are serious? Like so serious"

She nodded and her tears were falling from laughter, "I hate champagne so I thought if I put water over it, it will taste less of it" she put the glass down and started laughing.

I uncontrollably bit my thumb looking at her laughing on her own action. God she looks so beautiful in that emotion, and I felt relief... She slowly stopped laughing and looked at me while I was spacing in her beauty. Her eyes were sparkling because of her tears, her face is red, and her lips are so pink... I woke up from daydreaming when she said...

"We should eat before the food gets cold"

I held the spoon and before I start eating, I pointed at her drink "So does it taste better now?"

She took a sip then looked up trying to taste it "It does" she said giggling,

I sensed a lie, "May I?" I took the glass and drink a bit "That tasteless" I gave it back

She laughed "Taste like water,"

We started eating and at that moment I realized that everything is actually going fine, it's going way better than I expected.

"So you are telling me this pasta is vegan?" I asked

She nodded swallowing a bite she took before I aksed "It is" she moved the plate closer to me, "Try some..." I looked at her, and honestly just this little action made me happy. She's interacting with me, means I'm not annoying her.

"Promise it taste good you won't die from it" she said scooping a spoon, and put it infront of me; and here comes the butterflies... I moved closer and took the bite

"Woow it really is good" I looked down blushing while wiping my mouth since I was shaking like hell.

"See it's just like your normal food"

I smiled agreeing with her.

We were close to finishing our food, and suddenly Taeyeon asked the question first "Do you like flowers?"

"Yeah I do," I looked around and the restaurant has alot of beautiful flower plants all around.

"If..." She looked at me "If right now I stood up and went there and got you that flower" she pointed at the rose in the standing pot beside the wall "Will you let me go get it for you and make that flower die or you will let it grow?"

"You are crazy" I said resting my head on my hand looking at her

"I need to know"

I moved my gaze to the rose "It' so beautiful I want it yes..." honestly I want her to give me a flower "However I'll let it grow even though I want it...because with me it will die eventually, so I rather not have it" I smiled "Unless you have magic to make it undying flower then yes I want it give it to me"

"I don't have magic unfortunately"

I pulled my gaze to her, she went back to being expressionless, she moved her hand and took a piece of tissue and started making a flower out of it, I looked at her mesmerized...

After she finished she raised the white flower in front me "But I'm sure this one won't die"


	9. Chapter 9

"Kurt just called, he wants us to go pick him and Jo" Taeyeon said, after she came back from the restroom.

"Let me just get the bill" I stood up,

"It's already paid let's go, the car is waiting" she walked before me...

"What car?" I followed her

She looked at me before they open the restaurant door for us "My car?"

"Thank you" I told the waiters, then walked outside, "You drive?" I looked at the black cadillac infront of me.

She smiled to me, shaking her head while walking to the driver door. I entred the car and it smells like her perfume mixed with Kurts exactly like that smell he had when he asked me for coffee.

She drove away, and I sat still...but it's me I can't stay quiet, "So mmm...when we were doing the last photoshoot, I saw the tattoo you had..."

"Ah my Serenity Tattoo, I had it since a very young age" she kept her eyes on the road "I was 12, I did it Illegally" she said laughing, "Kurt and I had that friend who had a father that was the owner of a tattoo shop. So one day we went to her to do our homework together but we eneded up playing all day in the tattoo shop, then we found the tattoo machine and she decided to give me a tattoo and I said okay..." she stopped on the red light.

"You were very young, why did you choose serenity, it's kind of a big word" If Kurt was there, then it means her mother died when she was a kid...

She turned to look at me and she had an amazed look in her eyes, "Yeah, it is a big word, and it is also something I always was looking for, in every place everywhere before my mother death and a lot after it. However at the end I found it within myself" she continued driving when the light turned green, "I am my own serenity, and that's why I chose it"

I hit my heart softly trying to stop it from beating fast,

"You have any tattoos?" she asked then looked at me "You are sweating are you okay? Are you hot should I turn the AC up" she turned the AC up, looking at road then me.

"Yeah I'm totally fine, no I dont have any tattoo" I held myself together

"My friend became a tattoo artist, one day we should go to her shop," honestly you can take me wherever you want...

She stopped the car in front of the house I took her that day, Kurt and Jo were standing there.

She rolled the window down and put her arm outside "Hey sexy boys" she whistled want a lift?" Me and Jo giggled.

Kurt walked to her window with wild smile and his left eyebrow raised up high "Girl..." he moved his fase close to her "You... are... tipsy" he said surprised

Taeyeon hit the door laughing "I am" I looked at her surprised

"How did you drive?" Kurt asked her

"I'm tipsy not drunk for God sake" she sound sober to me

"Still dengoures" he said trying not to laugh, "Go sit back you are not driving," he opened the door

"Okay fine, just dont get mad at her I'm the trashy drinker" she stepped out and sat at the back, did she just told him not to get mad at me? How can be the tipsy her more nice then the sober her?

"I didn't know she was tipsy, if I knew I wouldn't've let her drive." I told Kurt when he sat beside me.

"I know you didn't know, she's kinda tricky to know. When she's drunk she become honest like seriously honest but so quiet, and when she's tipsy she talks a lot and she gets hype, anyway how many drinks did you two had without us?" Maybe that's why she opened up and talked about herself.

"We drank champagne, she only had two glasses... mixed with water, how did she get tipsy? I have no idea"

"Well as she said she really is a trashy drinker, she can't handle anything"

I made Jo sit in front and I sat back with Taeyeon, Kurt said he will take us to a club that is pretty fun. While we were on our way, Jo turned the radio on since the air was so quiet to the point it was becoming uncomfortable.

Taeyeon was sitting quiet but when she heard the first beat that came from the radio, her whole body rose "Turn it up" she told Jo who did what she told him,

"Mary Lambert?" Kurt excitedly asked

Taeyeon shouted "Yesss"

Kurt looked at Taeyeon from mirror then sang (Lady, got a car and a weekend)

(Lady, do you feel what I'm feelin'?) Taeyeon sang back

(I, get to see you again) Kurt said his part while looking at Jo this time

(I love the way that you walked in)

(Lady, I've been waiting for ya)

She pointed at me (Hey, wanna go out dancin'?) yes please take me

(Hey, would you take a chance on me?) both of them sang together

Kurt took his hands off the wheel "It's the sexy part now it's the sexy part"

(I wanna take you out, I wanna make you shake, I wanna drive you wild,) both of them shouted (But I probably should Know your name,)

They both started laughing "Hey remember how we used to dance to this?" Kurt asked Taeyeon

"Yeah..." she looked at me and said while laughing "We used to standing under the AC and sing this part while being emotional then jump off the bed and start a rock band"

Kurt laugh became louder "Then my mom would come and yell at us"

Taeyeon yelled at him "Because your voice was so loud like you're really in rock band"

"It was" Kurt said looking at Jo

Taeyeon wiped her tears "Oh man I miss your mom, she is the best especially when she used to go hit you even though I'd be the one who comes with the stupid ideas"

"Girl I hated that, so much" Kurt said and Taeyeon laughed again

We arrived to the club, and Taeyeon ran straight to get drinks.

"That's new of her" Kurt stood beside me

"What?" I looked him

"Her running to get a drink" he said giggling "But Thank you, for going with her, also im glad she got tipsy or you would've seen her sitting in the corner or outside. She's always driving because she's always the one sober" he said looking at her taking shot after shot

"Someone should stop her" I said giggling

"Yeah" he laughed then we walked to her

"She's wild," Jo said when we walked to them. He gave me a glass then he gave Kurt.

And the night went like that shots with laugher. I looked at Taeyeon who was starting to ge quiet. I walked to her ,"Hey" I yelled in the middle of all the noise so she can hear me.

She turned to me and suddenly her face lighted up "Holy mother of the earth..." she moved close to me "You are so beautiful" she said, and my head tilted looking at her astonished. I took deep breath, then held her arm

"You want to dance?" I asked, and she nodded, then took her jacket off.

She held my hand and took me to the dance floor, it felt as if we were in a dream; the way the blue light mixed with the red in the dark turning the whole club atmospher to lilac sky.

She let my hand go but she kept her eyes on me. She jumped elegantly while singing along with the song, then started dancing, her body in tune with the loud music.

"Come closer" she yelled jumping to me, I couldn't help but smile at her and how cute she looks.

The floor was crowded, some were looking at us, recognize who we are. However, I didn't quite care at that moment, I walked to her and started jumping with her to the beat of the music that filled our ears. This is the first time in my entire life for me not to care at all and I dont know why... is it because I was falling in love with the girl in front of me whom I hardly know? Maybe, I just knew that I didn't need to say more. My heart, my whole being was now in her hand and the funny thing is... she doesn't know that.

After dancing for a while, Taeyeon disappeared from my sight. I looked around but didn't find her. Then I felt arms around my waist, my body shock. I got scared to my stomach, and I started to shake. I wanted to scream but my voice disappeared and before my body collapse, I heard her shaky voice pleading

"Please don't let me go..." I felt her hand moving to my hand. I was about to look at her...

"Tiffany" Jo yelled, and I looked at him first instead, and by the time I turned my gaze to her, I felt her being pulled hard away. And my hand flew in the air, she disappeared in the dark.

"Hey Tiffany come I want to show you something" Jo turned me to look at him,

"No" I pushed him away "Someone took her" I ran in the way she was standing. She was holding to me!

I hit Kurt who held my shoulders stopping me, he smiled "Where are you running to?" He said then his smiled disappeared "Whats wrong? Why your face is pale?"

"Someone... took her, I...I... Kurt I felt her grip getting loose from my hand" I yelled while looking around, my heart racing, my legs shaking and I feel my fingers getting numb. My palms are sweating and my breath getting heavier.

"Taeyeon?" he asked turning my face to look at him.

"Yes" I pushed him away and continued looking, I'm scared. Suddenly my mind froze my body made my heart crush, "Bathroom!" I ran as fast as possible to the bathroom, and I saw her standing there the second I opened the door.

I took a couple of steps back when I saw whom she's with, I looked back at Kurt and Jo who just walked to the bathroom,

Taeyeon turned to look at Kurt "Hey Kurt look, I just realized that Diva's ass is big now, it's like magic" she pointed at the girl in front of her then laughed

"You are drunk Taeyeon" Kurt said with a serious tone. She's very drunk

"Whatever" Taeyeon turned to look at Diva who was standing beside the wall, "I remember what you told me back then, you said people compliment those who have nice ass and face, and that it's only some plastic surgery...but like is it worth it now? Like you spent a hundred thousand dollars for some compliments so let me give you one" she clapped her hands "Ha ha ha your ass looks amazing, you know what melanie martinez says 'If you want a little more confidence potatoes turn to french fries, yeah it's common sense'" Taeyeon said laughing "Oh my god am I being harsh?" she told her

"Since when you care about looks?" Diva said pissed off looking at her

"Well... you see I think since you left me for the wolves to eat me for dinner, since you throw me behind you and made me feel like I was begging for a dollar. No actually, you wanna now since when? Since I hit my foot on the ground and stood up to myself then I knew that in this life we live nobody, no damn body will love you if you're not attractive. That's when I started caring about 'looks'"

"Why are you doing this? Is it because of..."

"DON'T" Taeyeon yelled at her, Diva shock in her place. Taeyeon whole body stood up, that's the loudest her voice have ever been since I met her.

She walked to the model, I can hear her taking heavy, hard, deep breath then letting it go. She lift her index finger in front of the girl that if the wall wasn't behind her she would've took a hundred step back "Don't ever... say her name, don't ever think of mentioning...it"

Kurt walked to her "Time to go, come on" she held his arm and walked away.

Once again I am in the back seat of her car besides her while Kurt is driving and Jo beside him. She slowly moved close to me and laid her head on my legs. I stayed still without moving, letting her rest.

She lift her hand up and moved my hair behind my ear "Don't ever fall in love" she softly told me, "It will make you a fool, it will pick you up and throw you down." she nodded, she's so drunk "I know 'cause I've learned it, and it's a very bad decision to make" she bit her lower lip "I know lies now, and I know how it feels when love dies" she chuckled softly "Love tears up your heart, it leaves you with scars because, it cuts you. Love is just so bad. Love can't be written in a latter and that makes it so bad, if you can't write something then it's properly something very bad" she said before turning to the side, and turning herself back to the quiet Taeyeon.


	10. Chapter 10

I took deep breath waking up and it smells good. This perfume smells so good, I opened my eyes slowly and saw Taeyeon infront of me...shit. I looked around the room and this is not my my room...this is not my house. Oh my god, I looked at the girl sleeping beside me.

She was sleeping on her side and I can see her tatttoo clearly. Oh my now I remember what happened yesterday, I moved my body up and just sat still there looking at her then around the room. The room is so big but it's empty, with only closet on the left corner, the bed and two doors one infront of me and the other on my right, probably one of them is the bathroom. But why in the name of god I am in her bed...oh lord I can feel my facing heating up, I softly tapped on my face trying to stop it from blushing. I looked on my leftside and there is huge window, oh hold up this is the huge balcony, I'm in that mansion, means I'm in her house...

I glanced at Taeyeon quickly but this time her eyes were open. She's awake...and she caught my eyes

Her eyes were looking at me in a mad same time surprised way "What are you doing here?" she asked in a dead gravelly voice

"I don't know, where am I anyway?" I talked to her in the same tone she used with me.

She put the pillow on her face then mumbled "Technically my room"

"Technically?" I stood up and walked to the balcony.

She threw the pillow then moved her body to the edge of the bed, "Headache~" she whined, then kept turning from right to left all over the bed; doing all from stretching, to rubbing her head to whining. I looked at her, with her shirt half lift up and her hair messy all over her face.

She suddenly turned and looked at me "Why I remember talking about asses?" She asked and I couldn't help but laugh so hard. She moved her hair away then sat up "Really all I remember is me mentioning someone's ass, who was I talking about?"

I tried to suppress my laugh "Mmm... It was Diva"

She snorted, and a small grin flashed across her face, "I talked about Diva's ass? I swore that I won't talk about it" she stood up from the bed giving a small chuckle, briefly amused at what she did, before she walked to the bathroom.

I tried to fix my messy hair, and my yesterday clothes. I should head home... I took my bag and walked to the door.

"Hey..." Taeyeon popped her head out of the bathroom door, with her toothbrush in her mouth, "You should have breakfast with us, Kurt probably made pancakes" she invited me.

A smile from the bottom of my heart formed on my face "Thank you, but I have to go home. Yuri is probably looking for me and my phone is dead, she will kill me"

"Yuri your manger?" she asked, and before I answer, she said "Okay then bye" she put her head back in and closed the door.

I sigh, then walked out. I stood in the middle of the living room not knowing where to go.

"Morning" Kurt walked to me.

"Morning" I said back

"Wanna have breakfast with us?" he pointed to the right, I believe that's where the kitchen is

"I really can't I have to go somewhere"

"Okay" he locked his arm with mine "From here" he said walking me, "I'm gonna let you pass breakfast but you have to come to dinner later, I wont take any type of no" he said showing me the way out

"Okay, see you at dinner"

"See you at dinner" he let my arm "Ah by the way they brought your car here"

"Thank you"

I walked out to my car. I put my phone on charge when I turned the car on, and there they come Yuri's missed calls.

[Going to the pediatrician,] I sent her a message then turned my phone off again.

I drove to the pediatric hospital, I like to call it children's hospital. I parked the car when I arrived and I just took a second to admire how beautifully, magically this hospital is built. I feel calmness, it's just like everything feels right, even through there are alot of kids that are going through hell in there. However this hospital makes everyone feel happy even if they have just couple of days to live, it's magical. How all the walls are made of glass, and how the colors of the walls and the colors of the furniture inside are shining out side. How the the cartoons statues are all over the floor and the entrance of the hospital. My favorite part is the children drawings all over the hospital garden. How they let children draw and color wherever they want makes the whole place look extra beautiful. The whole hospital is like coming out from a Disney movie, it's like willy wonka factory.

I walked out the car to the hospital.

"Morning~" nurses there came to me

"Morning ladies"

The reception lady came to me "Charity work, should I call the CEO?"

"No, no I'm just here to visit" I told her

"Okay take your time" she said then went to her place

"She's awake you want to go to her?" one of the nurses asked

"Yes please"

I walked with her and as we walked closer to the room, the air was changing. It's more cleaner here, but it's more depressed. Feels like the last hope every kid in this section have is disappearing and vanishing in the air around every colored wall and every happy smiling draw, picture and statue.

"Here" she stood infront of the rainbow door, I thanked her then she walked away. The place was not familiar to me. I took a deep breath before opening the door.

I walked in "Hi" , she lift her body up to sit, and I ran to her, "Here... slowly" I helped her up.

"Hey...you came early today" she looked at me while I put my bag aside then sat beside her

"Yeah, a lot of things happened yesterday; made me think of you"

"Glad you think of me from time to time in real life" she held hand

"Ay this is real, you are in life just like everyone else" I moved my hand to her and fixed the cute blue scarf covering her head.

She nodded amiling.

"So I noticed they moved you here"

She shifted in her bed "Yeah...but I hate how they lie to me, like I know why I'm here...I'm only 13 but you don't have to lie to me" she said with sadness in her voice.

I moved close to her "What do you mean, maybe they moved here because here is better. It's sweater here also pretty cute, I mean the colors here and the drawings, pretty beautiful"

"Yeah and pretty deadly" she licked her bottom lip "I am in Stage III now, that's why I'm here. The tumor have grown very large and invaded other organs near my lungs. I heard them saying that I'm close to entering Stage IV where the cancer will spread beyond my affected lung to the other lung or to distant areas of my body..." she started coughing, slowly. She held the napkin besides her and started coughing harder.

I stood immediately "Hey...hey easy..." she removed the napkin to breath, and it was full of blood. She breathed heavily. I got scared not knowing what to do, I looked around for the nurse calling button beside the bed.

She held my hand "No need this is something normal" she smiled and I can see her mouth full of blood. "This happens all the time, if you called the nurse she will come help me clean my mouth then she will put the oxygen mask and tell me to breathe from it" she threw the napkin in the trash can beaides her, which was full of other napkin that were covered with blood too. "And honestly I don't like that mask" she giggled while catching her breath.

"Move aside" I told her, "I want to sit beside you" she looked at me and smiled so wide

"Really?" she barely was able to move little bit but it was enough, her body is small and so thin, cancer is taking all over her... I laid beside her and she put her head on my shoulder. I moved my arm behind her and held her close.

When she felt comfortable, and warm she continued "Anyway as I told you before when they did surgery they removed a varying amount of my lung. Now they will have to do another surgery, and probably they will have to remove another section of my lung, one of the lobes, or the entire lung may be removed during surgery, depending on the severity of the case and my case is very bad" she laughed then started coughing again, she took another napkin from the table beside her bed and put it on her mouth so the blood won't spread everywhere, she swallowed her saliva then continued "Lymph nodes from around the site will also be removed to determine if the disease has spread"

I felt like someone stabbed me right in my heart, I looked at her and how strong she is...she's just a child this is unfair life is unfair...I hugged her a little bit tight but not too tight so I won't hurt her.

She looked up to me "Don't be sad, I'm not scared. I feel better I don't know how but I am...I think it's because everyone around me is strong so you give me the power" she said tapping on my hand.

"Enough of the sad stuff I don't like to see you sad, so tell me about you" she moved her body away to look at me "I like how talking about her makes you happy" she smirked

I looked at her "You like me when I talk about her don't you? How much do you love her?" I played with her cheeks

"I like her and you the same." she told me holding my hand

"I guess I can accept me and her on the same level since she is your childhood role model. One day I'll force her to come here and meet you" I said chuckling.

"So tell me about Taeyeon, how did the photoshoot went? Is she still treating you bad? Did you ask her to date you, oh oh oh did you two kiss" she coverd her face blushing, making me blush too. She moved her fingers and looked at me.

I side eyed her, "I won't talk"

"Sorry sorry, tell me please" she put my hand between hers "Please~"

"Okay, I will" I kissed her little hand "You know I can't not tell you"

She nodded smiling, and crossed her legs and looked at me, waiting for me to start talking. "Well I don't know where I should start...we finished the photoshoot everything went fine...oh guess what?"

"What?" she opened her eyes wide, and I wanted to laugh so hard.

"I realized that she has a tattoo, and guess what the Tattoo is?"

"What~?" she moved closer with her eyes still wide open. Her expressions are the best, she's full of life.

"Serenity..."

"Oh my god, just like..." she put her hands on her mouth

"Exactly, anyway we also had lunch together."

"How was it?"

"It was amazing, I saw the best of her with me ever, but then later in the day her ex showed up and destroyed her mood and the day too"

"What did you tell me her ex name is?"

"Diva" I said rolling my eyes

"She's a bitch"

I looked at her surprised "No swearing" I yelled

She put her hand on her mouth "Sorry,"

I shock my head giggle, and she laughed.

"Tell me more about the lunch" she said laying her head on my lap...

"Umm that time...I don't know what to tell you"

"Everything" she said making me laugh

"You know that day I felt her slowly caring, like the way she gave me attention, but it felt like... I don't know different, or maybe it was only because I'm slowly getting attached to her, and I have never felt this way my whole life and it's probably one sided and she probably can't see what my eyes are saying, or when she stands beside me in the photoshoot how I tremble in front of her or in her arms, even though she says nothing and most of the time she's silent, but my heart keeps listening to her. I hate that I'm feeling like I'm beginning to fall for her, so fast and easly. I hate how when I see her I stutter, or how I alway get bound by her eyes and I end up falling for them and I'm scared that in the upcoming days my love for her will grow more and I'd want her to be around me all the time." I took a deep breath then I realized that I said all that to a child...how I always end up telling this kid everything...even the things she shouldn't know. I looked down at her and she was smiling so hard, like the smile is taking all over her face.

"I like love stories"

I smiled with tears in my eyes "One day you will have yours and you will come to tell me about it" I suddenly felt bad because she might never have one.

"I don't need one, because I already have a story. However I like yours more"


	11. Chapter 11

I called Yuri after I walked out of the hospital.

Yuri - Girl can you not scare me like that again? I couldn't sleep because of you my god... If Jo didn't call I would've called the police for god sake.

Me - I'm sorry I fell asleep after partying... then my phone died

Yuri - It's all fine now, are you coming home.

Me - Yeah I'm coming now, I need to take a shower and change but I'm leaving later, Kurt asked me to have dinner with them.

Yuri - Okay then I'll be waiting for you, drive safely.

I walked in home and Yuri jumped in front of me "I have great news for you, amazing news actually..." she took my bag and walked me to sit on the sofa. "Vogue magazine..." she said smiling

"No~" I don't believe her

"Yes, they want you to be the front cover for their next month issue," she stood up pouring glass of water for me "However...there's something"

"Whatever it takes..." I told her, then took the glass from her hand

She smiled "Your cutey pie is with you"

I choked while taking a sip of water "Taeyeon?" I said coughing

"Like you have another cutey" she said hitting my back softly

"Why they want us together?"

"Well I guess they saw you together in that GA photoshoot and they liked both of you" she said

"But the photos are still not out, they will be released next week" I walked to my room

"Maybe they saw demo or leaked picture, who knows" she followed

"Maybe...do you think she knows? Do you think she will say yes" I took out clothes to wear for dinner

"She probably does. Well it's pretty much an opportunity that no one can say no to" she helped me take clean towels from the high drawer in the closet. She's way taller than me.

"Yeah but that Kim Taeyeon...anyway I'll take a quick shower, I don't want to be late" I said walking to the bathroom.

"Of course" she rolled her eyes chuckling, then walked out.

Kurt opened the door for me "Damn you are on fire" he pulled me for a hug then broke it to look at me, he turned me around then let me enter the house "Girl, that white shorts with the bordo blouse" he moved close to me "Did you know that bordo is Taeyeon's favorite color" he whispered then turned me and softly pushed me from behind all the way to the kitchen.

"Damn I forgot about you" he turned the heat under the food "I'm almost done, Jo is on his way" he said fixing the table, putting the plates, and the spoons,

"Let me help" I walked to him

"No, you go get Taeyeon, she's been in her room since the morning, she didn't eat anything at all"

"Me...? You go" I took the wine glasses from him and put them on the table

"Nah you" he held my arm and walked me

"You are closer to her than me" I said trying to run

He laughed "But she hates when men enter her room,"

I stood infront of her door, I knocked couple of time. "She's not gonna answer," he opened the door and pushed me in. I heard his laugh after he closed the door.

I stood still, looking around and she's not here, the bed was fixed and the curtains are closed. "Taeyeon" I called

"You back" she walked out of the bathroom, with towal around her body; I immediately looked away.

"Kurt let me in, he said to call you, the dinner is almost ready" I couldn't not steal glance at her, she was standing infront of her closet with her back to me. She put the towal a bit down and started wearing her bra. I looked away again, breathing in and out...you've seen her like this before nothing to blush for...she stood infront of you naked before, you saw everything there, relaxe.

"Why are you standing there, nobody's punishing you" she put her clothes on the bed then tapped beside them "Come sit" she told me then walked to her closet again. I walked to her bed and sat on the edge.

"So we are doing another photoshoot together" she said looking through the left side of the closet where all her shoes boxs are put together in order.

"They called you? Did you agree?" I asked looking at her.

She took a box out then looked inside it "I did, did you?" she walked to the bed and put the shoe box down

"Of course I did"

She moved close to me, and my body took an inch back "Won't blow it up this time?" she said, there she goes annoying me again.

She took her leather pants then looked at me and chuckled "I'm just kidding" she said and started wearing it

"Ha ha funny" I looked away... her legs are damnnn so perfectly formed.

"We will do a perfect job" she took the blue galaxe hoodie and wore it, "Two goddesses at the end, right?" she took her shoes, moved her head to the left "Let's go"

She walked to the door and opened it for me, I passed in front of her and she looked at me then said "Color suits you" before she walk behind me. I was surprised but not that surprised, she did it before...first day of the photoshoot she held the door for me without even knowing me, but her complement made me amazed by her

We walked to the kitchen, and Kurt was already putting the food on the table.

"Jo didn't come yet?" I sat on the table chair.

"Not yet" Kurt said then looked at Taeyeon, "Going somewhere?" he asked her

She nodded taking an apple from the apple's basket in the refrigerator, "I think your husband doesn't like me" she sat on the chair beside me, "He's your friend, right?" she asked me

"Yeah, but he said he likes" as far as I know he's not that fond of her

Kurt put the last meal on the table "He better..." he sat down "Or the wedding will be cancelled, I can't marry someone who doesn't like you" he said giggling

Taeyeon put the apple down after taking couple of bits "No~" she stood up and walked to the drawer beside the sink "Don't say that or he will hate me more" she opened it and took a spoon.

"Ay you don't say that, he doesn't hate you" I said and Kurt nodded agreeing with me.

She looked at me and smirked, then she put her index and middle fingers in front of her eyes "I can see it in his eyes, I'm pretty good at catching who hate me" she scooped a spoon from the sauce, and put it in her mouth. "This is good, you are getting better" she told Kurt, then walked to sink to clean the spoon.

Kurt looked at me "She was my cooking teacher" he said and she giggled. We heard the doorbell. "That's probably Jo" he said standing up

"I will open" Taeyeon dried her hands "See how his mood will change when he sees me" she walked out to get the door.

"She's just like that...like always," he said "But she always right, if she said someone hate her, we always end up finding out that that someone really hate her."

"Jo is just jealous, that's all" I told him

He shook his head "I have no idea why..."

Taeyeon walked back to the kitchen and looked at Kurt "I can't do this anymore...I just really can't, I'm tired" she said with tears on the edge of her eyes.

Kurt stood up "What's wrong" he walked to her, but she only took her shoes and walked out. Kurt and I followed her out.

Diva was holding Taeyeons arms stopping her from walking out, "Look at me" she kept saying but Taeyeon was looking away.

Kurt ran to her "Let go" he said taking her hands away from Taeyeon.

"Let's at least talk" Diva said looking at her from behind Kurt's body.

"There's nothing to talk about with her" Kurt gently dragged her to the door way

"Please Yeon, please let's talk. Please" she begged

"Talk?" Taeyeon said then put her shoes down "Okay let's talk, let's talk first about the way you left me the first time... You left me with a text, do you know how painful is that? Let's talk about how I had to stay as far away from you as possible even when I was dying to see you, because I know that if we saw each other, will leads to loving again, and then leads to fucking and that leads to me getting hurt at the end, because I'm never going to be the first for you, I'm always going to be the one that will destroy your career."

"I loved you, and I still love you" she pushed Kurt aside and rushed close to hold Taeyeon's hand

"You keep saying that you love me, but If you really love me, why did you treat me like that? Why did you leave me like that? Why did you go around and talked horrible things about me behind my back? Love don't do things like that"

"Not this again..." She let Taeyeon's hand, "I told you I had to do it, I can't be out and proud, I can't risk it all and you know that. All I wanted was for you to stay beside me. I had the best moment of my life with you, in our house. We had it all, you kept forcing things to go out, all I asked from you was to hide our feelings when we are outside,"

Taeyeon stood away from her "Oh you have no idea how many times I hid things with my eyes. I kept my tears and pain longing inside with silent, and acted like there was nothing. I tried to heal you while my own heart was bleeding ignoring things like I didn't see you flitting with every guy in front of me, or seeing news of you dating this and that."

Diva walked to her again and moved her hands up to hold Taeyeon's face "But you had me, you had all of me"

"Yeah I had all of you, also the men you slept with while you were with me, had all of you too." Taeyeon pushed her hands away "You were satisfied with my pain, You were fine with me suffering and if you were here to make me come back then I just want to tell you my love that the wound from the past is still hurting me, and just because I don't complain to everyone, doesn't mean that I'm not in pain and if you don't see me crying, it is only because there are no more tears left in me thanks to you. Your love destroyed me, your love made me lose myself and everything I love. I've talked to you and complained so much, but you never listened. Even the pain inside of me, you didn't hear it, you didn't feel it. So just leave me I'm tired." Taeyeon turned to leave but Diva held her, and the blonde stopped. I can see her fighting herself not to turn and look at her.

"Taeyeon please, please look at me. I regret everything I did to you and...her" she said and Taeyeon's body tensed up "You don't want me to mention her name, I won't I promise...but I want you to know that I'm regretful and I wish every day that I didn't do all the shit I did. I wish every single day that she is still with us, alive, around us so I can show her my love" Taeyeon snatched her arm from her grip.

"Enough" she said

When Diva heard the softness in her voice she continued "Please Taeyeon you are tired, I'm tired. I feel scared in this world without you. I feel like I'm losing everything." she begged with a sad, tired, victim tone with her head tilted and her hands still up to hold Taeyeon's hand.

Taeyeon let out a sardonic laugh, then turned to her " You are feeling regretful now? Scared? Well you didn't see any thing yet... all this is nothing. You are tired? Really you feel like you're losing everything? Perfect because now, you lost me too. Now you are in my position, it's my turn now. Keep feeling the distance, because we won't ever get together again and I cross my heart for that." Diva body straightened, her eyes moving all Taeyeon's face.

She started taking steps back as Taeyeon started moving towards her with her index finger pointing at her, "I draw a smile on your face, you drew tears on mine. I made you laugh, you made my life hell. When i left you you didn't care about me, week after week you started caring less." Taeyeon suddenly turned to my side, she pointed her thumb at me but she kept looking at Diva. She nodded couple of time before she yelled at her "I ASKED HER IF I GIVE HER A FLOWER WILL SHE LET IT DIE OR LET IT GROW... She said she will let it grow, because with her it will die" she put her hand down "Do you remember what you told me?" Diva stayed quiet "You told me to pick the growing flower from the garden and give it to you...and that's just so you, exactly you"

Taeyeon looked at her from head to toe, the same way Diva looks at most people. She then said "You don't get to feel tired, you dont get to forget and be forgiven. If I saw you burning in front of me and I had a glass of water in my hand, I'd drink it and watch you burn" Taeyeon moved her hand up and slightly pushed Diva out of her way, "Don't ever show your face up here again, or I'll kill" she took her shoe and the car keys "Literally..." she stated then walked out of the house.


	12. Chapter 12

I sat on the table, with my hand under my chin.

Kurt sat in front of me "I have no idea what's wrong with that girl, she just doesn't understand what disappear from Taeyeon's life means"

"Maybe she really feel regretful, and she wants to make it up for what she did" I said out of good thoughts

He shook his head "If I don't know her, I would've thought the same. That girl is like poison walking on earth. If she sees something is or feels good to her she will use it horribly to her benefits." he poured glass of wine for me and for him.

"If I may ask... who's that girl they were talking about? She's dead?" I took the glass from his hand.

He nodded "All I know is that she was so very close to Taeyeon," he smiled taking a sip of wine.

"She's the one she goes to vist at 9pm everyday?"

He tilted his head, questioning and surprised "Yeah"

I felt relieved that it's not 'lover' but I feel sad that she lost someone that is this close to her...

"You know, you are like an open book I can read you easly" Kurt said looking at me

"Sometimes I wish I could pull the mask she always put on, just to see the girl inside her and get close to her." words keep slipping out whenever someone talk to me about her

He rose his eyebrow, smiling then he put his glass down and moved his hand to me "You don't have to, if you pay closs attention to her words, smile and her eyes you will see the real her. She's always there she just have to put her bricks up" he pulled my hand to him then then moved his head close to me "You fancy her?" his words ring inside my head

"Who fancy whom?" Jo walked in. He stood beside me, putting his car keys and phone on the table.

I immediately stood up "Nobody" I said walking away from him. Kurt turned to look at me, he knows...he knows. Please lord don't let him say anything...

"Taeyeon" Kurt said, I looked at him shocked...Why bringing her into something she has no say in it?

"Taeyeon fancy someone" Kurt added

"Whom?" Jo asked surprised, then walked to sit beside his fiance

"I have no idea, I was asking Tiffany if she knows anything"

I walked to Kurt "I told you I don't know" I said

Jo looked at me "Then how did you know she fancy someone?"

"Good question" I pointed at Kurt then softly hit his back "Kurt told me, he thinks she likes someone"

Kurt looked at me and wanted to laugh so hard but he held it, "You should ask her next time you see her" he told Jo who looked not very much interested in doing that.

"Whoever they are, I'm happy for her" he said in a relieved tone...

I stepped in "We should eat before the food gets cold" I said to stop kurt from saying anything about it.

I decided to go back home after dinner.

I walked in and the house was quiet. I put my bag aside and took my heels off. I went straight to the sofa and laid down, I'm mentally and physically tired.

"Okay, sure...I'll tell her" Yuri walked out of her room talking on the phone then she saw me, "Oh hold up she's here... take talk to her" she put the phone in front of me, "Cutey pie wants to talk to you"

I rolled my eyes "Yuri please I'm tired, stop playing games" I turned to the side

"Seriously...it's Taeyeon" she said and I jumped from the sofa and took the phone,

Me - Hi...!

Taeyeon - Cutey pie...? (she chuckled)

Me - That's Yuri...she's always like that (I side eyed Yuri)

Taeyeon - At least she sounds like she likes me.

Me - Of course she does...

Taeyeon - Anyway... I called to ask if tomorrow you'd like to go to Vogue magazine meeting together?

Me - Yeah... why not, I'd like to...but I'm driving

Taeyeon - (she giggled) sure, so you'll pick me up?

Me - Yeah

Taeyeon - Okay...see you tomorrow

Me - See you...

Taeyeon - ...Have a goodnight

Me - You too

After she hang up; I said to the phone "Oh I'm going to have a very goodnight of not being able to sleep, because of you" I gave the phone to Yuri

"She still doesn't have your phone number...seriously girl what are you doing? Give her your number tomorrow" she walked back to her room and I went to mine.

I barely was able to sleep last night, and now I'm up early, and getting dressed after standing hours infront the closet fighting my mind what to wear...I ended up in a simple short rose dress but not very short

I walked out and Yuri was reading her newspapers "Going?"

"Yeah" I sat down to wear my white colored heels

Yuri put the news paper down "Someone is going to have heart attack today" she said looking at me "I mean Taeyeon if you didn't get the hint" she added smirking

"Stop" I cried, then stood up to fix my dress "I'm gonna be late, have to go"

She stood up with me "You will go to the pediatrician later?"

"Yeah"

"Eat something on the way don't starve to death" she said

"Okay I will bye bye now" I blew a kiss to her then ran out.

I called Kurt; when I arrived, to tell him that I'm outside because I don't have her number.

She walked out with Kurt, and my face turned red; remembering what happened yesterday...oh god he knows. Taeyeon walked to the other side and Kurt stood infront of my window.

"Hi beautiful" Kurt said looking at me and smiling.

I shook my head smirking "Hey Kurt"

"Can you just go back in...you know we are not kids dad" Taeyeon told him, then she put her seatbelt on.

"Okay, I just want to say good luck" he said moving away from the window, "And get each other's number for Gods sake" he yelled before going back to the house.

As we were getting close I started to get nervous more and more. I stopped on the red light, and looked at Taeyeon who was playing games on her phone...

I kind of yelled "Seriously?"

She turned her face to look at me with her eyes wide open, surprised

"How in the name of god are you not nervous?" I asked then moved my gaze to the road as I started driving again.

I felt her warm hand on mine "You don't have to be nervous...everything is going to be fine" she took her hand away, and I wanted to hold it back and put it on mine again. However how what she said is supposed to help?

We arrived to the place, and we walked in together.

"I love when models get together and on time" The lady that was standing infront of the door said, "From here please" we followed her.

She turned to us and introduced herself "My name is Anna but you don't have to worry about my name" she opened the door for us "Worry about him" she let us in then closed the door.

I looked at Taeyeon who looked at me, rolling her eyes and shaking her head.

"Hey ladies" I looked at them man who had a very grating voice.

"Dan..." Taeyeon said then walked to sit, she knows him?

"Miss Kim," he nodded then looked at me "Hi, I'm dan"

"Tiffany" I said then sat beside her.

"I worked with Ms. Kim before, but this is the first time with you" he told me excitedly

I looked at Taeyeon who was looking at him with disgusted look, and when he moved his gaze to her; she faked a smile.

He moved two papers to us "These are the contract" he put two more papers above them "And these are the them explanation in case you wanted to read instead of listening to me" he said looking at Taeyeon, who took her papers and started to read them.

He looked back at me "Our team decided to go with the concept of Apricity. It is a Latin word which means the warmth of the sun in the winter"

"Ohh that's the best feeling ever" I looked at Taeyeon but she wasn't listening.

"I know right that's why our team will book a resort on snowy mountain. The whole place will be ours and we will start when the sunrises till the warmth of the sun disappears aka sunset" he ended his words then rested his back on the chair. I like the idea.

"No" Taeyeon moved the papers back to him. She locked her fingers then looked at me with her eyebrows lift up, questioning me why I looked at her

"Why, the idea is lovely" I said

"Read" she pointed at the papers, then looked at Dan, who took a deep breath and took the papers to look at them.

"You are repeating the same thing you did last time" she pointed to me at the second point of the third paragraph in the papers, and 'with a male model' is written. She shook her head "I'm not doing it again"

He put the papers down "But the cover we did with you was magnificent we sold millions"

She drew her hand into her hair and ruffled it "It was horrible, this triangle shit you do, I don't like it.Either it's me and her or her and him."

"Why all of a sudden, you agreed last time"

"First of all that was last time, not this time. Second, I tried it and saw the results. The whole photoshoot was awful. Moreover all that shit we had to go through me and the other model we were just like accessories for him" she shook her head "I'm not doing that again, we are more than that."

Dan looked at me and I looked at Taeyeon who was looking at me.

She moved close to me and whispered "I know that this is important to you so please don't mind me, you are free to make your own choice. With or without me it's you at the end that's the most important" I looked at her while she moved back to her seat.

"No I agree with you" I looked at Dan. "I want it to be me and her only. We've worked together before, It will be easy for me with her. Also I will be more comfortable"

She looked at me and mumbled "You sure?" I nodded to her. "There you go...choose both of us or we just end it here" Taeyeon said

I started to get nervous and stressed...what if he says walk out we don't need you, we can get another models...shit but I need that. Taeyeon moved her hand under the table and put it on my knee, then softly she tapped her index finger on it. I glanced at her, and she was looking at him with her head tilted waiting for his answer. I moved both of my hands and held hers... she turned her hand and opened her palm for me to interlock our fingers. I did it and my heart started beating fast but in calm way. My mind relaxed and I felt like her confidence was transporting from her to me.

He stood up "You know if I didn't see both of your works I would've said no to your attitude" he said lifting his hand up "Okay, I'll talk to my team and change the contracts"

Taeyeon looked at me and smiled, she pointed at him telling me to shake his hand first. I stood up and did, Taeyeon followed.

"I'll make sure my assistant send you the new contract, thank you ladies" he said walking us out

"How do you that?" I asked, walking behind her to the car "How can you have this extreme confident to throw a job on the line like that"

She turned and stood infront of me "You have a big name...you don't need them they need you. You are not a rookie, not new in this game ... you have to stand for what what you want and for what makes you comfortable or they will push you down and stand on you. If you keep saying yes to what they put on the table for you just because you need it and it's important for you, they will turn you to their personal poppet, where they will make you do what they want and you will only say yes without realizing that things are going out of control and now they are only using you" she walked to me and put her hand on my shoulder "You do you no matter what...you first, you second and you third then you can put someone/something else" and before she go to the car she said "Have the worst attitude, fuck people opinion and let your work define you"

I followed her "But bad attitude is annoying sometimes"

"Bad attitude is only seen by those who deserves it"


	13. Chapter 13

Yuri called after I turned the car on,

Yuri - Tiffany comeback home after you finish, it's very important...you'll go to the pediatrician tomorrow

Me - Why? What's wrong?

Yuri - You have a very important guest...don't be late

Me - Okay half hour and I'll be there

Yuri - Take care.

I put the phone down and Taeyeon asked "Everything okay?"

"Yeah" I turned the car on, "Would you like to come home with me? I have to meet someone...maybe later we can have lunch"

She looked at me "Sure" she put her seatbelt "I don't have anything to do anyway and I'd love to meet Yuri"

I started driving and as we were getting closer to my house; Taeyeon's phone rang, "Yes?" she answered, "I won't get angry just talk" her voice turned flat, "Beg your pardon? I didn't sign for that...no you are not allowed to, unless I say so...I don't care...I didn't sign it and I won't...you know what I'm coming" she looked at me "Please can you stop here" she pointed to the side road. I stopped the car there. "Second" she said on the phone then put her hand on my shoulder "Sorry, I have to go"

"It's fine" I smiled, even though I feel sad.

"Will have lunch together next time" she said and I nodded. She moved her hand away then opened the door "Yes continue" she said on the phone and before she walk out, I held her hand; she turned and looked at me surprised. I took out a pin and wrote my number on her hand, she looked at it and smiled "I'll call..." she mumbled then walked out.

I looked at her till she walked far away for my eyes to still be able to see her. I drove back home and as soon as I put the key in the door, Yuri opened it for me.

"Come in" she said smiling

"I hope it's important" I said walking in

"It is..." said a very manly orotund voice, I looked at him and it was a very famous programs director.

"Oh my god" I walked to him

"It's been ages I know" he shook my hand, "How have you been?"

I sat down infront him "Fine, how...how did you find me?"

"I called Yuri and she answered like finally, then she told me to come me here"

I looked at Yuri and wanted to ask her what happened to not let anyone know where I live?

"I'm glad to see you again" I told him

"First, I know it's been awhile, and I wasn't able back then to come and tell you that but I really want to give you my deepest condolences, It must've been hard for you," I wanted to shut him up, like just scream in his face... close your mouth for god sake.

Yuri cut the line "Anyway tell her what you told me" she said

He smiled "Yes, I want you to be the main guest for my program...running man" he stated

"What?" I said surprise

"I want you to be the main them for the next episode" he said "I came here in person...I've never done that before, just for you I want you to know that I really want you to be in the next episode"

"Yeah of course I'd love to, that would be an honor for me"

He excitedly jumped in his place and clapped his hands "Yes," he happily looked at Yuri who gave him thumbs up. "Oh god I can't wait to work with you again, this episode will destroy numbers and get high viewers" he stood up

"You are still all up about the viewers" I stood up with him

"That's the entertainment field, no viewers no work, no work, no money and then no life" He walked to me and hugged me "I'll see you tomorrow in the company to talk about it?"

"Yeah of coure see you tomorrow" I said and walked him out.

When I closed the door, I looked back at Yuri and she wasn't there. "Yuri" I yelled and walked to her room. "Come out"

"I'm not gay to come out" she shouted

"I will kick you" I knocked on the door,

She opened the door "Don't hit me" she said and stood infront of me "I saw it as a good opportunity and he's been calling me for ages, so I was like girl take it" she said, and I just forgave her because she right.

"But like bringing him home? Him?" I walked back to the living room and she followed

"He said that it must be private so fans and won't know, home with me is the best" she said,

"Fine"

The next day I went with Yuri to the Running Man company and they welcomed us then we went to the meeting, with rest of the PDs.

"This part will be recorded?" one of the staff told us before we walk to the room

I greeted all of them when I walked in and they greeted us back. I sat infront of them and Yuri sat aside.

"Next Running Man episode is going to be about you and it's called 'Queen of spade'" he said and my face formed a smile. "The Queen of Spades position, sitting in the middle of the crown line in the master spirit script. It is the most powerful card in the deck, contributes to her ability to make plans and do her work on her own without needing anybody or any permission. She shines and is noticed for her superior talents and gifts; thats why she's the mother of all cards. However in the game of hearts, she's really powerful, she's worth 13 points, which makes all the players not want to get her or have her in their cards."

I nodded,

"For you to win...you must lose. This is your mission...no matter what you have to do you must make yourself lose, in the same time you have to make sure that nobody notice that you are losing on purpose"

"Lose?" I asked surprised

"Yes lose, every time you lose you will get a hint about where you can find the 12 Ace of spade cards in the name tag area. The Ace of spade is the highest card in the cards deck, higher than the Queen of spade. When you find all of them you will have the ability to put an Ace in the members name tags. The staff will do that every time a name tag is ripped off." he said, and it sounds so hard but like makes me feel powerful "At the end the members name tags will be ripped if you were able to find all the Aces then you will be able to make the 12 members higher than you so they will all lose and you will win"

The other PD started talking "However, your name tag must not be ripped in the middle of the game because the letter Q will be under it, so your partner must protect you; if you were found the game will be over. You also should know that every time the other teames win they will get a hint about who's the Queen of spade and if they lose they wont get anything. The other teams mission will be to find the Queen and to find cards that worth as Jack or less so they will not be as worth as you. As we said if you lose you will get hints of where you will find the Aces. However if you win your partner will get hints of where they can find the cards from jack and down. Make sure to choose the right partner and be careful they must never know that you are the Queen, and you can't tell your partner that you are"

"That is going to be so hard" I put my head down on the table.

The main program director stood up "That's why you will get a hints of what the next mission is going to be so you will have one step ahead to lose," he said

"Yes, that's a very good one" I lift my head up

"It is however you should remember that you will have a partner and they will try to win so bad" he reminded me,

"I forgot" I put my head down again and they all giggled

"Here's your first hint" he said then the other PD said "Tomorrow at 8 am a member of Running man will come to your house and they will enter you room and try to take your phone"

"8 am my house? That's so early" It wasn't about waking up early I was scared that they will come to my house...

"Yes, make sure to wake up when they do. If they win or lose they won't get anything, however if you win you will get your first hint" he ended his explanation "All good?"

"Yeah"

"Good then tomorrow is your day" he said and they all stood up to walk us out.

Yuri stopped me and said "I'm sorry I put you through all that"

I shook my head "No...so what if they came to our house it's fine, it's about time" I said, and she looked at me unconvinced "Really I mean it...don't worry, also I'm the Queen of spade now" I chuckled then she just hugged me.

Yuri walked to my room "Hey don't forget to put an Alarm at 8am tomorrow, so you'll be able to wake up." She reminded me

"Yup I already did" I said then held my phone to make sure,

She walked to me, and started chanting "You have to get the hints girl you have to win, Tiffany, Tiffany, Tiffany"

I laughed so hard, "Stop"

"You will do amazing job tomorrow, I will be proud watching you and fangirling a little bit" she said "Now go to sleep, you must have alot of energy"

Before she leaves, I said shyly "I gave the cutey pie my number" I turned to the side to sleep, I heard her giggling then she closed the light for me

"Goodnight"

My dreams are filled with her, she's everywhere...and I can smell her woody, flowery perfume, that's all so pleasant, I'm not complaining... I don't want to leave but suddenly my mind decided it's time to wake, I hate it...no let me stay a bit more...my brain forced my eyes to open and I saw her above me...I started giggling...lord my heart wants her to be everywhere and now its imagining her in reality.

Taeyeon rose her eyebrows amazed, and a cute bright smile shined on her face. Her eyes sparkled in mine and I wanted to pull her down and hug her so tight, but my alarm rang and my heart stopped...that's real...she's real...and she's here, above me. A feeling of euphoric rushed through my veins. I felt my body is about to go in shock. She took over me to the point butterflies are turning to anxiety now

"Who puts alarm at 8am in weekend" she cried then laid down beside me. I can feel my heart beating out of my chest... I can't handle it.

"You lost~" I heard a man saying then another one said "Cut~"

I felt Taeyeon rolling close to me "Morning" she said and I was scared to turn and see her. I rubbed my face softly then looked at her

"Morning" I said and immediately pulled my body up. Yuri came to me and gave me down hi5 so Taeyeon won't see it. I turned to look at her and she was rolling out of the bed then stood beside the PD.

"What is she doing here?" I whispered to Yuri

"We will be waiting outside, take your time" The PD said then walked out and Taeyeon followed.

"Apparently she's also one of the guests" Yuri said helping me up, "That girl group Mamamoo are guests too"

"Makes them 12 right?" I walked to the bathroom

Yuri stood infront of the door "Yeah 7 members of running man and 5 guests with you 13 same as the spade cards"

I walked out after I finished taking a shower, "So who's outside now?" I asked and went to wear the clothes Yuri took out for me.

"Your cutey pie, three members of RM, PD, and two camera man rest are in the girl group house, doing exactly the same they did here"

I sat in the van beside Taeyeon, Yuri in the back and the camera man infront of us. They were still not filming so I looked at Taeyeon, "You didn't tell me we are in it together again" I said and she giggled

"You remember when yesterday I got a phone call? Yeah that was them" she said

"Really?"

"I didn't want to do it, but then I heard you are coming so I thought why not... being in another thing with you again is fun" she said and that made me genuinely so happy.

"Okay we will start filming now" The VJ said when we arrived to the set,

We walked out and they were waiting for us, "Oh It's Tiffany and Taeyeon" The MC, I believe his name is Jae-suk said and they all clapped then greeted us. We stood between the Running man members and Mamamoo's girls.

"Both of you are models and you two worked together before right?" The MC asked and we nodded, "When is the release of the photoshoot you did?"

Taeyeon looked at me, I think I should answer that "After tomorrow," I said

"Make sure to get yours" he said pointing to the camera, then the other guy beside him (As Yuri told me his name is Ji Suk-jin) he popped up and asked "Is there any other project you two will work on it together?"

I looked at Taeyeon and she didn't seem like she wanted to answer so I said, "Yeah there's another photoshoot coming, but we didn't shoot it yet" I answered,

And the only girl between them; Song Ji-hyo said "Of course everyone will want you to work together, you two look amazing,"

The MC continued after her "Right even our PDs wanted you two to come together in the same episode"

Taeyeon slightly bowed her head down "Thank you" she said and I thanked them too.

After all he interdiction and talk, we stood in half circle; the running man members on the left and the guests on the righ. It was me, Taeyeon and Mamamoo's members. They decided as the script saying to split teams and make the ladies guests choose their partners by giving a flower to the member of running man they want.

They gave us flowers; I held mine then looked at Taeyeon remembering the flower she made for me that day.

"It's this close to dying" she said showing her flower to me "This is so homophobic of them" she said in a fruity voice and I laughed at her, "Funny huh?" she shook her head.

"You guys ready?" The PD asked, we all said yes. Cameras begin rolling and the MC started making jokes and members were fighting each other making everyone laugh like they always do. I looked at Taeyeon and she was looking at her dead flower.

"Sad?" I whispered to her, she looked at me and smiled

"Thinking" she mumbled

"I want Tiffany to choose me" I turned to look at the tall guy who then added "I'll give you my heart if you give me your flower" I looked at him surprised, then the MC hit the back of his head and told him to watch his line.

"But that's a good one" Taeyeon looked at me giggling

"See Taeyeon liked it" Kwang-soo yelled at the MC.

"Okay then Taeyeon you start first..." Jae-suk said and she chuckled "Come on go ahead choose who you want, then choose someone else to pick after you"

I looked at her as she walked to them, I wonder what's her type in men. She looked at each and everyone of them, she shrugged and said "Nah" then turned and walked to me..."Will you be my partner?" she put the flower infront of me

Wait...what? That surprised me yet I felt all ecstatic, I got so happy that I didn't even realize I was smiling in thin air, where every single one in the room from the staff to the PDs, members and guests were looking at us, surprised. Butterflies went crazy in my stomach. My mind started to analysis like a machine to make a decision. I looked at her so smiley and I couldn't say anything but "Yes, of course" I took her flower and put it with mine.

She nodded her head happily then stood beside me, "I choose Ms. Solar after me" she said then looked at me and smiled. I looked away blushing.

The male members looked at each other then at the PDs who said "She's allowed to do that" he pointed for the cameras to continue rolling, they did and I felt like I own this world. I felt like I already won this episode.

After everyone chose their partner. They stopped for a break and for us to change to our teams colors. Yuri came and pulled me away from Taeyeon

She put her hands on my shoulders and whispered "She chose you~"

"I know" I held her hand and put it on my heart "It's still beating so fast"

"I felt you girl, I was this close to scream" she fixed my hair "Now go change" she turned me and hit my butt.

I walked to her and she was sitting on the chair, resting her head on the chair back looking at the other teams, looking for a color between the many colored shirts on the table. "Hey did you choose a color?" I stood beside her.

She left her head up and rested her chin on her hand, "No, waiting for you...you choose" she stood up to walk with me to the tables. "Which color?" she asked

"Pink!" I said and she looked at me with 'Ew' look.

"Here" one of Mamamoo's member gave us the pink shirts, "And the shoes are inside the dressing room" she added with a wide smile on her face.

I smiled back and took the shirts "Thank you" I told her and she said it's no problem then walked away.

"Pink it is" she said and we walked to the ladies changing room. Taeyeon put her backpack on the long seat then took her shirt off and put it in the locker. Everyone in the room looked at her, I was looing at her mesmerized; she turned and looked at me, "Come on we've seen each other like this before nothing new, come on change" she said taking the pink shirt to wear it.

I did but they didn't, I know they will later but...God I sound so jealous even inside my head.

"I will go get the shoes" she said after putting the shirt on, I nodded and she walked away.

I changed my shirt, and she came back, she put my shoes down and sat down to wear hers. I sat beside her and wore mine. She turned to me and said "Let me do that for you" she leand down and did my shoes. I bit my lower lip looking at her. She lift her body up after she finished "We have to win today" She excitedly said

...shit...I totally forgot that I'm the Queen of spade and that she's my partner...shit...


	14. Chapter 14

After we finished dressing, Yuri called me aside to talk in the changing room, and Taeyeon took her phone out to play her games

"The PD told me to give you this, he said this is your first hint" Yuri gave me an envelope,

"You open it" I pushed it back to her,

Yuri opened the envelope then said "Okay first Ace card is inside your partner locker, second one is..." she looked at me with the damn face expression "In your partner name tag" she told me then ripped the envelope.

"The locker one is easy but the name tag" Yuri said, I looked at Taeyeon

"Leave it on me I'll find a way"

I walked back to the blonde "Can I put my clothes in your locker ?" I asked

"Yeah of course" She said while her mind is still in the game, I went to her locker and opened it. I looked around and found the Ace under the shelf; I took it, put my clothes inside then closed it.

The staff called us out and we went to where the meeting is taking a place

They didn't start filming yet; when I walked side to side with Taeyeon. Everyone was talking to each other and as we stepped in between all the members the MC walked to us "Everything is going fine?" he asked all smile

"Yeah, everything is perfect" I said and Taeyeon just nodded

"Miss Taeyeon is very quiet, just like her name" he said and she let out a very dry giggle

"Okay everyone in their place" the PD said and we all went to the same form we were standing at in the begining

"Today's episode theme is called Queen of spade. The 13 of you resemble the 13 cards of the spade. One of you is the Queen...and you have to find who they are. Every time your team win a challenge you will get a hint that will help you find the Queen."

"Right now one of us is the Queen? Do they know that they are?"Asked the MC

"What about their partners?" the masculine guy added

"Yes they do know they are the Queen, and no their partners don't know" the PD said and they all looked at each other, here comes the trust issues...

"Are you the Queen?" Taeyeom whispered to me, no no she can't know... I can't let her sense it...she's good in reading me.

I looked at her and rose my eyebrow "Said the one with the Queens attitude"

She smirked surprised, then nodded "Okay, fair enough"

"Before we go to the next location you should know that each challenge the Queen pass, they will get a hint that will help them in the name tag race"

"What's the Queen mission" The tall guy said

The PD smiled "Can't tell" he pointed to the street side "Every two teams in one car" he said and we all walked to the line of cars.

The MC who Moonbyul from mamamoo was his partner came to us "Wanna go with us?" he asked...Taeyeon and I nodded, why not.

I sat at the back with Taeyeon and the MC is driving with Moonbyul beside him. There is cameras on each door corner and there is one in the middle, it kinds of awkward having them pointing at us like that. One of the staff came and put the location on the GPS. I suddenly felt vibration in my jacket pocket; I put my hand in and took out a phone that wasn't mine...my phone is with Yuri. I looked at everyone and they seem busy in something else. I opened the phone and it didn't have any password, I looked at the notification and there is a message...I opened it and the first word was 'This is the PD' and I don't know why but I gasped

And Taeyeon looked at me "You okay?" she asked

"Everything is fine, it's just Yuri" I pointed the phone but tried not to show her what's written

She nodded and looked away

I continued reading the message:

'The first mission is going to be in the theme park. Each team will have three dangerous games to play, and on each game they will have to see words and make a sentence out of them that will help them to escape the park hardest and scarest maze. Keep in mind every game you lose you will get a hint about the Aces and every game you win your partner will get a hint of where to find the lower card'

Oh god...stress started creeping inside me.

"So Taeyeon," The MC popped out and said from nowhere "You are...ah..." he hesitated to talk

"Model..." Taeyeon said to help him

He shook his head "No...I mean..."

She nodded "Gay" that dead flat voice crawled back to her tone

"Yeah," he said awkwardly giggling

I looked at her and her gaze was straight deadly on him. Why they do that to her?

"You were outted right? Must've been tough" he senselessly said

Taeyeon clenched her jaw taking in a deep breath, she then uncomfortably chuckled and said "I didn't know I was here for an interview"

The MC laughed "No no I just want to make you talk"

Her face straightened "There are other ways to make me talk." the air became thin, then she faked a laugh "Don't be amazed! But my sexuality is not the only interesting thing about me"

I wanted to stand up in the car and clap for her...she's so classy with trashy people. I couldn't do it, I was scared to sound disrespectful but suddenly Moonbyul did it.

She clapped while saying "I'm a huge fan of your courage like my respect for you is unbelievable, you meet my expectations" I can see Taeyeon smiling wild

We finally arrived thanks God.

Taeyeon looked happy when she walked out and saw that we are infront of the theme park "I love this place" She told me when I stood beside her "So damn much"

Moonbyul passed by us and Taeyeon stopped her "Thank you, I appreciate what you said" the blonde girl told the girl with the gray hair

Moonbyul shook her head "No...I appreciate what you do for us" she said smiling then walked away

Taeyeon turned to look at me with her eyebrows crossed, surprised. She pointed her thumb at Moonbyul "Did she just...?"

I nodded giggling "Yeah, secretly came out to you"

"Wow" she shook her head trying to understand what just happened.

We walked in and we stood in our places infront the cameras. My mind started to think about how I'm supposed to take the Ace card under Taeyeon's name tag, while the PDs were explaining the challenge rules for the rest of the members...

When they finished; Taeyeon looked at me "But I can't see well that's so homophobic of them again" she said, and I felt relieved...thank you God

"It's okay you have me" I said hitting my shoulder with hers...I'm sorry, I feel sad now...

They brought a small bucket with colored papers inside them. We have tp take three of them each have a name of game we should play.

"You pick" I told her before she tells me to do it

She picked the first one "Water slide..." she put the paper away, good this is gonna be hard on her. She picked the next paper

"Please be merry go round" I said crossing my fingers behind my back.

"Rollercoaster aka death train" she chuckled so hard, this is going to be terrifying but good for me. "You pick the last one" she told me

"Please lord let me have something easy for my soul" I picked one and my face went blank when I saw what's written

Taeyeon looked at the paper "Bungee!" she said while laughing so hard "My luck was better"

"Is there any bungee jumping here?" I said

"No not here but it's beside the park" the PD said

"Then we will do that last, we should get going" Taeyeon said

This is going to be horrible...

"Where do you want to go to first?" she asked while walking around randomly, with two VJs around us

"I don't know they all are scary..."

She walked close to me, as if she's trying to comfort me but without touching because there's camera infront of us and one behind us. I looked at her and I can understand what she's intending to do.

"Let's do the rollercoaster first, second water slide because we will get wet, and last jumping" she said and I agreed to the plan.

We went to the rollercoaster and RM staff where there waiting for us,

They made us sit in front, at the begining of the train shaped ride were cameras were placed infront of us and around. A staff came and pulled this thing for safety over our head, he made sure we are strapped in so tightly.

After being seated Taeyeon looked at me and said "I'm wearing contact this is going to be pain in the ass" she chuckled...God I'll sound so mean but that's good everything will be blury for her.

It started and the train took a long chain hill up, I looked around and we were getting higher and higher. Then suddenly it went downwards so fast and my heart dropped. I closed my eyes, not only because I was scared to death but also to not see any word. I lightly opened my eyes and looked at Taeyeon from the corner of my eys and she was trying her best to keep her eyes open...I guess the strong wind is bothering her eyes. I have to do something to stop her from being so focused on what's going to be shown of words. My hand moved alone without thinking and held hers and I started screaming so loud without caring how my face is going to look like.

She looked at me surprised "Hey, hey it's okay" she held my hand tight between her two hands and put it on her lap

"I have fear of high places" I lied, while shaking. She locked her arm with mine

"We are almost done just keep holding my hand"

After the upsides and downs of loops and loops; the ride finished, I walked out and sat on the ground; my legs were shaking.

"Did you get all the sentence or you want to go again?" the staff said and I stood up

"Oh no, I can't do that again" I said to stop Taeyeon from even thinking about it, she can't go again and see the words correctly

"Oh don't worry no need for us to go again" I looked at her surprised, she continued "I got couple of words"

"Which are?" one of the staff asked

"I got 'There's' then got the word 'Yellow' and least 'Left' so I guess it's whenever we see yellow in the maze we have to take the next left turn" she said

And I lost my mind "What?!"

"You are right" the staff said

Taeyeon jumped in her place "Yes" she walked to me "Water slide is next" she happily said.

Oh god I don't know if I'm angry or if I'm truned on by how smart she is...

"How did you do that? I wasn't able to focus at all" I asked her as we were walking to the next game

"I wasn't too but i tried my best to get as many as possible" she smiled proudly "It was just luck that I only was able to catch the words that made sense" she said and I just wanted to tell her no it wasn't luck you are just a very smart ass person.

We stood infront of the water slide and it was huge, without forgetting that it's full of water in this cold weather. I can already feel how freezing the water is...

"First do you want to change, your clothes?" The lifeguard standing there said, while pointing to the small room.

"Yes" Taeyeon said and walked to change before and the first thing that popped in my mind...it's the best time to take the Ace underneath her name tag

However, when she finished she walked out with her shirt in her hand then gave it to the staff there... God this woman

When I finished we walked up to the starting point, "We are going to freeze to death" I said

And Yuri popped out of nowhere behind us and said "I'll be waiting for you at the end with towel, don't worry"

"The words are going to be inside slide" They said putting the go cameras around our hands and head.

"But it's going to be so dark inside" Taeyeon said and I added with her "We won't able to see anything" just to look like I'm intrested

"There's light inside the slide that will turn on and off you just have to keep up and notice the words" they said

Taeyeon held my hand "We can do it" she said and I smiled awkwardly...why she got to be that excited? Like cutey pie you are always quiet and in your bubble...why today? When I want her to show interest she doesn't and when I don't want her to she does...ugh.

"I'll go first"

She walked to the edge and sat down at the very top of the slide. The lifeguard told her to keep her hands and feet together, "Are you ready?" He asked putting his hand on her back. Taeyeon nodded and he gave her soft but fast push and she took off.

"Did you take the cards?" Yuri asked

"Just the one in the locker," I said trying to see where Taeyeon is at,

"Yeah the one in her name tag is very hard" she said "I'll go wait for you down" She left and the lifeguard told me to get ready next.

When I sat at the edge of the slide I heard water splash; he told me the same "Keep your hands and feet together, are you ready?" I closed my eyes and nodded, he pushed me and it started vertical but then serpentine, I squeezed my arms to the side of my body and kept my feet clenched together. The light that was going on and off made me open my eyes and I saw 'Tall' then 'Wall' I immediately closed eyes and kept them like that till I felt my body hitting the cold surface of the pool water.

I felt hand holding mind, and just by the touch I knew it was hers. I opened my eyes and she was pulling me slowly out of the pool. When we walked out, Yuri gave Taeyeon a towel, then walked to me and started drying my body then my hair. I couldn't help but look at the blonde...she stayed in the cold water extra time wating for me, to help me...

Yuri put the wet towel aside and put another dry one around me. Taeyeon did the same; she put the wet one aside and took another one but she put it under her shirt!

She looked at me looking at her surprised, "Putting the towel inside makes me more warm, it makes like a barrier between the wet shirt and my freezing body," she said

"What a smart ass" Yuri said making Taeyeon smile, shyly looking away. I looked at Yuri with my eyebrow all the way up. "What?" she asked

"She never smiled shyly like that with me" I whispered

"Jealous?!" Yuri chuckled "Don't worry, she doesn't look at my body the way she looks at yours" she said and my eyes closed and opened alone in shock

"What?"

She turned me to look at the camera that was coming from far away "You just have to pay attention, and stop spacing out every time she's around" she told me then walked away from the camera view

"Saw the words, or you'll go again" they asked. Taeyeon looked at me and I tried not to look in her eyes since I'm still blushing of what Yuri said.

"What I got didn't make that much of a sense." she said "I got 'Don't, touch, small, walls, Touch' that doesn't make sense how to not touch and touch small walls" she said frustrated...I want to tell her but I can't, gosh my heart can't so that to her...

"What about you?" she asked moving close to me but not too close.

"Ah..." my mind froze not knowing how to bring up a lie, "I only saw wall"

She looked at the camera "Guess will go again"

I couldn't handle it, "But I saw wall two times," I said and she looked at me

"Two times?" she asked and I nodded "Then it's about two walls, the small ones and the tall ones. So don't touch tall walls and touch small walls" she said and this time I'm just purely turned on by her, no anger.

She was right, so we didn't have to go again. Instead we went to change back before freezing. The PD said they will stop filming till we change and till they get the car ready for us to go jump.

The lifeguard told us that our clothes are inside the small room. And I had to take the chance "I will go first" I told Yuri and Taeyeon then walked straight to the wood like a box room. Taeyeon shirt was folded and put first. Suddenly someone opened the door; when I was about to put my hand on the shirt. I turned and Taeyeon was standing infront of me.

The room is too small, her body was way too close to me. I had to move my head away or hers would've touched mine. I wanted to ask what she's doing here, but I lost my breath. I feel my heart beating inside my throat. She moved her arms over her abdomen and tugged her wet shirt off. I took deep breath looking at her but I didn't let it go, because if I did my breath would've came out as a moan instead. My eyes moved away and my head moved to the side to look at the old woody walls. Every move she takes her body touchs mine. I felt her breath getting closer and I uncontrollably looked at her...my nose hit hers, and there's no room for me to move any inch of me away. My body started shaking, I'm slowly suffocating in the most beautiful painful way.

"Sorry, I just thought that changing at the same time will save time" She took her shirt and wore it, "Want me to help you?" she said

"No...no I'm fine" I finally was able to breathe, she nodded then took off her shorts, I can feel her head going all the way down...and here my mind goes wild again.

I left my head up to not see anything, then took my shirt off. I put it aside and then saw Taeyeon looking at me with her head tilted...Ahhhh Yuri's words played in my head all of a sudden, no we've seen each other like this before it's all fine...but she was looking at me the same way back then in the dressing room. My whole body heated up and it's no longer cold.

Taeyeon took her pants and wore it, then she held her jacket "I'll be waiting outside" she said before she walks out, and all my mind could think of is...that was something.

I dressed and walked out; Taeyeon was nowhere...pft she said she's going to wait outside.

Yuri walked to me "Did you two make out or did you fight in there?"

I crossed my eyebrows confused

"Taeyeon walked out with a serious face, I got her coffee but she just walked straight to the car without saying aword"

"Her mood always change like that" I said "Anyway I wasn't able to take the Ace, and I wasn't able to take any new hint because we got both of the games right"

"It's fine, you still have time"

We arrived to the bungee, and as they parked the car, I looked up "That is so high up," I told Yuri who was shaking just by looking at it and she's not the one jumping. "There is no way I'm jumping this I won't be able to do it" I said

"Don't worry it's going to be a very useful experience for you" Taeyeon said opening the door for me

We went to the desk to sign in, "Miss Taeyeon has a file here, we only have to take Miss Tiffany weight and information" the guy there said. I looked at her and she just smiled then looked away.

I got weighed, then they took us to the elevator to go up. The cameras went before us so it was just us in it.

"So you come here often?" Yuri asked Taeyeon.

She crossed her arms while leaning on the side wall of the elevator "Yeah it clears my mind of bad thoughts" she said and Yuri looked at me, I shrugged...what a way

The place was empty so we were first, they asked if we are going solo or together.

I looked at her "I can't do it solo"

"I'm fine going together" she told me and thank you god

My heart started pumping rapidly, and my hands are shake as they started harnessing me up, the crew member there wrapped a towel around my ankles then they started strapping all sorts of things to my feet. I looked around at all the harnesses, cables, wires around me and alot more of equipment that I don't know and never seen before.

I looked at Taeyeon while she was strapping and harnessing herself without any help...she really do it often...I wonder what feelings of clearness she means.

Taeyeon walked to me and held my hand to stand up. "Ready?" she said

"What?" I took step back,

She chuckled "Just kidding they just have to connect our wires together" she said, and they pulled our bodies together. Taeyeon pointed at the rubber rope "This is the bungee" she said and I looked at her in shock

"My life is in that rubber band?"

She laughed so hard "It's not just any type of rubber band" she shook her head then opened her arms for me "Hug is more comfortable"

I wrapped me arms around her neck and she put hers around my waist. Our feet are bound together so they walked us to the ledge, it's like a short metal square that extends outside the platform.

I looked over and the view is so terrifying, the VJ told us to look at all the fans down waiting for us to jump. I waved to them then hid my head back in Taeyeon's jacket "That's so scary" I felt her petting my head

"The words are going to be held by the fans down there," he said then added "We are going to count down from three." while the crew were holding our harness at the back. I held Taeyeon tight, shutting my eyes.

"Three" they all yelled, oh God my heart is pumping incessantly. "Two~" I took a deep breath.

"No no no, I can't..." I let go of her,

But she held my hand "It's okay, take a second...take it in slowly" she said, I was breathing heavily, I tried to take it all in but I was getting dizzy.

Taeyeon slowly moved my hand and put them around her neck, then she held my waist and pulled me so gently closer to her, aad whispered in my ear "You know when I was young, my dad used to pick me and my mom up with his so fancy black jeep," she softly giggled, and I closed my eyes listening to her "And he would drive us to the countryside away from the city, even though he wasn't doing good in life. I used to sit in the back seat with the window down and I would close my eyes; let the air hit my face and run through my hair. I would close my eyes to draw everything I love and want in my imagination, I would make everything so peaceful insdie my head to make me escape all the problem we had" She slowly turned us around, "I remember in one of those days, I closed my eyes and I started imagining me jumping from a very high place like this, I felt like the air had adrenalin in it and as hard and cold the wind hit me, the more I was alive, and out of the real world. In that day I felt my mom putting her hands on my eyes and whispering 'Keep them close and don't open them till I tell you so' and that made me feel so safe and that nothing can stop me from going in with that jump till the end of it" I softly pulled her closer to me, and she buried her face in my neck "Close your eyes and imagine what makes you feel safe, and don't open them till you know you are completely safe" she said and I felt her bending her knees, arms tight around me, and she jumped.

My mind was clear, everthing was quiet and her face was the only thing I was able to imagine...I saw myself standing infront of the children hospital, with her holding my hand and smiling so bright that I believed... I can do it. I opened my eyes and I feel free...all the anxiety, fear, nervousness, disappeared in an instant.

I looked around, I'm falling...but the wind is ripping through my hair. I'm completely upside down, head down, feet up. I saw the ground below me getting closer fast, and before I scream scared I felt the bungee starting to gently pull at my legs and hips and it's slowing us, and that made the blood rushe to my head. We suddenly came to a stop but then in seconds we moved away from the ground and we are up again then we dropped again.

I looked at Taeyeon who was looking at me smiling "You did it" she said, and I couldn't help but smile so proudly.

I nodded "Thanks to you" I kind of yelled out of excitement.

She shook her head, "It's all you, you made it possible" I hugged her again and I can feel her rubbing my back.

We were still upside down, then the crew member released our feet so we can sit right. I laid down not wanting to move an inch of me.

"You will go again?" The crew said

I was so out of power to even scream at them. Taeyeon looked at me then said "No I think we are okay, with not getting this hint" she said, then gave me her hand to pull me up. I took it and stood up,

"Okay as you wish" They said and the crew came to take all the things off of us.

We took off to the car to rest for five minutes before we go back to the maze.

I looked at her, taking a sip of water then laying her head on the seat while breathing heavily, "So when did your mom tell you to open your eyes?" I asked and she turned her head to me,

"She didn't, I opened them myself" she said

I rose my eyebrow surprised "And when did you find it was the time to open them?"

She smiled "When I believed that I was ready to face the fact that my dad died"


	15. Chapter 15

It hit so deep that I didn't know what to tell her, should I hug her? Should I say sorry? That might piss her off...

I looked at her and she is sitting with her head moving left and right listening to the music on the radio, "Is that the reason why you come here often?"

She turned too look at me, with her head tilted to the side "No," she said

"Then why? What are the bad thoughts?" I didn't care this time if I was crossing the line...I feel like we are closer, we are on another line now

She chuckled "If I told you, you will think I'm crazy"

"I already do," I smirked

She nodded then crossed her arms "I go jump to believe that death is not worthy," she said. I moved my body back; I was taken by her words. "Whenever the thought of standing on top of a very, scary, high building and just through myself from there comes to my head, I go bungee jumping...because taking your own life is not worth it, it's really just not worthy at all " she said and then added nothing more...

I looked at her and kept staring...where have have you been? Why did I just meet you? Is this the God showing me that there's more? Or are you here just to teach me a lesson for what I pushed away and for what I did? Are you here to make me follow you like a lost puppet? Are you here to bring my regrets? No no Tiffany no, that's just the worst in you bringing the worst in everything...

"Hey Miss Tiffany" I looked at the PD "Are you okay?" he asked

"Yeah, I'm okay"

"Are you sure? I called you three times" He pointed out "We are here"

I walked out of the car and Taeyeon was waiting for me there. It was dark and time was passing, as we walked to the starting point my mind was still off.

Each team stood in a different place but we all have to escape out of the maze from the same exit.

Taeyeon turned to me and put her hands on my shoulders, I wanted to push her... I'm scared that she will just do the worst to me, I want to stay away but I want her closer to me. I want to tell her to never touch me again but I want her to hold every part of me between her hands...

"So we have to turn left on every sign of yellow. We have to stay away from tall walls and not touch them, small walls are fine" she told.

"But we didn't catch the last hint" I said slightly moving my body away from her,

"It's okay we will work it out" She held my hand and took a step ahead of me, while my body was frozen.

"You have one hour to escape the maze, you ready?" The PD said

I took out that phone; when I felt it vibrating. There's new message and it only said 'You will find three hints about the Ace hidden inside the maze'

Taeyeon looked at me, "I'm ready" I said and put the phone away before she sees it. She said she is ready too

"Time starts...now"

They opened the way and we walked in with a camera infront of us and one behind us. Also they had drones filming from above.

We walked in a straight line and it started to get creepy, as around us there are only walls covered in plants growing out of them, that made the walls look like they are alive.

Taeyeon was ahead of me but her hand is still holding mine. I kept looking around for anything, and my gaze met a piece of yellow fabric between the plants. I reached out to it without making the girl infront of me notice.

'There's an Ace under every cup of coffee'

Okay then I'm looking for coffee cups...I put the piece of fabric inside my pocket.

We stood infront of three open ways, left, right, and straight. Should I tell her that next is left? But if I did she will ask how did I know, I can't show her the yellow fabric she will see what's written...

"Left" She pulled me softly to walk beside her and she took the left turn. I looked at her surprised

"How did you know?" I asked

She pointed up "The drone turned to film from the left, so I guess it's the right way" she smiled then continued walking. The actually hell? I can't understand the way she thinks...

"We should walked fast time is passing" she said and this time walked beside me. We took couple of steps only and we were stuck with left and right turns, we looked around and there's no sign of yellow.

"There's no yellow, should go right?" I said and she nodded

"I guess" we took the right turn and we kept walking fast.

"Hold up" Taeyeon stopped,

She scared me "What's up?" I said looking

She suddenly pulled my hand and said "Run" and she just started running and I followed

I yelled "What's wrong?"

She shouted back while pointing at the walls "Tall walls both sides"

I let go of her hands; when I saw a white envelope on the floor. I took it fast and put it in my jacket pocket.

She turn to me "What are you doing?" she said confused

"Nothing I'm coming" I said walking to her,

"Fast" she said while looking at the walls, she lifted her hand up for me to come and hold it, and suddenly the walls started moving closer toward us. The walls were closing on each other slowly but in that second I felt they were moving fast. She snatched my hand and started running, my legs just followed.

We came to three turns again but without stopping Taeyeon kept running straight.

Running in the path I saw yellow flowers on the walls "Left!" I said when the turns came and we went left.

We stopped running when the tall walls disappeared. "Oh God" Taeyeon sat on the floor,

"What's the time?" I asked the VJ

"Half hour left" He said

Taeyeon stood up "We should keep going"

As we continued walking, we took the next right turn because we didn't see any yellow.

"Red flowers?" Taeyeon said looking at all the red flowers surrounding us.

"What does it mean?" I said and she shook her head

"I don't know"

We kept walking and when the flowers disappeared, Taeyeon moved closer to the small walls "Grab the wall" she said and I walked side to side with the wall.

"Just because it's safe" she said chuckling.

We came to one turn and it's only right, we took it and walked the straight path again. "I feel like we are not coming to an end, this place is starting to creep me" I said and she giggled

"We are getting closer" she said, then we stopped infront of four ways to go.

"What the hell was that?" we heard someone yelling then the three men team Suk-jin, Kwang-soo, and gary walked out of the right turn.

"Oh it's Tiffany and Taeyeon" the tall guy walked to us,

"Did you guys pass by the red flowers" the old guy Suk jin said

"Yeah it was horrible" Taeyeon said, and I looked at her...did she just lie?

"How did they make hole in the ground and put plants that will hold your legs, that's so unfair" gary said

Taeyeon looked at me while smirking,

"And imagine 60 seconds every time you fall in a hole and there are millions there" the tall guy said

"Yeah it took us so long to pass it" she said,

"Did you pass by a yellow sign?" Suk jin asked

"Yeah we don't know what that means" gary added

"Yeah, we got the hint for that," Taeyeon looked at them, acting all serious

The tall guy pointed at the back "We just passed by one, and we guessed to take the left turn" What a lucky guess

"Oh no" Taeyeon said "Yellow means right" she looked at me "Then our next turn should be from the way they came" she told me and I'm just standing there so shocked from the inside but trying not to show it.

Suk jin popped up "Then we should go back, and take the right turn then straight" he said and they all started running so we won't be able to catch them.

After they disappeared from our sight; Taeyeon took my hand and turned to the left and started running, when she made sure we are far away from them. She stopped and started laughing,

"Did you just lie to them" I looked at her, barely able to catch her breath from laughing.

"Well I had to" she said wiping her tears, "We should keep going before they find out that I lied"

We walked side to side, "Why left?" I asked

"Suk jin said that they should go back take the right turn then straight, so they first took the left turn then they were going atraight. And the straight path from their perspective is left in our perspective" she said smiling all proudy. I walked beside her while still surprised by her way of thinking.

I pointed infront of us "There's only one turn" I said and we went to the right.

"God~" Taeyeon cried "Tall walls" she said before we start running.

This time the walls were really moving fast. And I saw envelope stuck between the planets on the wall, I kept running and when I got closer, I took it this time without stopping.

"We are out" Taeyeon yelled, when she saw the PDs and the staff standing infront of us.

"Finally" we stopped and sat on the ground immediately. Then after a while, Taeyeon stood up and asked the staff for water. She opened the bottle and gave it to me,

Awww how cute...can I tell her that? No Tiffany, no...okay "Thank you" I ended up just saying that,

After us; Solar and her partner Jong kook walked out of the maze, "You guys are first" he said then walked to us, Solar sat down beside me. I gave Taeyeon the bottle back after taking a sip and she held it and drank after me...she didn't mind that?

Suddenly the tall guy came running towards her, she took couple of steps away from him scared. He held her shoulders and shook her and that made the water spill on her. "You lied to us" he yelled at her, she looked at him with surprised look and everyone started laughing finding his action funny! I kind of didn't. I stood up to walk to him, but she suddenly started giggling

"Of course I did do you think I was going to give you the right direction? we have to win" she said moving away from his grip.

"Oh my God" he took a step away acting like he's frustrated, she chuckled then walked away from him. She took tissue from the staff and tried to dry the water off her jacket but she couldn't it was pretty wet, so she just took it off.

After all the teams walked out, we stood back in a half circle. "Taeny team won, they will have the first hint" The PD, and I couldn't help but smile,

"Both of them are really smart" The MC said and all of the clapped for us.

I looked at Taeyeon and she smiled to me; her smile made me melt out of my body but I couldn't not notice that she was shaking.

"Who's hungry?" The PD asked and they all screamed like kids

"Cold?" I asked her, and then made sure the envelopes are on the right side of my jacket before I held her left hand and put it inside the pocket. She just nodded with her nose and lips rose red. I moved my left hand to her right hand and held it between mine, I guess she's really cold because she didn't mind it at all...

"Okay then we are heading for dinner" he told us and then said "Cut" to stop filming.

Yuri walked to us then her eyes went to our hands, she looked at me and smirked before saying "What's up?"

"Freezing" Taeyeon said while slightly jumping in her place.

And Yuri all of a sudden opened her jacket and hugged Taeyeon, putting her small body in her big fluffy jacket, I looked at her with my eyebrows raised up,

She mumbled "This is how you do it" I felt Taeyeon letting my hand go,

I looked at the blondy who hugged Yuri tight, and I felt like hitting her and Yuri's head so hard that they will fall to the ground crying. "It's better to go to the car, it's going to be warm" I said pulling Yuri away,

"Thank you, feeling better" Taeyeon told Yuri then let go of her before walking to the car.

After she left; I looked at Yuri "Seriously?" I said surprised,

"The girl was cold, and she looked pretty cute" she said smirking

"I didn't know you were gay" I said, and I sound jealous

She laughed hard "You know hugging another woman doesn't make me gay, also I hugged her because I was trying to get the Ace, but it didn't work" She said crossing her arms,

I nodded feeling relaxed "Ahh...okay" I said looking way, why did I act like that suddenly?

"However," Yuri moved close to me "Did you just now by any chance hint me that you are telling me you are gay?" she said and I blanked, "At the end you like a woman right?" she smirked and it hit me

"I have to go, they are waiting" I ran to the car.

I breathed in and out before opening the car door and enter. I looked at Taeyeon who was covering her ears with her hands while her eyes shut.

"You okay?" I said

And she opened her eyes, and looked at me then put her hands down "Rubbing my ears makes me feel warm" she said giggling fruitly

"Really?" I uncontrollably moved close to her and softly held her ears, then started rubbing them gently between my fingers.

"You guys are ready?" The MC suddenly opened the door, I immediately took my hands away and sat back to me place, then it hit me...what was I doing? I was too close to her...that was out of line and sudden, what the hell my mind was thinking about?

He turned to look at us; when we didn't answer him.

"Yeah ready," Taeyeon said

"I bet you are ao hungry" he said then faced in front to turn the car on.

"Yeah" She said, then I felt her hand holding my shaking hand, I looked at her surprised, "Thank you, I feel much warmer"

I nodded then looked away. Oh my god, I'm so falling for her and she probably knows...

I received a new message from the PD telling me about the next mission. Which will be in the restaurant we are going to. They will give each team a box of extremely spicy chicken nuggets with a glass of milk, the first to finish will get the hint.

Thank you God...I can lose in this; Taeyeon is vegan she can't eat chicken or even drink milk, so everything is in my hand.

We arrived to the restaurant and the owners gave us warm welcome. They walked us around to look at the restaurant till the food is ready. As we were walking, Taeyeon stood in front of a very old piano that was put in the corner of the restaurant, the grandma that was sitting aside looking at us; walked to Taeyeon, "It's so beautiful" The blonde girl said while touching the old, cracked wood.

The grandma smiled happily then put her hand on the piano and said in her tired, shaky voice "This piano means alot to me. My love back then in 1948 when he came back from military, he brought this piano with this resturent and then proposed to me by singing our favorite song, while playing on it in front of everyone. And from that day till now every person sees it, whether they are happy or sad; they will sit on this old chair with the torn leather, and sing an emotional song that will make them feel better and then they will go to eat happily" she knocked softly with her powerless finger on the piano "If this piano could talk, it would tell about all the pain and joy, stories and voices of every hand that played it."

Every single person of us was standing still, looking at them and listening to the conversation they are having, "Taeyeon should play something for us, I heard she have a very good voice" The MC said and they all agread

"Do you want to take a part?" Taeyeon turned to look at the PD and he happily asked her to do it.

Taeyeon sat on the chair and pulled it closer to the piano, her fingers moved lightly over the keys, caressing the two keys she's about to play. As she put a little pressure on the keys; the notes came out and made the atmosphere so quiet, sad, and holy...

She took a deep breath closing her eyes while her fingers were smoothly moving,

"You almost had me fooled... Told me that I was nothing without you~ Oh, and after everything you've done, I can thank you for how strong I have become~" she sang softly, passionately, and her deep raspy voice filled the place.

She speeded her playing and singing "You brought the flames and you put me through hell...I had to learn how to fight for myself..." Mamamoo's girls' got in singing behind her with their perfectly harmonised 'O' as Taeyeon continued "...And we both know all the truth I could tell, I'll just say this is I wish you farewell"

The girl with gray hair, Moonbyul started hitting the wood table beside her to creat a beat that is syncly working with the other three girls that were singing like a quire behind her. Taeyeon took a deep breath before raising her voice to another note "I hope you're somewhere praying~ praying~ I hope your soul is changing~ changing~ I hope you find your peace, falling on your knees, praying~"

Moonbyul stoped with the beat, and the rest went back to the Os, while Taeyeon took her voice higher "Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night. Oh, someday, maybe you'll see the light. Oh~ some say, in life you gonna get what you give. But some things, only God can forgive" Taeyeon took a breath and hit a very high note that made the girls stop singing and made the hair on our bodies stand up in chill of her godly voice...

Taeyeon brought her voice back down and turned it back soft and deep, she sang last before ending the song " I hope you're somewhere praying, I hope your soul is changing, I hope you find your peace, falling on your knees... praying"

She stopped playing and then looked at the grandma who was wiping her tears, she stood up and hugged Taeyeon and told her "Who ever he is that hurt you, he doesn't deserve a beautiful angel like you with a heavenly voice. He doesn't even deserve you singing about him, may the lord make him regret every second of his life." she said caressing Taeyeon's hair, but the blonde girl shook her head smiling to that old lady,

"It's not about him it's about my mom and I'm pretty sure by now she's full of regrets"


	16. Chapter 16

We walked to the room where the chicken plates are put on long table with milk cups beside them.

"Oh God" Taeyeon said closing her nose "Chicken" she said disgusted, and her face made me laugh.

After they said what's the challenge is, we went to sit down, and Taeyeon decided we sit at the corner and I was fine with it, it's even better for us to sit away from them...

"Everything in this episode is literally against me from the dead flower to this chicken" she said faking like she's wiping her tears. Yeah everything against you obviously...and you just won everything

"It's all in your hands now" she gave me fist bump "You can do it" I nodded smiling while feeling sorry!

Each box had ten pieces of spicy chicken. The PD set the time and count to three, then told us to start. I held the first piece of chicken with the fork, I looked at it before I put it in my mouth,

"Is it spicy?" Taeyeon asked watching me.

"Till now it's still fine" I slowly with all the time I have to waste, I took another piece, then when I felt like it I took another one. And as chicken pieces got less my mouth started burning, I took a sip of the milk and kept it in my mouth.

"Take a break" she said fanning me with the news paper she found beside her on the small table.

I looked at the others thinking I was the only one burning but no, everyone was feeling the burn, they are sweating and trying to drink the milk thinking it will take away the hotness easily.

The first team to finish is definitely the team with the three members, I mean they are three so easy to win.

I looked at Taeyeon who was looking at me worried, "It's so hot I don't think I can do it" I told her and she suddenly took the fork from me and picked four pieces at the same time leaving only two in the plate, she fast moved the fork to her mouth and ate the chickens, then took the two pieces left and ate them too in the same bite. She closed her eyes tight chewing on the big chunk of meat in her mouth, then she took the glass of milk and drank it all in one big shot.

She put the glass down, and stood up with her hand on her mouth; she kept chewing fast and then swallowed the whole thing. I looked at her in shook, and everyonde did as well.

"Second place is Taeny team" the PD stated

"Are you okay?" I asked the girl who looked at me and hit her stomach

"Team work right?" she said

"Right" I said in a very concerned voice, then I lift my hand to high five her, she hit my hand back but she kept holding it, then sit down. She didn't look fine to me, she seemed like she's suddenly became physically ill, and her face looked like she smelled, or tasted something very unpleasant, she was turning yellowish, like she wasn't fine with what just entered her body.

"Hey are you sure you okay?"

She put her head down, and her hand on her mouth, "No, I'm going to throw up"

"Cut cut cut" The PD said, everyone stopped their suffering, and looked at him, "Is she okay?" He asked me pointing at Taeyeon "Are you okay miss Taeyeon?" he walked to her and couple of the staff too.

She turned to me and told me "I'll go to the bathroom" she stood up and walked fast, I wanted to follow her but one of the staff or at least that what she looks like walked after her.

I sat back down and everyone was worried. The owners came in hurry, thinking it's because there's something wrong with the chicken. "I don't think there's something wrong with the chicken we all ate from it" The MC said

"Maybe it's too spicy for her" moonbyul said

"She's vegan, I don't think her stomach was able to handel the milk and chicken" I said and they nodded

"Probably, especially if she's been vegan for a while, her stomach won't accept it" The only girl from running man member said.

Taeyeon walked back to the room, "Everything okay?" The PD said

"Yeah everything" She put her hand on her stomach "My stomach shock, it's like oh, hold up, wait this is unacceptable in here" she said giggling,

"Glad to know that" The PD said then walked back to his place,

She sat beside me, and her face was getting back its color, "Tiffany and Taeyeon's team will get two hints, and one hint for the three guys team and for Solar and Jong Kook"

I went to the PD and took our two hint, I give one to Taeyeon and held one.

"Hey guys sharing is caring" The MC said

"Who said we care?" Jong Kook said, and they all started fighting,

"Seriously guys come on share your hints" Hwasa yelled

"The three teams, we have the same hint, but Taeny have a new one. If they shair it with us we will shair" The tall guy said and I wanted to hit him,

"It's fine for me to shair, if it's okay with you?" Taeyeon said looking at me. Nooooo don't be kind now

"Yeah of course" I fourced myself to say that,

We all agreed and the PD said it's fine, they decided open the hint that nobody have. Taeyeon opned it and showed it to me:

'The Queen Of spade is female member'

It said only that, "Is that it?" the old guy of the three members team said, "It's called Queen of spade of course it's going to be woman, it's obvious we already know that" He said

"Exactly" some of them agreed with him,

"No it's not obvious," Taeyeon put the card down, then crossed her arms looking at him "It's Queen yes but that doesn't mean it's a waman, some men can be Queen too. So it's a very good hint" she said "Exactly" Mamamoo ladies strongly agreed with her,

They opened the second hint, in a try to change the subject because that dude stayed quiet after Taeyeon gave him a small lesson.

'The Queen of spade mission is to lose,'

That what the hint says?...shit that exposed everything. Shit, shit, shit~

"So we are safe" the guys team said high fiving each other

"If her mission is to lose then Taeny team is definitely away from the scene, they've been winning none stop since the beginning" The MC said putting us aside.

Oh my god, I just got saved of being caught by everyone... I looked at the girl behind me who smirked in a devilish way then continued drinking her water enjoyably.

After they finished fighting each other and sorting things; we sat down to actually eat. And of course because they are running man they didn't make us order whatever we want instead they put names of food that the restaurant make inside a box and every person have to pick one.

They started with Taeyeon, she put her hand inside the box and mixed the papers while saying "I don't think there's anything that I can eat here...but"

"There are vegetables dishes" the owener said

Taeyeon giggled "Okay then vegetables, vegetables, vegetables" she said and picked a paper, she looked at it "Eww fish" she put the paper on the table, "You eat fish?" she asked me

"I'm fine with fish" I said putting my hand I side the box "Steak" I said while wishing deep inside for anything that is vegetable so she can eat it. I pulled my hand and read what's on the paper "Yes~ grilled vegetables" I uncomfortably yelled and Taeyeon looked at me all giggling,

"Even in this they complete each other" Ji-Hyo said and I just smiled happily.

They all picked, then they brought the food and started to grill each team food infront of them.

As we were waiting, Taeyeon looked at the members "Hey guys should we play game, to swap food?" she asked, I turned to her surprised

"Yes" Joon kook said "I can't eat this noodles" he added

Some said no and some said yes, but then the PD popped up "This would be amazing to have fun time" he said, an then they all agreed

"Okay, since Taeyeon gave the idea; she should start first. Choose someone" The MC said and she pointed at him

"You" she told him, "The fish dish with the steak dish you have, you can choose whatever game you want I'm fine with everything" she said in confident

The MC is trying to save his dish by saying "You don't even eat meat, go with the vegetable soup"

Taeyeon chuckled "I don't eat meat but my partner does" she said, my eyebrows rose up, listening to her saying that made me get a small heart attack that put my body and me in a silent mood, but my lips were still able to form a smile.

"Okay okay" the MC agreed and he started to think of game

"The name poems" the tall guy told him,

"That's a good one" The MC said "Okay so we have to make a poem out of our partners name, and the rest of the member have to choose which one is better" he told her

"Okay, you start" she told him "Moon-" pointed to him,

He looked at Moonbyul "Moon and sun" he said, and I heard Solar giggling softly; she's sitting beside me,

"By-" she said

"By you they stand...but..." he struggled

"This doesn't seem like it's going well it's not making a perfect meaning" Joon Kook said

"Let me finish" he yelled at him

"UL...give me that if you can" She said giggling

"U'll always shine better than both of them..." he ended it

"Ayyy" all of Running man member stood up. And Moonbyul is laughing so hard

"This is a waste" Ji-Hyo hit the table

"You are already losing" gary said

"Okay, let's see how Miss Taeyeon will do" The MC stood up and said "Ti-"

"Till the last day of this life comes..." she made the first sentence

"It's already way too better, just give up" Kook said and Solar hit his arm

"Let her finish" she said

"F-" everyone laughed so hard because the MC was shaking,

"From now till forever"

"She's stating" gary stood up clapping

"There's one more," they all stood up looking at her. Then yelled "Any-"

She suddenly stood up and pointed at me with her eyes looking into mine, "Anyone that get close to you will have to face me first." she hit the table and walked to the other side to get the dish,

They all started shouting for her, "She knows she won"

I bit my lip so hard and put my head down to hide my blushing, I felt like her words clicked this thing in me that made my heart explode and send me to heaven. I lift my head breathing in and out trying to control my inside.

She put the steak dish in front of me, "Now it's a perfect meal for both of us" she whispered,

"Thank you" I said trying not to look at her, but I still can feel her smiling wide to me.

As we were eating peacefully, the MC decided to rain on the fire inside me and asked "Tiffany, are you dating anyone?"

I put the fork down and looked at Yuri, who slightly nodded to me. I smiled and told him "No, my work is all that in my head now, I'm putting all my focus on my work it's all that matter for me at the moment."

"I bet you are so busy, after being away for awhile work opportunities are probably coming all over your head" Ji-hyo said, and I nodded to her.

The old guy decided to open his mouth, "Ay even though there must be someone in her life I mean look at her, she's so beautiful"

I held the water bottle, and slowly started turning it around, trying to hold myself from lossing it on him, "I'm having time to myself..."

But then the MC decided to put cold water on my boiling oil and told the old guy "It must've been hard for her after what happened 4 years ago; they were it... so it's probably still hard for her. I believe having a time to herself is good"

I held the water bottle so tight that it started crushing. I wanted to move my hand and throw the bottle in his face so hard that it will start to bleed.

"CUT" the PD shouted, "All camers close and down now" He said, Yuri walked to him,

I stood up and wanted to leave but I felt Taeyeon's right arm on my waist; she made me sit down again and softly pulled me so close her. She held my hand with her arm still on me. She kept me close to her, and I just stayed there.

"In and out" she whispered in my ear and I just understood her. Breathing in and out while feeling her arm tightening around me...

"No personal question," The PD warned him "I told you, and I said it more than ten times before we start shooting...no personal question"

"You really crossed the line," Ji Hyo told him in an angry tone,

"You have no right, man there's line you know" Joon kook added,

"Honestly I didn't want to point this but first Taeyeon and now Tiffany" Moonbyul said and they all looked at her,

I looked at Taeyeon and she smiled to me then rubbed my back.

"What did he say to Taeyeon?" the PD asked her, surprised.

"In the car he said something mean and homophobic, I don't want to open it again" she said

The PD nodded then talked to Yuri and talked to her. Then he turned to the camers "His question is to be delete from all cameras, Miss Taeyeon do you want that conversation in the car to be deleted?" he asked her

She shook her head "No I'm satisfied with it, it's good to let people know"

The PD respected her answer then he stated "The shooting will stop here for this part, we will go to the name tag. Each will go in their private cars" he said then took his stuff and pointed for the MC to walk out with him.

"Hey Taeyeon you should go with us" Yuri invited her,

"Thank you, but my car is right there" she declined

"Come on, with us is better than alone" Yuri insisted

Taeyeon just smiled nodding her head.

"Is that a yes?" Yuri looked at her confused

"Yeah" the blonde girl said

I felt happy that she's coming with us but I was still taking by what happened back there...so I just stayed quiet for awhile. I sat In front beside Yuri and Taeyeon at the back.

I Saw her looking at me from the side mirror, and I was angry that she is seeing me like that but I'm not able to stop me from feeling like that.

"I know how you feel" she said out of nowhere, Yuri looked at her from the mirror and I turned to look at her. "After they knew about my mom, they started using it and whenever they get a chance they will bring it up and try to make me open and talk about it. After my mom they started with the story about me and Kurt together and then last but probably not least for them is my sexuality." she looked me in the eyes and said "People won't stop no matter what. They don't even care if the subject matter might hurt you or not, they love to see you in that type of situation. That's why you must take a step ahead of them, and you can only do that by accepting and being honest with your past and yourself now. Even if it's painful, even if it's hard, don't let them have hold of you, and you should know that a lot of people are proud of you"


	17. Chapter 17

Yuri stopped the car infront of the bulding, and the staff tald us to wait inside the car till the rest of the team comes. Yuri is indeed a fast driver.

"Excuse me" Taeyeon opened the door and stood outside beside the car.

Yuri looked at her shocked "Is she serious? It's freezing outside and she's wearing only that shirt" she said surprised,

"Well that's her you would never understand her" I said looking at her, she was leaning on the car with her arms crossed

"Go give her this," Yuri pulled extra jacket from the back and put it on my lap

"I can't go to her when I'm still like that" I said referring to my emotions.

She took the jacket "Girl you two have a lot in common, I can't understand you too. Don't you like this girl?"

I looked away "I don't know"

"God~ I will go get something out of her" She walked out to the other side and gave Taeyeon the jacket, the cold girl smiled and took it without saying a word. Why she's like that only with Yuri tsk, can she be friendly with me too without suddenly changing her mood for no reason?

Yuri looked at me and put her tongue out then she stood beside her.

Two second past and Yuri couldn't handle her quietness, and the freezing weather "Wouldn't be better if we sat inside" she said

Taeyeon smiled looking at her "It's fine, you really don't have to stay here with me" she said

Yuri shook her head "No, no I don't mean it like that. I mean by it if you stayed out here like this you will get sick; the car is warmer" she explained,

Taeyeon rubbed her own arms, with her head down covering her chin with the jacket collar, "I can't sit in the car for too long...trauma" she let a nervous giggle

I saw how Yuri suddenly shifted her standing position then I heard her sayin "Oh?! Trauma?" she was taken back,

Taeyeon nodded "Yeah, my dad died in a car accident" she moved her hand up "Don't apologize, there's no reason for you to do that" she told her, and Yuri rose her eyebrows completely shocked by the blonde girl attitude towards the situation.

After she felt what I always feel, she nodded then said "But you drive a car, don't you? Doesn't it like make you feel...you know what I mean"

"Of course I drive a car, I'm not going to let a trauma control my life and the way I live it. Even though sometimes it's scary and my brain will start bringing and playing all the memories and images over and over again but I have to fight them all so a can continue living. That is the past and if your past is not accepted by you, then you will never be able to have a future or even a present"

Yuri clapped "Exactly," then she looked at me before continue her talk "That's exactly how people should think" She lift her hand up and Taeyeon high fived her while laughing.

I couldn't help myself, so I pulled the window down and all the cold wind came in, "So you two are friends now?" I asked annoyed, they looked at me all smily.

"Friends? I want to date her" Yuri said giggling, I know she's teasing me but I want to kick her ass.

Taeyeon let out a very loud laugh, her head back and her hands are clapping out of joy. I raised my left eyebrow surprised, I looked at Yuri and she was laughing too

"Enjoyed it much?" I asked amazed of how this little thing made her laugh this hard,

"No~ It's just that..." she waved her hands trying to catch her breath "She's so~ straight" still laughing, she said pointing at Yuri

"And how did you come with that conclusion?" Yuri asked

Taeyeon wiped her laughter tears, then looked at Yuri "I just feel it when I look in someone's eyes," she said

"Oh right, what's that called..." she snapped her fingers trying to remember

"Gaydar" Taeyeon said giggling

"Yeah is that even real?" Yuri asked

"Yeah" Taeyeon answered

"Really" Yuri face popped out surprised

Taeyeon laughed "No I'm just kidding, gaydar is so stereotyped"

"So it's not real?" let down, she said

"No but some people are good at reading people so it's eassy to catch things and be right"

"And you are one of them" I asked her

She smiled to me "Kind of, more of stay quiet and study people"

That makes so much sense

"Well you got me right" Yuri said

"Not very right at the end sexuality is fluid" Taeyeon said smirking

Yuri smirked "Ohh what are you telling me? What did you just read in my book" Yuri said making her laugh again. I'm actually enjoying seeing her like that,

"Okay okay, leave my book" she held Taeyeon's arm and pointed at me "What do you read?" she asked her

She is smiling so wild while looking me in the eyes. And here she light the fire inside me...

"Read, read, read" Yuri whispered in her ears. She couldn't hold herself from laughing.

"Come on tell me something~" Yuri cried

But before she says anything, the PD arrived and he called Taeyeon.

"Excuse me" she said then walked to him.

After she left, Yuri opened the door for me and pulled me out to stand beside her, "I realized something" she said,

"What?" I turned my head to her but still looking at Taeyeon

"Taeyeon took her jacket off" she whispered

"Yeah because that tall guy spilled water over her"

She held my face and made me look at her "Focus" she snapped her fingers infront of my face "It's the jacket that have her nametag on" she said, and my eyes went wide. She opened her eyes wide imitating me "Yeah!"

"Oh my God" I walked straight to the staff and asked where her jacket is. The camera man turned the camera on and said that he has to film this part, immediately after he heard my question. The girl who followed Taeyeon to the bathroom when we were in the restaurant brought the jacket and gave it to me. I slowly ripped the nametag and the Ace showed right out of the bat. I looked at Yuri who was smirking. I took the Ace and was about to put the nametag back to the way it was but a realization lighted inside my head,

"I'm looking for Aces to put inside the other members nametags, right? Taeyeon already have one...why would I take it if I will have to put it back in? It's already there, so that's 11 out of 12" I said

Yuri hit her forehead "Exactly"

I put the ace back and before I close it another realization popped out "Wait, wait, wait" I took the ace again "There are two nametags, on her shirt and her jacket. If there's Ace in her jacket nametag doesn't that mean she has another Ace inside her shirt nametag?"

"Oh my God...yes, she was only wearing her shirt when you got the hint" Yuri clapped

"So I have to take this one and let ger keep the other one" I said putting the Ace with the one I took from her locker

"And you should make sure her nametag doesn't get ripped off" she told me and I nodded

"The first hint I got in the maze was an Ace under coffee cups. I found the other two but I didn't see them yet"

"Open them now better since Taeyeon is not here" she said and I took out the two envelops. I opened the first and it said

' Each player must accept the cards life deals him or her; but once they are in hand, he or she alone must decide how to play the cards in order to win the game. - Voltaire '

"What the hell? What's Voltaire?" Yuri looked at me confused

"You mean 'Who's Voltaire?' he's a French writer so I guess have to find a book of his" I cleared things up for her

"Okay genius"

I put it aside and opened the second one

'No closed door is actually closed when it comes to the Queen'

I put the hint down "So I have to look for closed doors, right?"

"I saw on Running man before, there are so many closed doors that point where the end of the nametage space is, like there are some places they are not allowed to enter and the doors are usually closed" Yuri told me and I kept that in my mind. Yet all I'm thinking about at this moment is how am I supposed to leave and run away from Taeyeon to find the Aces without her knowing.

When everyone came, The PD explained tp them that they have to go on a search for the cards from Jack and down to insure their safety in the last game of cards. At the same time, they have to know who's the Queen before I collect the Aces and replace their cards. I also must make sure that my nametag doesn't get ripped and Taeyeon's too since she has an Ace under hers

They put the teams away from each and luckily they put us in the office, where there probably are a lot of coffee cups, which means my Aces.

"Honestly best thing to do is to stay away from the other teams and just find two cards lower than the Queen" Taeyeon said rolling her sleeve

"What about the hint they gave you?" I said, drooling, watching how breathtaking she looks just doing the simplest thing ever

She looked at me confused, "What hints?" she asked with her head tilted.

As far as I remember the PD did tell me that every time we win my partner will get a hint about where she can get the cards. I looked at her and she seemed so confused, "Nothing, nothing" I took back what I said and she just shrugged.

We walked around in the office looking for any card or hint of any sort.

"Are we allowed to drink from this?" Taeyeon asked the VJ, pointing at the water cooler. He nodded to her, "Do you want water?" she said and I nodded, why not. She took a cup from the plastic cups that are stacked aside. I looked around and saw couple of coffee cups on some desks. As I was about to leave her and go see under them, she said "Ace?!"

I immediately turned to her, surprised. She gave me the cup of water and then lift an Ace card, "Where did you find it?" I said trying not to give her something to question

"I Don't know it was on the floor" she turned the card and looked at it "Maybe it was under the cup and fell when I took it, but Ace? What does it mean"

I started to get nervous and my palms are sweeting, "Doesn't the Ace in the heart game higher than the Queen?" I said

"Not sure, I can't remember" she kept looking at the Ace suspecting something,

"Can we google it?" I asked the VJ and he shook his head

"Well it won't work, since it's higher than the Queen" she put it on the table, and I just wanted to go take it, "You know what..." she said then took the Ace "Better keep it, it might be lower like worth one and not 13" she took the water cup form my hand and put the Ace in its place. She pourd water for her to drink.

I looked at the Ace then put it inside my pocket "You are right" I said walking away from her towards the desks on the side, where I saw the coffee cups.

I lift the cup fast before she comes and found an Ace card, I put it my pocket then turned to look at her before going to the next one. Taeyeon put the cup down then walked to the desks on the other side. I lift the other cup and took the card then walked to her like there's nothing. She lift her head up and looked at me, and I acted like I'm looking around then my gaze fell at the book on the first desk beside the door, it read Voltaire. My my eyes shined and my legs went straight to it. I opened the book and it directly opened to the page where the Ace is, I took it and put it in my pocket.

"Is that Voltaire?" Taeyeon said scaring me, so I uncontrollably closed the book and looked at her.

"You like him?" I asked, breathing in and out to calm my fast heart beats.

She walked to me "Yes" she said "I love his philosophy and his advocacy of freedom of speech" she said and I looked at her amazed. Is there one thing this girl can't do? Like she got it all, she's beautiful, smart, breathtaking voice and perfect singing, has amazing talent, and a bitch attitude. But wait can she dance? Should I ask her? No Tiffany no, it's not a good time to ask this question.

"We should keep going " she said, yes exactly we should.

We walked out and we are standing in hallway couple of doors on left and right. At the end of the hallway there's the elevatort.

"Should we enter all of them?" she said not wanting to do that

"Probably" I put my and on the door handel beside me and tried to open it; the door was closed. I turned to look at her but the door slightly opened and someone inside held my hand and gave me a card. That was terrifying...God

I turned to look at Taeyeon but she wasn't there. "Taeyeon!" I walked straight while trying to open each door. The last three doors are open, guess that was the only closed one.

"There's nothing here" She walked out from the door infront of me. "We should go down to the pain floor" she said pressing the elevator button.

While we were waiting for it to open "Are you that cold?" she asked pointing at my hands inside my jacket.

"Yeah" I lied, I'm just trying to protect my Aces

The elevator door opened and the three guys were inside. "You guys are everywhere" Taeyeon took a step back and I held her hand. No I'm not taking advantage I'm just scared of them.

"It's fate" the tall guy said,

"Are you going down" the old guy pointed his index finger down

"No" Taeyeon walked backward to the door beside the elevator, with her eyes still on them

"Where are you going" the tall guy walked toward us.

"We are talk the healthy way" she opened the door to the stairs exit and made me walk before her. She let the door go for the camera man to walk after us. I walked down fast then looked behind me to see if she's there and she was.

"Those guys creep me" I said when we started going down the stairs slowly.

She laughed "They do it on purpose, don't let them intimidate you" she said that and we heard Kwang Soo's voice saying where did we go...

"Now tell me he's not creepy" I whispered then started running again.

She was still laughing when we reached the first floor. I walked in front of her, shaking my head while deep inside I'm more than happy to see her having a good time.

I stood beside the wall looking left and right to see if there's anyone and as I popped out my head I saw Jongkook and Solar; they ere standing here and I can see couple of cards in their hands

I tried to see what are the cards in his hand. He was choosing one of the cards while talking to Solar. She then turned and he took her name tag and put the card they chose inside it. After he put the nametag back to its place, she did the same putting a card under his nametag. Shit that means they are safe now and they only have to know who's the Queen. Someone have to take their nametags so I can change the card with and Ace.

I looked one more time at them and it was a bad choice; his eyes met mine and I freaked out when he started walking towards.

"Shit shit" I turned and walked super fast back to Taeyeon who was looking around, "Shit~" I cried and she looked at me surprised.

"What's wrong?" she held my arm

"Jongkook is coming" I said looking around for somewhere to run to. There's the way I came from but Jongkook is coming from there and the stairs where the three guys are.

"Did he see you?" she asked, and I nodded then took her hand and ran to the door that have 'Only staff' on it. I opened the door and it was full of boxs and cleaning stuff. I turned to the camera man

"Act like you are fixing your camera" I told him then pushed Taeyeon in and closed the door

I kept praying they won't open the door and that they will just pass. We heard Kwangsoo screaming Jongkook's name then foot steps came after it which lead to

"Kwangsoo is out"

And Taeyeon couldn't help but to giggle so hard, "Shhhh" I traid to quiet her; she nodded putting her hand on her mouth. It was too dark to be able to see her but I can totally imagine her face in my hand.

"You think they left?" she said and I can feel her moving closer to me, as I can feel her body touching mine even more now.

"Maybe" I turned giving her my back, "Let's see" I opend the door slowly and saw the camera man infront of me. He mumbled that there's no one here, so we walked out and it's so good to see the light.

I felt the phone vibrating; I slightly took it out of my pocket and the message said

'reply with yes if you want to replace Kwangsoo's card with an Ace, reply with no if you don't '

I typed yes and sent it. The PD sent after it, that I should give the camera man an Ace so I'll be able to put one inside kwangsoo's nametag. I made sure Taeyeon is not looking then took out a card and gave it to the camera man; he nodded before taking his phone out and send a text to the PD to conform. I fastened my steps to catch up with her, she looked at me then continued walking.

"Hey guys did you find anything?" Moonbyul walked to us

"No nothing" I said, Taeyeon stood beside me

"We only found Ace, up" Taeyeon said

Moonbyul nodded "We found couple of them too, but they don't work" she said

"Yeah" Taeyeon looked around, and I took a chance to walk away from her and leaver her with Moonbyul.

I went to the book store on the side; there must be some books for Voltaire there. I walked between the shelves looking on the authors names. I had to walk two to three shelves to find Voltaire; there are only four books. I opened the first and took the Ace then the second and third, but when I opened the fourh book the Ace was turned backwards; 'She played the Queen as if afraid someone else would play the ace.' that was written. It took me off and my mind went into another level of thinking. What does that means? She is me...I am the Queen, I play the Queen at the end of the game...I have to make the other players play the Ace at the end...but why would I be afraid of someone playing the Ace?

"Taeyeon is out"

I left my head, shocked...did he just say Taeyeon?! I put the book back and ran out; I saw Taeyeon sitting on the floor with her legs crossed like she just finished a fight and she's exhausted. I went to her fast "What happened?"

She lift her name tag and swung it "Jongkook popped out of nowhere and I tried to take his nametag" she said

"Jongkook?!" I looked at her shocked...her trying to go against him is she crazy?

"Well he probably had a good card" she giggled then stood up. I saw the Ace that probably fell from her name tag under her...shit I should take that fast before someone sees it.

I moved close to her and stepped on it, she pushed her head backwards surprised of my sudden move that made me too close to her. I took her nametage "Turn around let me put it for you" I said smiling like a dumb

She looked at me confused but then nodded and gave me her back. I couldn't take the Ace from the floor, so I took one from my pocket and surprisingly it was the card that is written on it; she turned her head to look at me, so immediately I placed it inside and put the nametage back. "Let's go" I said and waited for her to walk first so I can take the card from underneath my foot.

But suddenly two men in black clothes came and took Taeyeon, saying that she have bto be suspended for couple of minutes because her nametag was ripped. They locked her arms with theirs and took her away.

"YESS~" I looked at the camera man who laughed on my reaction. "Now I can have the freedom to look wherever I want without her noticing" I said walking around "I should move fast before Taeyeon comes back" I went straight to where Moonbyul came from.

As I was walking, I saw couple of doors on the way; I made sure to open each and everyone of them.

"MC is out"

I heard his name and immediately without hesitating or thinking I took the phone out and sent yes to the PD while laughing so hard, finally he deserve it.

MAfter a while of looking around I found couple of Ace cards in closed doors around the shopping stories. I made sure that nobody is around then I put my hand in my pocket; As I was about to take the cards in pocket,

"Suk jin is out"

"Hwasa is out"

"Solar is out"

"Ji hyo is out"

The PD mentioned, and my eyes went wide in shock "That's interested" I said and took the phone out to answer the text that was just sent by the PD, I took four cards and gave them to the camera man.

I separated the cards to see how many left, with a big smile on my face.

"What are those?" I heard a very thick manly voice. I looked up, putting the cards back in my pocket; Jongkook was walking closer to me

"Nothing" I said taking couple of steps

He moved his hands in front him "Don't be scared, I already have my card" He said

"Yeah" I nodded still walking back, away from him,

He pointed at me "You look like you found good cards" he said but this time, he didn't take any step closer "Be careful" He said then turned and walked away

My eyebrows uncontrollably rose, "He left?" I said surprised "Wow what a..." I got cut by

"Jongkook is out"

...Shit...what the hell is happening here? I ran to the direction he walked to; I saw them taking him

"Hey~" I ran to him "What happened?" I asked him, he tried to warn me but the guy put his hand on his mouth and shut him up.

"What's going on?" I looked at the camera man who was as shocked as me "This is so scary" I took the phone out and felt so bad while writing yes to the PD, and giving the VJ an Ace card.

I stood there alone and the hallway is empty, "Where is Taeyeon?" I said, and I can feel someone behind me; I turned and freaked the hell out, seeing Kwangsoo behind me trying to take off my nametag.

"Where is your partner," he said standing infront of me, I'm backing and he is so tall. "She fooled us around again" he told me annoyed

I laughed on him "Maybe you are just so easy to fool" I said, and I felt someone moving his hand close to my back and I can see Gary's reflection from the glass on my right; I pushed my back on the wall beside me to hide my nametag. I tried to move away from them but they surrounded me and I can't move in inch as they moved closer; there were somerhings like pins or nails, something spicky on the wall so I squatted down, closing my eyes so tight while pushing my back so hard on the wall so they won't have any chance to hold any part of the nametag. I felt hands holding my arms and trying to pull me away, while another hands are trying to sneak behind my back. I was so afraid that I just wanted to scream so hard, I opened my eyes to look around but everything was black as if my eyes are still closed; they were talking to me but I was slowly losing my hearing, and my heart was beating so fast.

"No no no" I thought the game is just about to finish when they pulled me from my hands and my whole body was up while I was still trying to push my body back to the wall.

"Gary is out"

I felt the two forces that were holding my hands so hard loosened; I slipped backwards because I was still pushing. My head hit the wall and that made my whole body go back to function normally, my sight came back and I saw Kwangsoo pushed on the floor and he's acting like he's hurt. Gary was being dragged by the guys in black, and I felt the phone vibrate. I looked above me and I saw Taeyeon. I pushed my body up and hugged her, so relieved.

"Are you okay?" she asked, and I realized what I'm doing...shit...when bold Tiffany pops up, that's a problem. I let go of her, and I pulled my body straight up and stood a bit away from her.

"Yeah yeah I'm totally fine, I just hit my head that's all" I said looking at the wall, and saw that there are those spicky things where I hit the wall; I put my hand on my head, to make sure I didn't hurt myself, and there's nothing...thanks god.

I was totally taken by what happened that I forgot that the tall guy is behind us still acting like he's hurt

"Come on I just pushed you a little bit" she walked to him, and he like a beast moved his long hand up and was about to take her nametag but froze when the PD annoinced

"The Queen was found, the game is over please all the players head back to the game table"

Shit...shit, shit, shit, shit. I started to panck, who? How? When? All these questions popped in my mind. I lost the game...

Taeyeon held my hand and started walking, us towards the front door when the game table is. I walked with her blankly. I really tried so hard...I felt so sad and down that I honestly am so disappointed and embarrassed...

Later as we were couple of steps away, I felt Taeyeon slipping something in my hand, the one she's holding. I looked down on our hands then up to her.

She moved her head to my ear and gentle whispered "Don't look or open your hand, just put it in your pocket" she said, then added "By the way" she held my chin and turned my face to face her, she looked on my lips "I won't be able to say this later on when you do it, so I'm gonna tell you now" she moved her eyes to mine, "Your smile looks so beautiful" she said then let my hand go and walked before me.

Fuck me...I watched her as she walked away, leaving me confused, I don't understand a thing from what she said but God she kills me with each word she says. I, just like a lovesick fool put whatever she gave me in my pocket, just like she told me to do, then I followed her.

We stood around the PD, who had a rounded table in front of him.

"Two of you threw their cards down," He said putting his hands on the two cards that are facing down. "Jongkook-" he moved the card to Jongkook's side, then moved the other card towards Taeyeon, "And Taeyeon" he added.

I held my gasp, then looked at her...she knows? She definitely knows...of course she does, she's my partner; she probably noticed...ughhhh I lost this game miserably.

He let the two cards in front of them, "As you know throwing your cards down mean you're are taking your turn, ending the nametag run, and starting the cards game" The PD said "Jongkook, do you know who's the Queen of spades is?" he asked him and Jongkook nodded proud, so sure of his answer. His confidence is scaring me.

The PD put his hand on Jongkook's card "If you are sure say the Queen's name" He told him, and I closed my eyes stressing and wanted to hold Taeyeons hand so badly but I held myself and didn't do it.

"The Queen is Taeyeon" Jongkook pointed at her

I glanced at her and she had her hands behind her back as usual, her face was so relaxed...she knows it's me, she is stressing the hell out of me

"I think it's Taeyeon too" Gary said and half the members agreed, I was confused...what did she do?

"And why do you think Taeyeon's the Queen?" The PD asked

"She literally is the one that took half of our nametags" He said "She probably is the Queen"

"Or maybe that's just my job" she said then took her card and flipped it...yessss it's Ace

"Ace?!" Jongkook said confused and everyone was like him.

Jihyo yelled at him "You are dumb, you are the one who literally took her nametag off, did you see a Queen? How in the name of god did you get the idea that she is the queen"

The PD looked at Taeyeon "By showing your card you are revealing yourself, and if you're wrong you will lose...you know that right?" he asked her; she nodded

"You are so sure that the Queen got all of them" He asked her again,

She looked at me and told him "Yeah I believe in my Queen" she smiled to me before turning to the PD...

HER QUEEN?! SHE MEANS ME? OH LORD LET HER HAVE MERCY ON MY HEART...HER QUEEN SHE SAID UGHHHHH...but hold up who the hell is she? What does she means?

"Please I want you all to put your cards face down, in front of you on the table" The PD said

"Turn, I will help you" Taeyeon told me, and I gave her my back.

She took my nametag, "Relaxe, you got this. You will win" she whispered against my neck then put my nametag back. She held my hand then gave me the card faced down.

I felt fearless suddenly; I took step closer to her "Who are you?"

She smiled so wide her bubbly smile, "Your Ace" she said

Out of subject...can I kiss her...god she makes me go crazy,

"Everyone put your cards down" he said and we all placed our cards down. As far as I know three of them doesn't have Aces. I'm so losing; I looked at Taeyeon and she was looking on each and everyone of them and when she noticed me looking at her, she smiled giving me thumbs up.

The PD gave Taeyeon a paper and a pen "Write the name of the Queen here" she took them and wrote on the paper. Then gave it back to him.

Starting from the right "Jungkook open your card" he told him and the muscular guy turned his card and it's Ace,

"What the hell?! I put it 10 of spades" he said surprised

The PD pointed to the next person "Sollar.."

She opened ber card and it's another Ace. I'm smiling proudly. She showed the card to Jongkook who is still so surprised trying to figure what's going on.

"If each and everyone of you has an Ace card then the Queen will win," he said pointing to the next person

Jihyo opened her card "Ace" she throw it then looked at the next person, Moonbyul opened her card and of course it's Ace. Then Jae suk next Sukjin both of them had Ace cards.

"Wait, all of us were taken out by Taeyeon and all of our cards changed to Aces...how in the name of god she's not the Queen?" Jongkook said frustrated

Taeyeon lift her card up "This is my card, it's an Ace, It's not the Queen, so I'm not her" she said

The PD nodded "The Queen mission is to change your cards to Aces, so all of you will become lower than her and in that way she will win"

"If everyone that was taken out, their cards changed then the Queen must be one of the people that didn't get eliminated?" Gary told Jongkook,

"And it's definitely not Taeyeon," Jihyo said pissed off "I just don't understand, why did you end the game, if you weren't one hundred percent sure?"

"Then the Queen might be wheein, or So-min, or Tiffany." Gary said

"Se-chan aside, he's a guy" Jihyo added to him.

The PD waited for them to finsih talking then looked at me "Tiffany, would you like to open your card?"

They all looked at me, and I glanced at Taeyeon, she wasn't looking at me but then I felt her touching my pinky finger so softly with her index finger; I wanted to look away to hide my blush but I had to answer him, "Yes I'd like to open my card" I said, then, held my card and turned it face up. I pushed it to the middle where the open Ace cards are placed and I enjoyed all the shocked reaction.

"Tiffany is the Queen?" Kwangsoo said with his dramatic face expression,

"Okay that's a shock" Jihyo looked at me surprised

"Are you sure she's a model not an actress" The MC said,

And all that made me feel like I'm something which I'm totally not it, whatever that thing is.

"The Queen is down, so please the rest open your cards" The PD said

Kwangsoo, Hwasa and Gary had Aces, while wheein, So-min, and Se-chan had blank white cards

"But wait hold up, didn't the hint say that the Queen has lost all the games?" Kwangsoo said

"No" The PD answered him "The hint said the Queen mission is to lose and that doesn't mean she has lost and it doesn't say what game she should lose in"

Jihyo hit Kwangsoo's head, then said "That now totally makes since, her mission is to lose in this game the last game. Tiffany did it so well"

"Members that didn't get eliminated have white cards," Gary said

Sukjin said excitedly "Doesn't that mean the Queen lost"

He is right I lost but I'm still happy...I did well

"No" The PD said putting Taeyeon's paper back on the table. "Tiffany," He called me,"If your partner's answer is right you will have the chance to switch the white cards with Aces" he said, and I lost it...she definitely answerd right, I still have a chnace.

"However," He added killing my vibe "Do you have the three Aces left?"

I looked at him confused, and my mood fell "I don..." I was about to say but then remember what Taeyeon gave me, I put my hand in my pocket and felt cards inside; I took them out and they are two cards of Ace. I looked at Taeyeon and winked.

"She won that's it we got fooled and we lost" Jihyo said

"Now it's up to Taeyeon's answer" He opened the paper and then turned it to us while smiling "Tiffany" he said and I wanted to scream yes, but I'm so confused of what's happening.

"Oh man I think I got it now" Jongkook said, he pointed at Taeyeon "She's not the Queen, she's the Ace"

"Too late ain't it" She said smirking devilishly

"God how did I not notice," he said frustrated

"What do you mean" Jihyo asked him confused

"You see the Queen has to make us all higher than her for her to win, right? So Taeyeon is Tiffany's Ace, she takes our nametags off so the Queen will be able to change our numbers to Aces" he said and I looked more surprised than all of them,

"You are almost right, Ace mission is to find the Queen, help the Queen not to get caught, give the Queen the Ace cards, since she is the Ace and last to make the Queen win" The PD said,

That's why she was trying so hard to make me win, she even ate chicken for me. Also That's why she gave me the Ace in the beginning, and was giving me space. She also ripped all those nametags for me...Oh my God my heart can't handel all that...she's my Ace...

I couldn't hold any part of me any longer so I took closer step to her and held her hand and prayed she won't hate it and take her hands away but she only opened her hand and let mine set between hers and my fingers lock with hers. Lord this is all i need in life...

The PD took the two cards and replaced the white ones, "One card is left" He said then looked at Taeyeon who pushed her card to him.

"She won" Kwangsoo hit the table,

"The Queen won" The PD said and everyone clapped,

"Yessss" I yelled with a smile. God I didn't believe I'd win at all. I left my hands up and high fived Taeyeon.

She pointed her finger at my face "That smile" she told, I felt my face heating up.

"Well played, honestly you fooled all of us" Moonbyul said, making me move my gaze away from Taeyeon. she gave me high five.

The PD brought flowers and the gift which was a real gold Queen of spades card.

I took them from the PD, "Woww" I was mesmerized by it

"Sharing is caring" Hwasa said and I lost it; she made everyone laugh so hard. How can someone be this funny?

"The winner of this episode is Tiffany Hwang aka Queen of Spades" The PD and everyone clapped for me. He then started counting with his hand to end the shooting but something felt wrong.

"Wait wait wait" I said and everyone looked at me; the PD put his hand down looking at me. "If I won doesn't that mean Taeyeon won too" I looked at her.

She shook her head "No I didn't win"

"Tiffany is right, if the Queen won, Taeyeon should win too since she is the Ace and she was helping her" Jongkook said, and I agreed with him.

"Taeyeon doesn't win because she gave her last Ace card to the Queen. Therefore she ended in the game with no cards and that means she is out of the game" The PD said

Hell no, "What if I didn't take her card"

The PD smiled "It's not up to you, she is the Ace. She chose to give her card. If she decided not to give it both of you will lose but if she decided to give it and she did, the Queen will win and that's the Ace mission, to make the Queen wins" he cleard things up

"Awwww" solar did that

"That's so sweet of her" Jihyo added

"If I was her, I wouldn't give anyone my card" Kwangsoo said and Jongkook hit his head and as usual they started fighting.

I looked at Taeyeon, and she smiled to me "You did well"

No, no, no you did well more than I did, you are the reason I won...something is not adding up. I don't like this, if I won then she should win with me. I have to see her beautiful smile too.

I walked to the table and looked at the cards and counted them. The PD and the members all looked at me confused of what I'm doing. I turned all the Aces face down, and happiness took all over me "There's one card missing" I told him, I knew something wasn't right.

"What card?" The PD asked

"If I had another Ace, does Taeyeon wins?" I asked him

"Yeah, of course" he nodded, not understand what I mean.

"There is Ace missing" I said holding all the Aces in front of him then turned them for him to look at the other side of the cards,

"Is this some type of magic or something" Wheein said,

I laughed so hard "No"

"She is right" the PD stood from his seat surprised,

"I knew it" I threw the cards on the table excitedly "Ha Ha, I knew I didn't see it" I looked back at Taeyeon, "There's and Ace card in your nametag" I walked to her "The one that is written on it" I made her turn and before I take it off, I said what was written on the card "She played the Queen as if afraid someone else would play the ace." I ripped it off and the Ace fell

"YESSS" I screamed so loud, she probably lost her hearing,

"This is the best plot twist the show has ever had" The PD said shocked

"This is impossible, how did they plot this unintentionally" I heard the MC saying but I was too busy taking the Ace off the floor, then I went to the PD to show it to him.

"This was a hint for you" He said still in shock

I laughed "I understood the hint late, but now it's a winning card" I said and he nodded clapping

"There's is change guys, we have the best unintended plot twist ever" He said bringing the flowers and for Taeyeon a gold Ace Card. "The winner of this episode is Taeny team" he said

I felt so happy that I immediately turned to her to see her surprised shocked, unexpected smile all over her face. I don't care if there is people or cameras around, my feelings are all over the place, so I ran to her and hugged her so tight.

"Your smile looks so beautiful too" I whispered and after it, I felt her wrapping her arms around me.


	18. Chapter 18

After we broke the hug, "How? How did you put that there again?" she looked at me surprised with a wide smile on her face "You killed me because I was trying to find ways to make you take the Aces I have but every single time I lose one, you put another." she laughed, and I was just standing there looking at her smile. I finally was able to make her smile like that, so wild, so alive, so beautiful, so mesmerizing.

She took the Ace card that was in her nametag "Can I keep this?" she asked the PD

"Yeah of course" He said then "But isn't this better?" He gave her the gold Ace

She looked at it, and said "No," then turned to look at the plastic card in her hand "This is way better" she showed it to me "How? When? Like seriously I'm blown away" she kept her eyes locked with mine

"When Jongkook took your nametag off, I put it" I said

She crossed her eyebrows surprised, "But I saw the Ace on the floor, and you stepped on it" she said, now I'm the one surprised noway...she saw that!

"I sneaked another Ace under when I put your nametag back" I said and she nodded

"Good job, you played me well" She walked to me and gave me another high five.

"You played me good too, I didn't even know you were the Ace or something," I laughed

"Yeah but this," she lift the Ace "This is another level"

I nodded, YESSS I MADE HER IMPRESSED...you did good Tiffany, yessss you did

They finished the shooting and then they made all of us take pictures together. Happily I turned to look at Taeyeon who wasn't there! Did she leave already?

I saw the girl that I believe is Taeyeon's assistance. She was standing beside the bathroom door with Taeyeon's stuff in her hand. If she's standing there, then Taeyeon must be in the bathroom.

I turned to Yuri, "I will be right" I said walking to the bathroom

I walked past that girl without looking at her or saying anything, I opend the door then entered couple of steps inside before I saw Taeyeon leaning down to the sink, washing her hands.

I looked at her admiring every inch of her, but it all ended when I noticed the color of the water falling from her hands is red!?

I walked to her concerned "Are you okay?" I said looking on her left hand; she was bleeding.

When she saw me she immediately took her hand away and covered it with tissues. She closed the water then said "Yeah I'm totally okay, I'm still alive" She giggled awkwardly then put more tissues abover her hand to dry it and to cover it but her hand was still bleeding and I can see blood making red circles in the white tissues.

"You hurt yourself?" I walked closer to her

She took a step back away from me "It's nothing" she smiled, hiding her hand away

"Let me see," I said lifting my hand up to her, I was prepared to use words that will convince her to show me but she didn't even fight back she willingly moved her hand to me and allowed me to see it. I was shocked that I didn't even need to say another word...

I held her hand, "Does it hurt?" I slowly took the tissues away.

"Yeah a bit" she said and I can feel her hand shaking

The wound was like a small circle but a little bit deep and blood was still coming out; it looked painful "How did it happen?" I wiped the blood around it.

"Mm I...mmm"

I looked at her and she didn't seems like she wants to tell, I kept looking at her, waiting for her,

"Hit a nail" she said looking away,

Confusingly, I said "A nail..." shittt no she didn't do that... "Oh my god...don't tell me you put your hand behind my head when I hit that wall?" I was shocked and speechless,

She pulled her hand away, "It's nothing, don't mind it"

"No~" I held her hand again and softly pulled her to me, "It makes since why my head was fine" she really did that...

"Hand is fine, but head would've been a disaster, we don't want that" she told me then looked away.

"Stay here don't go away, I have small first aid box in my bag" I let go of her hand,

"Okay" She said like a kid

"Just keep holding that" I put the tissue on it even though I know it's wrong but there is no option. I let her hand then looked at her again before I ran out to look for Yuri to ask her where she put my bag.

"Hey Yuri" I pulled her away from the other mangers she was talking to,

"Done?" she asked me

"No...we kind of have emergency" I said "Do you have my bag?"

She started to freak out, "ARE YOU OK?" she yelled

"Relax, I'm fine but Taeyeon isn't" I held her shoulders "I will tell you later but now let's go get the Aid box"

She nodded and she walked towards the lockers room, " Taeyeon is hurt? How?" she asked while opening the door for me,

"My head was about to hit the nails on the wall but she put her hand under my head, so instead her hand hit the nail so hard, it's bleeding" I tried to say it in a way that won't scare her, because Yuri can be freaked out easily

She looked at me shocked "She's bleeding?" she shouted unaware that she's so loud. Well I guess my way didn't work...

"No...yes...but not much, let's just hurry up"

We walked back to the bathroom; Taeyeon looked at me the second I entered. She seemed worried that it might've been someone else but then her face showed relief when she saw me.

She smiled dorkly, "Blood stopped"

"OH MY GOD" Yuri shouted again, making Taeyeon jump in her place, in shock. I was fine I'm used to her shouting all of a sudden when scared.

"That's alot of blood" she said looking at the tons of red tissues on the sink

"It's nothing don't worry" Taeyeon told her,

Yuri breathed then walked to her, she held her shaking hand and looked at it. She kept looking then suddenly hit Taeyeon's shoulder

Taeyeon looked at her blankly...

"That's very small, you guys scared the hell out of me" Yuri said

"You scared yourself" I told her, while looking at Taeyeon who was nodding but I can see that she is in pain and it's hurting my heart. "It's small but probably deep, 'cause the blood is not stopping" I walked to stand beside Taeyeon.

"Yeah probably" Yuri said while opening the Aid box

She cleaned the wound and after put on it some medicine, she closed it then told Taeyeon "I did that but it's better to go check a doctor, you know 'cause infections and all that,it's a nail maybe a very old nail at the end so see a doctor better"

"Yeah, of course, I will" she said "Thank you"

"Always welcome" Yuri let her hand, "We better get going, let's go" She took her stuff and walked out.

Taeyeon put her hand on my shoulder, "Thank you" she said then walked to the sink to clean the mess that was there

"No... thank you, you saved my head" I said giggling and she chuckled. I went to help her "But thank you seriously, if you didn't put your hand...honestly I can't imagine what would've happened..."

She turned her head to look at me, "You don't have to thank me, as I said hand is fine wouldn't matter that much but head would be a problem" She continued cleaning but then stopped and looked at me again "You were scared, to the point you didn't realize what was happening around you...that's a second reason why I did it"

She noticed...did she sense anything...? God she can notice things so fast

"Third reason, my mission was to protect you and make you win, so... I did it" she added

So she did it for the game? Maybe...probably...why would she do it for another reason...ah right she did it because nail in my head would be a disaster...

I smiled "I'm still surprised of what happened, I didn't even think you might be an Ace but I was pretty sure you knew that I was the Queen" I said looking at her throwing the tissues in the trashcan

"I didn't know from the beginning tho, you really hid it well" she turned to me "Guess when I found that you were the Queen?"

"Mmmm" I leand back on the wall, "When we were playing the chosen games?" I guessed

"Yeah," she nodded

I stood straight surprised "Really?"

"It was when we jumped, your card showed" she chuckled "Actually it was about to fall but I held it, and pushed it back in."

"N way...really? I didn't feel it" I said crossing my arms

She giggeld "I guess you were too scared, but you will see it when they air the episode" she walked to the door and opened it for me.

I walked first and Taeyeon followed. We went to where Yuri parked the car.

When we got close to the car, Taeyeon stoped and stood a bit far "Aren't you comeing?" I asked her,

"No, no I have to go get the car or Kurt will kill me" She said giggling,

"Your car is extremely far away from here, we will drop you" Yuri told her,

She shook her head, "I called a texi, also it's a bit late you should go rest, tomorrow we have a very early flight" she said "For the photoshoot" she added

"Isn't it after tomorrow?" Yuri said confused

"It's already past 12, we are in the next day" She said giggling and deep inside I know that Yuri wanted to come out and kick her ass

"My God you are so specific with time" Yuri said astonished

Taeyeon nodded serious, "To me, every second in my life count; we can't buy time so I try to make sure that every minute passed me well" she said, then lift her hand up "Thank you for this, I have to go" she walked away just like that.

Yuri and I stayed still for awhile before the girl next to me said confused "What the hell? Is she a robot or something?"

"I have no idea, don't ask me...I'm as confused as you are" I said putting the seatbelt,

"Do you think she sleeps? Or eat? Or stop for a second to rest?" Yuri turned the car on

"I sometime think that she always have something to do or somewhere to be at, I just don't know"

"Are you going to the hospital?" Yuri walked me to the door

"Yeah" I took the car keys from her

"Did you even sleep well? We came back late, and it's so early now" she asked

"Don't worry I slept well, also I will come back soon; I have to prepare for the flight" I said opening the door

"Oh yeah right, the flight is early morning" she held the door and sent me off

I went to the hospital and the nurses told me that she's awake, I can go to her. I knocked the door softly then opened it, "Hi~"

She lift her head up, "Hey~"

I walked in gently "How are you?"

She tried to sit her body up, but she was too weak, her thin arms were shaking so I ran to help her, "Thank you," she sat up, "I'm totally fine, I'm still alive" she smiled answering my question

I stood still in my place for a second looking at her, and her words played in my mind.

"Why you are there, come sit here beside me" she tapped on the bed beside her, where she moved to the right to make a space for me.

I shock the thoughts out of my head and webt to sit beside her, "So I heard you and Taeyeon are filming Running Man together" she said

"Yeah we finished yesterday" I held her small hand

"You already filmed it?" she said surprised

"Yeah, I went back home at 3am yesterday...I mean today"

"Ohh you finished filming so late!" she said

"Yeah, I asked to give her a ride but she said she have to go"

"You let her go alone?"

"Well she always do what she wants, she doesn't listen...I asked but she rejected...yesterday she hurt her hand, I wonder if she listened and went to the doctor to check it" I hope she did...now I'm worried

She leaned on my shoulder, "Did you ask her?"

"No...should I?"

"Yeah, she might be happy that you asked about her"

"No...no, she will be mad if I did because I will probably annoy her and she probably have million thing more important, also this type of things won't make her happy"

"Then what will make her happy?"

I looked at her and she was looking up at me, "I don't know"

"You will never know, if you will never ask" She said

Should I? No no I shouldn't...she is always busy if I talked to her now then she will definitely get annoyed...also we've never really texted each other...or even called...no no I'm not doing it

"Enough of me, tell me what's new with you?"

She lift her head up, looking done on her fingers "I'm gonna do the surgery again" she said

I left her head up, "But isn't doing it again is very dangerous?"

"It is, but it's all better than the fire that is burning me from the inside...also I want to tell you something but I don't want you to tell me to not say it or to not think about it..." she looked down again

"Tell me," I told her even though I know what she wants to tell me

"I honestly want that surgery to be the last, even though I know it is impossible for it to help me or even to take it away...whether it's going to work, or it's not going to...either ways I want it to be the last...after it I want to be left alone, even if I will have one month or even just one day I want to be left alone and I want to leave this place...don't get me wrong it's not that I don't like this place, I love it...it's just that I'm tired" She said

And I couldn't help but to start crying...it's unfair for a kid to go through that but it's also selfish of everyone here to stop or even tell her what to do after all those years she went through and how hard those days were...

"Hey...you promised no tears in here" She moved her hand to my face and wiped my eyes, "I will be fine but I will be happy and better if you came to my surgery day" she told me smiling and I could never say no to her,

"Of course I will come...of course I want to come and be by your side" I said hugging her softly

"It's going to be two days away from today, a day after your photoshoot with Taeyeon" she said smirking and I covered her face with my hand while turning my head blushing...this kid

"Ah right I brought your fav candy also they said you are allowed to eat it" I took the candy out of my bag

"Been waiting for them forever" she said taking the candy bag from my hand

"But hey don't eat all of them...one whenever you feel like, don't force all of them, not good for you"

"Okay okay"

I leaned back watching her, fighting herself to choose one flavor to eat first...I wish I can do something to help her but sometimes there are somethings that give no chance and no choices...

"Right~" she put the candy bag aside then took the remote control, "There's this channel that mentioned Taeyeon today, I saw it early morning...I think they will repeat it now" she turnned the TV on and started looking for the channel,

"What did they say about her?" I asked

"They were showing clips of her previous photoshoot also they showed little part of the photoshoot you did together" She continued to scroll through the channels "Let me just find it" she started to get frustrated; she can't find the channel

I looked with her, but we went through all the channels on the TV which were hundred and something...but we couldn't find the channel. We probably didn't because they didn't air it again.

She put the remote down, and she looked sad

"Hey there, it's fine if I didn't see it, at least you did now you can tell me about it. How was it? Did you like it?" I played with her hair and she looked at me

"It was a small clip of your photoshoot with her but I realized something."

My eyebrow rose surprised, "You did?" she nodded, "Tell me what did you realize"

She fixed the way she's sitting to face me, "I noticed and realized that If Taeyeon only looked in your eyes just for once she would immediately see that you like her and would feel how you truly feel for her. I feel in love with the way you were looking at her, I found love there" She told me, I smiled then looked away shaking my head

"I saw it in your eyes and the way you look at her...you were nervous but some clips you look so confident and relaxed, you were enjoying it" she winked then clapped her hands in joy,

"Shhhh" I held her hands so she'd stop, "So you think if she looked in my eyes she will notice, is it that noticeable?"

She nodded while chewing on her candy,

I looked away thinking, if it is that noticeable why she didn't notice yet? Maybe what's in my mind is not what she has in her mind, maybe she doesn't see me, the way I see her...

"My eyes and everything in me calls out for her but she doesn't notice... what I should do?" I said so desperate...yes I'm desperate now. She makes me frustrated and confused ughhh

She held my hand tight "Maybe she is noticing, but she hesitating to do anything. You know if something happened between you two, people won't stop and will probably hurt both of you"

"If she just say the words...in a heartbeat I would go to her at once, I wouldn't hesitate and I wouldn't mind anyone..."

She looked at me surprised, then nodded "I hope one day you two will be together and you will really not give a banana about anyone" she said hugging me

I hope so too


	19. Chapter 19

"It's the shooting day!" Yuri walked in and I was already awake laying down on my bed looking at the ceiling

I turned to her, when she sat beside me.

"You don't look that exited" she said

I pulled myself up " I am, I'm just nervous...scared" I said

"Of what?" Yuri said confused

"You know of the shooting, of her..." I stood up and walked my way to the bathroom "Of what I'm feeling, I'm just scared of everything"

"Awww" Yuri walked after me

"Don't aww me" I said before washing my face.

"Honestly there is nothing you should be afraid of, you are very beautiful, you have amazing personality and you are a very strong woman" she gave me a towel

I dried my face before saying "Really? You think I'm a strong woman?" Here comes my insecurities

She pulled me out of the bathroom "Of course, you are the most powerful woman I've ever met" she made me stand in front of my closet "Now let us see what you will pack because you don't have time"

Yuri pulled my shorts down then smirked before asking me "What's her favorite color?"

I looked at her confused I don't know... maybe bordo she wears that color a lot" I said "Why asking?"

"This" she pointed on my panties "They won't work, you need to change them" she opened my drawer and started looking inside

"Yuri~" I cried "Stop~ you are making me more nervous. Don't make those thoughts enter my mind"

"I'm not, you just have to look good. Who knows?" She left her eyebrows then gave me pair of lingerie

"Seriously?!" I looked at her for seconds then took it from her "Then you tell me you are not doing anything"

"You still took it, come on admit it you want that" she said

"I only took it to put it away, because this will be horrible to wear in a long flight...you are crazy" I pushed her out "go finish your stuff and I'll do mine" I closed the door behind her

I put the lingerie in the bag "Ughhh if I went crazy it's because of that blonde girl"

After packing, we took the bags outside where the doorman help us putting them inside the car.

Yuri started driving to the airport where the private jet is.

The sun was rising and the air is clean and fresh. Everything quiet and when we walked out of the car the pilot and cabin crew were waiting for us. I looked around for her but it seemed like she didn't come yet.

"Hello Ms. Hwang, I'm David your pilot for this flight" he said shaking my hand "These are the cabin crew they will be there to service" he pointed on the three guys behind him

I smiled with a little head bow "Thank you"

They walked us to the jet, and I tried to keep my expressions. It was so luxurious, the brown leather on the chairs and the shining wooden bar, with crystal glasses above it with magazines wall beside it. The whole inside was breath taking, it's like a hotel instead of a jet.

"Where is the PD" Yuri asked,

"The PD is already on the way to the location, he told me to tell you to enjoy the flight and have a great time" the pilot said before walking to his cabin

I sat down and Yuri went to check the bags and answer her phone which rang suddenly and scared me a little. I sat down to fix my hair and make up before she comes,

"Guess what?" Yuri walked in

"What?"

"You are invited to the new Crown Plaza hotel opening party" she said sitting in front of me

"Really?"

"Yeah, it's gonna be next week"

"That's going to be so big" as I said, a black cadillac car parked beside the jet

The pilot walked out of his cabin "Ms. Taeyeon is here"

He walked out with the crew to greet her.

She walked out of the car, wearing black sweatpants and a black galaxy hoodie. The pilot hand shake with her and they walked her inside. She looked at me the second she entered even though Yuri stood up to say hi to her.

"Hi" she said back and Yuri gave her a slight hug. I respectfully stood up and walked to them.

After hugging Yuri while still looking at me,

"Good morning" I nervously said, looking at her moving close to me,

"Good morning" she smiled softly moving her body in for a hug... I tried to soften my body and pulled my arms up to hug her but this time her body stiffened, we pulled away at the same time and I looked at her but her eyes weren't looking at me.

"How are you?" She asked, still not looking at me

"Good" I slowly turned to see what she was looking at, and the only thing in my view is the magazine wall.

"Excuse me" she gently put be aside and walked to that wall. I can feel a halo of anger around her as she held one of the magazines firmly in her hand.

I can see the colors red, yellow and on the side something like a car crush and a picture of a woman on the front with a title of 'they can't live without each other, so she followed him to death. The true meaning of love'

My eyebrows crossed confused, what's that?

She tightened her grip on the papers, then turned around "Seriously?" She told the pilot whose eyes went wide

"You were well aware that I was coming here..." she walked to him "Yet, this is here!"

The pilot bowed his head down "I apologize, I didn't notice it, it shouldn't be here since the first place. I'm not sure how it entered my jet, please forgive me. This won't happen again"

She clenched her teeth before taking a deep breath "Sure" she said then left the jet.

"SERIOUSLY?!" the pilot yelled. I looked at him scared

"I'm sorry, I forgot to take it away" one of the cabin crew said

The pilot pointed at him "I told you to not bring it in since the beginning. You know how fucked up that is?"

"It's just a magazine" the guy answered

The pilot looked at him surprised but anger is all over him "Just a magazine?" he pushed the guy toward the door "Get the fuck out of my jet, go think of how horrible what you did is...piece of shit" he kicked him out of the jet, then fixed his clothes before turning to us, "I apologize" he said then walked to his cabinet

I looked out to see her and she was standing beside the trash, shattering the magazine papers to little pieces; throwing them inside the trash. She did page by page then she opened bottle of water and poured it all on them trying to leave nothing of that magazine behind it.

She stood there for seconds before walking her way back. And before getting in she stood in front of the guy who was smoking beside the car; she took the cigarette from his mouth and threw it down on the floor before stepping on it.

When she walked in; the crew closed the door and the pilot started the preparation for taking off.

Yuri was sitting beside me, so Taeyeon sat in front of me. She put her seatbelt, crossed her fingers, eyes closed, head down and she stayed like that through the take off and couple of minutes after. I kept looking at her from time to time through the whole thing. till I heard her sniffing; I looked at Yuri but she was already sleeping.

I took my seat belt off and went sit beside her.

When she felt my presence, she left her head up and looked at me

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah" she took a breath then shook her head

"It's just sickly funny how people use dollars to market things, they will spend millions on things as long as it's gonna make more for them. Imagine things go through writers, editors, reviewers, before being published, it's astonishing that all those people approved for that fucked up article to be put out to people. They will do anything without thinking twice of the consequences." She said crossing her arms

I didn't know what to do but look at her,

She turned to me and suddenly gave me a small smile. I smiled back a little mesmerized of the sudden smile

"I remember when I was a kid, my father had this black Jeep, he used to pick me up from school everyday with my mom; it was the best part of my day, of my life actually, I used to wait the whole time in school just for that minute when I go and see them outside waiting for me." She shrugged her shoulder tilted her head "Even though I was a kid I knew my dad wasn't doing well but they always were smiling and happy when they see me."

"Parents are always like that" I said trying to go with the conversation so she could talk more about herself. She nodded agreeing with me

"One day, I ran out as fast as I could and saw them waiting for me, I hopped in the car all smiling, they were smiling back and they asked about my day like they always do." The smile now disappeared

"On that day they told me we were going to the countryside and that was my dream, I loved every time we go there because It would be so quiet and beautiful. Every time we go there my dad would feel better and he would forget all the troubles he had. I used to jump to the backseat put my head out while my dad drive fast, the cold wind and the view always tempted me. That backseat was my life, I would sleep, read, play there and on that day my body decided to take a nap because school was exhausting" she put her head down and moved her hair back "and till this day I wish I didn't."

"Why ?" I asked obliviously

She turned to me "Because when I opened my eyes it was dark and all I was feeling is pain. I heard my mom telling me not to open my eyes but my eyes are open and everything is still black with line of light shining. I put my hands on my eyes and felt my mother's hand. I heard her whisper in my ear 'Please baby I beg you don't open your eyes, if you love your mommy don't open your eyes' and I loved her so much, so I kept my eyes closed and she told me to put my hands on my ear, I did but I could still hear her crying and whining in pain, I could still smell the smell of burned things and I could still feel the heat of fire and after that I knew that the situation was bad. The pain put me down but my brain was still working and I realized that I will never see my dad again and that the picture of him turning to look at me from the front seat while smiling is going to be the last picture of him in my head."

I pulled myself back shocked, that car on the magazine was their car... it's the news of the accident.

"They kept me in the hospital bed for a long time even though I was fine but they were trying to hid the fact that my dad is dead." She pulled her wallet and took a small picture of her dad

I took the picture from her "Oh my god I know him" I said, when I was a kid he was everywhere on the news

She nodded "He was a great businessman, he left a lot of money behind him, a lot of properties for us. It was me and my mom... it was only the two of us, she was all that left for me. I loved her so much, I loved her even more than my dad, I loved her so very much to the point that she was my everything, I'd die for her. But sometimes love doesn't help with what's inside someone's head."

I looked at her confused, what does she mean?!

"She started to drew away and if you were close to her or not you can see her going to that dark place, she was empty, halo...I felt her losing herself to nothing. Every time I tried to talk to her she would push me away, saying I'm just a kid I won't understand...she said she loved me but deep inside I know that it isn't real, if she loved me she would've talked to me, she would've stoped wasting herself. She threw everything my dad left, she lost it all."

Anger took over her voice as she continued to talk about her mom.

"I hate her, I hate the one I remember her... hollow on the floor, I was very young to know anything about death but I knew she wasn't on this earth anymore. She gave her whole life to that pills bottle, she took them for the last time and they came to took her back from us. They made me sit in a room with people I don't even know, with a lady sitting in front of me staring at me while she takes notes of my behavior, questioning me with her eyes wondering why I'm not sad or crying. I hated the way she looked at me while telling the other lady beside her that I might be traumatized, or just emotionless freak kid. They forced me to see my mom, It took everything in me not to shout and scream in her funeral, with that guy taking nonsense, talking about things that my mom wasn't, all that good stuff she didn't even do. Talking about the beautiful relationship between me and her that we didn't even have. I just wanted to leave but I was forced to sit till the end and to go with people that I barley I know, people that judged me with a million eyes, that watched me and talked about me. Every time I try to remember her I see her taking those pills, now every time I smell a whiff of a cigarette I picture her on the floor laying there frozen with no emotion and no heart beat."

She pointed where the magazines are "But I guess they loved each other so much, to the point she left us and followed him." She said referring to that news magazine she took.

I'm shocked of what she said but I moved my hand to her shoulder trying to comfort her, "I'm..." she cut me before i finish

"Don't!" She said, "I've heard it enough" she stood up then went to the back of the plane

I looked up to Yuri and she was looking at me, I whispered "Did you hear?"

She nodded, "I did"

I looked back to see her and she sat there covering her head, and I guess she's trying to sleep.

We arrived to our destination and it was very cold, they took us to the resort where we will stay and shoot in. I went to our room with Yuri and Dan was waiting there for us,

"Hi ladies how was the flight?" He asked, all smiley

"All good" Yuri said putting her bag aside

"And you ?" He looked at me

I smiled "Good"

He stood up from the chair "Keep up the smile, because this is going to be an amazing shoot. It's either we will finish with nice pictures or freeze to death" he giggled walking to the door then pointed to the window "We will shoot there, If you want to go check it you can, we have two hours to rest then we will call you to come. Now I have to go fix the problem that happened on the plane, bye bye" he opened the door and saw Taeyeon standing there

"Oh miss Kim I was going to you just now" he said

"We will talk later, can you give us a minute" she said moving him aside

"Yeah of course" he walked away and she stood there looking at me

"Can I come in" she said

I walked to her "Yeah of course"

She stayed in her place "I just want to apologize for what happened earlier, we are supposed to come work and have fun her I just ruined your time so I apologize"

"Don't talk nonsense" Yuri said

She looked at her then at me

"You don't need to apologize, it's all good we still have a lot of time for fun" I said

"Thank you, I'll leave you to rest now" she walked out of the room, closing the door slowly

After we took a rest and changed to something more warm and comfy; Anna came to call us to go and start preparing so we followed her all the way to a room that was turned to dressing room.

"Good morning Miss Tiffany," the dresser said as walked in

"Hi" I excitedly said as I saw Taeyeon siting on Thor chair waiting... hopefully for me.

She smiled then turned for the hair stylist to finish literally Messing her hair.

"Please sit here" the other hair stylist told me and I did as she said.

"It's way cold outside, hopefully those clothes will keep you going" the dresser came to us with the clothes

"Only this? It's freezing outside" Yuri said looking at the flight fluffy sweaters and short white shorts

"Seen worse" Taeyeon stood up "blue for me" she took them from the dresser and went to change

"That leaves the pink for you" she told me

"No complain" I took mine and went to change.

I walked out after dressing and she was standing beside the changing room door, she looked at me before saying "You look good in everything"

She took me by surprise, which made me stupidly giggle. "You look like squishy doll in that fluffy sweater" I said trying to cover my blushing

She rose her eyebrow then crossed her arms "What do you mean? I know I'm short but squishy doll never heard that one" she turned to walked and I Followed.

They took us to the first place we will shoot at and it was a big room that looks like a studio apartment, big bad with an open kitchen and there's balcony overlook the Snow field outside.

The room was way warmer than outside so it was a good starting. Dan told us that the concept they want is to be natural day of a normal vacation to a snowy mountain. So they made us start from the bed they said they want us to go from their doing fun natural things around the room then we go out; we will do all that without stopping and they will take the photos while everything is spontaneous. For both of us that was easy, no particular thing to do or act or anything, just go with the flow and apparently we are good at that.

"Bed~ I'm so sleepy" Taeyeon through herself on the bed. I sat on the side looking at her,

She pulled her head up and looked at the staff "Are the sheets clean?" She said in a silly way and I just giggled at her.

"Yes," Dan yelled at her

"Okay okay, relax" she pulled herself up and sat with her legs crossed, she tapped on the bed beside her for me to sit. I shook my head refusing

"Wow really?" She looked surprised

I stood up and walked to the side of the bed, and she moved her whole body position to face me

"So tell me, how are you in this cold morning?" I asked her playing with the bed sheet

"Still alive" she said and crawled a little close to me "you know you should be here so we can like have something to shoot" she told me before moving her hand to hold my arm

"I know but there's something on the sheets" I said pointing behind her

Where she looked behind her "there's nothing" she said then turned her head back to me and I hit her with one of the pillows but suddenly feather is everywhere.

"Oh my god" i said in shock looking at her full of feather,

She started to cough hard; I hopped on the bed "Are you okay" I said and she shook her head, "I'm sorry" I tried to move the feather and she kept coughing then suddenly she moved her hand fast and hit me with the pillow making the feather double

"Ha ha got you" she stood up and jumped on the bed making all the feather on it fall on me

"I swear to god..." I pulled myself up to take another pillow and she jumped of the bed and started running, I followed her around till I was able to hit her from the back and made her fall down,

She started laughing hysterically as I kept softly hitting her till the feather ran out of the pillow.

"We didn't pay for that but keep going" Dan said shaking his head

Taeyeon gave him thumb up then laid on the floor trying to catch her breath after laughing too hard. I looked down at her while smiling uncontrollably, I'm going to go crazy because of her happy face.

"Okay I need a cup of coffee now" She lift her hand up for me,

"Don't pull me down" I said pointing at her

She giggled, "I won't"

I held her hand and pulled her up, she stood in-front of me, really close "Thank you, that was a very good hit" she said softly chuckling

God this new sensation keeps growing in my heart makeing it go crazy every time she looks at me with her insane eyes gaze. I smiled trying to blink and look somewhere else so she won't see me in that way.

"It's okay if you guys want to make coffee we can keep going" he said and Taeyeon again gave him thumb up

We went to the kitchen and started looking around to see if there is anything, I found the cups, and took two out and Taeyeon was still looking for a coffee.

"There's espresso machine here there must be an espresso pods or something" Taeyeon said looking in all the cabinets

"The box is in the upper cabinet" Dan said

"The one up" Taeyeon said "how am I supposed to get it from there?"

"I don't know" he said

"I will lift you and you take it" she told me and I immediately said no

"Come on I won't drop you promise, we need hot coffee before we go out there" she said pointing outside,

"You have a point" I walked to her

"Sorry" she said before she put her hands around my thighs then she left me up. I opened the cabinet and started looking for the pods box,

"I can hear a song I like, can you please put the volume a little bit up" Taeyeon told the staff

I can hear her mumble the lyrics and I wanted to look at her.

I found the box and she put me down. She took two pods out and put one in the machine then waited

"You got your phone in your hand but you not callin'" she started singing and I smiled to her, she started nodding her head with the song "Now you drinkin' Why you simpin'" she looked at me and continued singing "My doors open for you why you keep on thinkin' Whatchu thinkin' about? Won't you come right in?"

My heart skipped beats not just one and she just smiled to me and turned to change the pod for the other cup.

She gave me my cup, then took hers "should we go outside?"

"Sure" I said

The second we walked out we froze, it was very cold, that the hot coffee wasn't doing anything,

"Are you trying kill us" Taeyeon told him while jumping in her place

"If you moved around you won't die" Dan said

"I hate you" she said

I sneakily made a small ball of snow and then threw it at her

"HOLE MOTHER OF THE EARTH" she yelled and I started laughing

She took a sip of the coffee then put it down and started making a bigger snow ball than mine "FUCK ME THATS SO COLD" she lifted it up and started running after me, she threw it but missed and I kept laughing

"Why are you so fast" she cried siting on the snowy ground "My ass is freezing" she said laughing, I went and sat beside

"Would you believe if I told you that I've never did a snow angel" she said

I looked at her shocked "Really?"

"Yeah never" she laid down "let's make one" I moved aside from her then laid down

She started moving her arms and legs, we did it for a minute then stopped and slowly stood up to see it.

She giggled "that's very beautiful"

"It is" I looked at her, she was very happy

"Yours looks more like an angel" she said

"Yours too"

She laughed "mine looks like a dead butterfly"

I uncontrollably hit her arm and said "You are crazy" She shook her head looking at me, "what about snowman?"

"Never" She said

"Oh my god, you have to build him"

"Okay" she sat down and starting making a big snow ball, I sat down in-front of her and started helping her.

We spend a lot of time building him, but when we finished we were happy.

"What do you think?" I asked her

And she smiled "beautiful but very creepy" She is like a little kid,

"Did you take picture?" She asked them and Dan gave her thumb up

"Good" she went to the snowman and took his head off and threw it on

"Oh my god, that's heavy" I said pushing the snow off me.

"It is heavy I can't stand anymore" She fell down laughing,

I went to her and without thinking I sat on her body and started putting snow all over her, and just continued laughing.

She pulled her back up and hugged me making all the snow fall on me and I felt some going under my sweater, so I hopped off her and started jumping and screaming trying to make the snow fall off. She stood up and started helping me while laughing.

When we removed all the snow, I lift my hands up and they are red, "I can't feel my hands anymore" she walking to her coffee cup "the coffee is cold now" she cried while giggling "there is no use"

"Mine as well" I said and she came close to me and held my hands with hers and moved them to her mouth, then started blowing warm air on them. I felt the chills all over my body. I felt my legs shaking and I'm about to melt.

Lord this sensational feelings she give me...

"I'm freezing" she whispered on my hand,

I tried to speak "Can we go back in?"

Dan answered "just a little bit more"

"Guess we will die here today" she giggled while still warming my hand

"I think we will" I said looking at her mouth while she is blowing the warm air

"Hey is your shirt wet?" She said looking at me in concern

"A little bit yes" I said

She let go of my hands and held the shirt and undressed me, my eyes went wide on her action.

She moved me closer and pulled her sweater up and made me go under it...wear it with her.

I could feel her bare skin, without holding myself I hugged her putting my warm hands on her back and my head on her collarbone. I could hear her heartbeat and it was way slower than mine. And that hit me so I moved a little bit away so she won't hear my fast heartbeat but the sweater was making us stay close.

I looked at her and she was looking at me, her eyes were looking so deep in mine, I felt like her eyes could see everything in me

I tired to ease myself up by moving my hand to hold her ears they were very red which means she's cold, I smiled to her trying to break her gaze but she didn't move her eyes off mine.

I might be a little crazy but this time I'm not I could feel like she is all over my body, I could feel her touching me just by her eyes gaze just by the way she is looking at me.

I softly pushed her head to me and put my lips on hers and I felt like I touched life...her lips were so soft, wet and very cold like I kissed the surface of an ice block...

When I went back to my consciousness I pulled myself away, And was afraid to look at her but my eyes looked at her uncontrollably and she was looking away, with her head to the other side...what have I done?

"Perfect" I heard Dan saying "we got all we need, we can go back inside"

I pulled myself out of her sweater, felt Yuri putting a blanket around me and I turned to her "Yuri I fucked up"

"You didn't..." she said and made me walk inside quickly, I turned to look at her and she was taking my sweater off the ground and then went to take the coffee cups before she walked her way back.

I turned to Yuri "I have to go to the bathroom" I said running to my room before she comes in.

I fucked it up... why did I do that... I should've never done that...but...but the way she was looking at me...I wasn't imagining... I didn't imagine that...why she was acting like that...like she wanted me...no she didn't I was imagining all that...I'm blaming her instead of blaming me for fucking things up...I'm shaking, my hands are shaking...I should relax...Tiffany relax

I pulled myself up and relax then saw her standing in front of the door...fuck, I lost my breath again and my body started shaking.

She walked to me...I felt terrified

"Did they pay you to do that?" She said

And I got all confused, I shook my head no

"Why did you do it?"

I couldn't speak

She nodded then said "you are just like them, you are exactly like them"

"Don't compare me to anyone"

"You know it's my mistake I opened up to you and talked to you about me, I trusted you but now you have something to use and benefit from" She moved close to my and pointed her finger in my face "I don't give a fuck of whatever shit you went through for you to disappear for years and lose everything then come back...I don't care how much shit you had to do to come back to this but you have no fucking right to use me, if you want help ask, don't come and kiss me to get something out of it, you want attention tell me I can get it to you, I have plenty of this bullshit on my plate so tell me what exactly you want from me?"

"Get the fuck out" Yuri held her from the back of her shirt and pushed her back to the door "You better leave before I kick the shit out of you, you are a piece of shit you don't even deserve her"

She looked at me and made sure I saw her before she left

I feel numb, I feel like my heart is bleeding, torn apart...

"Come here you caramel apple" Yuri pulled me into a deep hug.

"Yuri if this is love why did it break me down Why do I feel broken and shattered?"


	20. Chapter 20

I opened the door and popped my head in,

"Hey you came" she put her book down

"The nurse told me you just woke" I walked to her

"Not really I was reading" she tapped on the bed beside her. I sat there and she laid her head on my shoulder "You came" she said

"Of course I did I would never let you go through this alone" I said holding her hand

"Thank you, I love you so much" she put my hand on her heart

"I love you more" I kissed her head

"So tell me how was the shoot?" she asked and reminded me

"I kissed her"

She pulled her head up fast and looked at me "Really?!"

"Yeah but she went off on me and destroyed the hell out of my heart" I said with such a pain

"What?! She did?" She yelled shocked

I nodded my head and tried to hold my tears "she thought I was using her, I don't know why I did that, I've always been that girl that has to play it safe but this time I didn't" I shrugged "I don't want to want her like I do but it's not in my hand"

"Why did she think like that?"

"I don't know, It's been days and I'm still trying to figure out why she said those words" I said frustrated

"Maybe it's just a trust issue, it's only wrong time, I don't think she meant what she said" she tried to make me feel better

"I know it was a wrong time but I don't think she didn't mean it because she made sure I know that she meant each and every word" I said

She shook her head taking her favorite candy out, "Don't think like that"

I sighed "It's my fault I should've been more carful but it wasn't in my hand It's been a very long time since I've felt the way that I do now because of her, she makes me feel like I need her but I don't know how. I swear to god I meant it from the deepest of my heart but the way she showed me that she didn't, tears me apart and even though it hurts in this moment I know that it was my mistake"

"There is no mistake in love, you didn't do anything wrong. You just showed your feelings in the most pure way without force"

Love?!

I looked at her "you think this is love?"

She nodded "It is in its purest form" she said eating her candy

"Then I guess I loved and loved and I lost over and over again" I said taking the candy from her

"You are going into a surgery in a couple of hours, and we are talking about me" i turned to sit in front of her

"It's okay, talking about something other than the surgery makes me less nervous" she said smiling

I put my hands on her check "It will all be okay, I want you to know that I'm here by your side and I will be by your side when you finish, you are not alone you will never alone"

"I know...that what makes me stronger, you make me strong" she said wiping my tears "you should not cry, you cried enough now you...we should focus on the happy things in our life...we both now how short life can be"

I nodded my head "We do"

"Should we pray a little bit before the surgery because I might act cool but I'm a little bit scared" she giggled

I rubbed her head "of course"

We sat down and were about to start praying but suddenly we heard a nose outside like shouting

"What's that?" I stood up to check

"Oh shit," she put her hand on her head

I looked at her worried "Are you okay?"

She stood up "Here she comes" she said sitting on the bed

"Who?!" I said and the door opened

"I DIDN'T SIGN THIS" Taeyeon entered the room yelling

I looked at her confused, she looked at me then turned back to her, like she didn't notice me well

"You will not go through the surgery again, I'm not allowing this. How in the name of god can you do that without talking to me" she walked to her

"I have to" she said

"NO YOU DON'T HAVE TO, we talked about this before" she turned again to me when she felt my presence, she got extra anger and her face turned all red "What the fuck are you doing here?!" She asked me and I stayed quiet because I can't do that, her angry face break me

"She has nothing to do with you, I'm going to do the surgery and I don't care if you agree or not" she stood up to walk to me

Taeyeon looked at me "we will talk later" she said

"Leave her alone, I said she have nothing to do with her" she stood beside me and held my hand to lean on me

"I'm not letting you go through it again, you can't survive it again you will not survive it, I'm not letting you go. I'm your sister I'm your guardian I will not let you do it again" she sat on the chair looking at me, oh my god Taeyeon is her sister?!

"You are no longer my guardian, I signed Tiffany as my guardian" she said and I looked at her shocked...she did?!

"Are you kidding?" Taeyeon said, "Hayeon why would you do that?" and she looked sad more than angry,

"I had to, you didn't give me any chance, you are not helping me Taeyeon" she said

Taeyeon stood up frustrated "How in the name of god I'm not helping, I'm doing everything I could... what else do you want me to do?" I saw the tears gathering in her eyes and in that moment I wanted to stop this because I saw in her eyes how much sacrifice she did.

"I want you to let me go, let go of me that's all I'm asking you...Taeyeon I'm tired, I'm so tired I can't keep up with this I rather go through the surgery and die than stay here and keep going through chemotherapy... Taeyeon it's killing me slowly, it burns and I'm not able to say anything because I know how much you are going through for me but I can't keep up, I'm so tired and in so much pain...I can't keep up the same smile, I'm not as powerful as I was... So I want you to let me go, let me rest I can't take the pain anymore"

Taeyeon shook her head disagreeing, she opened the door left the room without saying a word

Hayeon turned to me, "Can you go see her for me? please" she said

And I nodded for her,

"I'm sorry that I didn't tell you before" she said before I leave

"Don't worry about it"

I went out to look for her and she was siting on the chairs beside the room, I took all my pain from her inside and sat beside her,

"What are you doing here?" She said without looking at me

I took a deep breath and said "Hayeon told me to come check on you"

"No, I mean what are you doing here in the hospital with my sister" she used this exact tone I hate

"First I didn't know that she is your sister, second I'm not going to do this again I'm tired of the way you are talking to me when I didn't do anything" I stood up to leave

"I'm going to find what you are doing here" she said like she is warning me

I turned to look at her, "Do you want me to postpone Hayeon's surgery?" I told her,

"You are her guardian" she said

"She wants you to be by her side. I tried to stop her from doing it but she is really tired of all the chemotherapy. She wants to do it, you should let her do the surgery if this is what she wants she's the one who's going through all that not us" I said

"Do whatever you want, apparently you know her better" she stood up and walked passed me

I tried to stop her "Taeyeon I didn't mean it like that" but she left

I went back to Hayeon who was watching TV and eating her candy. I sat on the chair beside her

"You are sneaky" I was surprised

She looked at me with a smirk

"She is your sister all along and you didn't tell me, you were planning behind my back, oh my god I can't believe it"

She just laughed and continued watching her show

I turned the TV off, "tell me, why were you trying to put us together?"

She looked at me "You two have a lot in common, you two might think you are completely different but you are really alike" she gave me a piece of candy "one day you will realize that"

"Dose she talk to you about me like I talk about her and do you tell her about me like you tell me about her?" I asked wanting the answer very badly

"What is said between me and her stays there and what is said between me and you stays here with us, I don't want to be the reason you two together, I want you two to be together because of your own feelings, I'm just the small connection between you, however the connection Inside your hearts thats the biggest" She said

"What connection she doesn't even care, I'm just like a crazy person who have crush on her and she's scared of me"

She laid on the bed, "If she doesn't care then she doesn't deserve you...maybe she actually doesn't deserve you. Taeyeon can be pain in the ass" she gave me her back and covered her body with the blanket ready to sleep

5 second after what she said, she turned her head "She's pain in the ass but she's not a bad person...she just went through a lot just like we all did, but here we are each of us is dealing with them in a different way" she said then turned back to sleep

I put my head back on the chair and followed her to sleep, it felt like 5 minuets and I felt something moving on me. I opened my eyes sleepy.

I saw Hayeon siting down while the doctor in front of her. Shit I totally forgot her surgery... we didn't postpone it. I pulled myself out of the chair and a blanket fell down, where did this come from?! I turn to my side and Taeyeon was siting beside me, legs crossed with her hand under her chin...looking at Hayeon.

"Good afternoon" happily Hayeon said "I'm going through with the surgery"

Taeyeon looked at me from the side of her eyes then turned away.

"Don't worry about Taeyeon she agreed" she told me and I walked to her, "I'll be okay, just wait for me" she looked behind me "Both of you" she told Taeyeon who on the other hand stayed quiet.

"We will," I held her hand while she laid on the moving bed that will take her inside the surgery room to get prepared.

I leaned down and hugged her very tight, I let go of her when the nurse started moving the bed. Hayeon looked Taeyeon Who was still siting and looking away.

"If I told you I'm not going to follow mom and dad will you come and hug me?" She said and I turned my head away to cover my crying face.

"Liar!" Taeyeon said

Hayeon, pulled her hand out of the bed trying to reach her sister even though she was so far "I promise"

I took step back when Taeyeon stood up, to give them space. She held her hand then lift it up and kissed it.

"I'll be strong for you just like you are strong for me" Hayeon pulled Taeyeon down for a hug

"I know you will" Taeyeon whispered then kissed her sister head before the nurse started pushing the bed out.

We followed her till we were stopped by the surgery nurses, I sat down on the chairs beside the door and Taeyeon sat on the next chair. I stayed quiet while wiping my tears. I turned to look at the girl who didn't shade a tear...and she was looking at me. I turned away but I can still feel her gaze on my. Suddenly she stood up and walked to me.

She held my hand and pulled me up, I looked surprised at her close to me. She took a soft breath then tighten her grip on my hand and started walking pulling me with her.

She opened one of the rooms there, she pulled me in and then closed the door behind her. She pushed me on the door and moved close to me, I kept backing my head till the door gave me no space to run.

"What are you doing" I tried to look away before I have a heart attack

she moved her face so close to me I could feel her breath on my lips,

"You have a daughter here"

I felt my heart sank down to my legs

I put my hand on her mouth and pushed her to the wall "SHUT THE HELL UP," I pushed her harder, "If I ever hear you saying this ever again, I will kill you and believe me I'm not scared of doing it again"


	21. Chapter 21

"I'm sorry" I let go of her and pulled myself away, I softly started hitting my chest trying to calm my heart down...I fucked it up again. My legs were shaking and I can't stand.

"So you will speak?" She said

I kneed down and put my hands on my ears, breathing in and out, no no no no

She put her hand on my shoulder "Hey you okay?"

"Don't touch me" I said in a shaking voice and she took her hand away

I pulled myself up and left the girl whom I hate the most at this exact moment.

I forced myself to drive all the way back to Yuri, even when my vision was blurry, I dizzy and my fingers were numb. I drove away as fast as I could.

I opened the door "Yuri" I was barley able to shout, I was out of breath, my heart was beating fast and my chest hurt.

"What's wrong with you" Yuri ran to me

"I need my medicine, I need it now" I tried to catch my breath

"No!" She pulled my head up to her, "You don't need them, you are over your medicine" she held my shoulders "You are having a panic attack, sit down, relax and breathe slowly" she said and I broke into tears. She hugged me, rubbing my back.

After couple of minutes, I pulled my head up, "She knows about my daughter...Yuri, I lead her to my daughter, This should've never happened"

"Who?!" Yuri asked confused

"Taeyeon..." I said crying none stop

"How? Your daughter is not even under your name, how did she find her...we put no connection of you to her"

"I don't know"

She wiped my tears "It's okay, we will figure things out, it's okay stop crying"

2 weeks or so passed and I spent it all hiding again,

I pulled myself out of the bed, and started dressing up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Yuri asked when she saw me opening the door to leave

"Hayeon went through the surgery and I wasn't there and she probably woke up and I'm not there...I promised her I'll be there" I said before closing the door behind me

I drove to the hospital while trying to keep myself together. I can do it she can't do anything to me or to my daughter...

I walked up without telling the nurses anything and with them seeing me, I walked my way to Hayeon'a room. I was about to open the door; when I over heard Hayeon saying

"You made it this far on your own I get it but lately, that definitely isn't taking you anywhere, I just don't know why you are treating her like that"

"I can't let her close to me" Taeyeon said

"You are stupid and dumb because she deserve a chance but you don't deserve the chances she's giving you" I heard Hayeon soft voice, who are they talking about?

"Maybe I am, maybe in my life I only had one chance to give and I gave it to that god damn piece of shit, I gave her everything and she destroyed it and now I have nothing left to give to her or to anyone" Taeyeon said

"That's bullshit, you can't pretend that there's nothing there...everyone can see it, even you can see the way she looks at you, don't let go of her for a castle made of sand" Hayeon voice barley was hearable

"I'll save the time for you and everyone, if there is feelings or something there then they are not mine"

I couldn't stand out for too long, I knocked on the door before opening it.

"Tiffany" Hayeon whispered

I walked to her without looking at that girl, "you did it" I said hugging her slowly "You made it, I'm so proud of you. I'm sorry I wasn't there"

She held my face with her tiny hand "It's okay, I was told what happened" she side eyed her sister.

"You have to put the oxygen mask back on" Taeyeon said before siting down

"I'll put it for couple of minutes then we will talk again" Hayeon said and I helped her put it back on

I sat on the opposite side of Taeyeon, I can feel her wanting to say something...

She crossed her legs, "So what's her name?" She asked and Hayeon immediately took the oxygen mask off

"Don't start" she said

"You don't let me start with you, hiding all that" Taeyeon told her

"Yeah but she doesn't have anything to do with all that, so leave her alone" Hayeon answered her

"Seren" I stopped both of them

Taeyeon looked at me, then moved her hand through her hair "Don't lie to me" she said

I looked at Hayeon who shook her head,

"I'm not lying" I said

She moved her body to the edge of the chair looking at me like she is investigating me, "Her name is Serenity that's why you kept asking about my tattoo. You signed her under Yuri's brother in law name, making her Yuri's niece instead of your daughter" she said

I angrily bit my lip and started shaking my leg trying to calm myself "What are you trying to get from all this?" I asked her

She sat back "I don't know you tell me"

"How did you know all that, what the hell you doing" Hayeon said very angry

She rose her voice "I am the owner of this hospital, if I want to know something I will know it"

"You the owner?!" Hayeon said shocked

"Yes" Taeyeon sat back

"Are you kidding me?" Hayeon said I shock

"Doctors didn't help in anyway, your case was getting worse I couldn't sit there and do nothing, that's why I built this hospital for you and got the best doctors to work in it, so they could take care of you while knowing that you are around me but here we are" she said

Hayeon suddenly started crying "When did you build it... where did you get all the money from" she said while tears falling none stop

"I worked extra and worked anything, I sold what left from our parents and built it" she said

Hayeon tried to lift her head up "You sold my moms house? Then where the hell are you living?" She said crying

Taeyeon looked away from her little sister "Kurt..." she said

"Oh my god, what about the car is it for Kurt as well?" She asked

Taeyeon nodded

"You are crazy, you are very crazy" Hayeon put her hand on her face "how could you do that? You sold the last thing that left from our parents"

"Our parents are dead, you are not and I'm not planning to let you die that's why I'be decided to sell them and build this hospital, to help lives not to hold into dead souls" Taeyeon said and she was very convincing

Suddenly my phone rang and I turned it silent but I took a peek to see who and it was Yuri, I pulled myself out of the room while both of them were still fighting.

Me -Tell me

Yuri -still at the hospital?

Me -Yes

Yuri -How's everything?

Me -messed up everything is messed, but don't worry all is good I'll tell you later about it

Yuri -Okay I think I will be able to wait till you tell me, anyway when you finish come back fast because you need to choose a dress

Me -Dress why?

Yuri -Girl you have after party to attend today, did you forget?

Me -Oh my god, I'll be on my way now give me ten minutes I'll be there.

I hang up then looked at the room door for a second before pushing myself out of the hospital to my car.

I walked to the appointment, and saw more than twenty dresses handing around the living room and Yuri standing in front of them,

"Hi~" she turned to me

"Wow that's a lot of dresses" I said putting my bag down

"Yes but we have to find only one," she pulled me to stand beside her "So the theme of the after party is space and I was thinking of black dress that has something like galaxy colors on it so I got all these" she said pointing at all the dresses

"Yeah. But that's a lot" I said

"I know but some has blue and white stars and some has red, blue, white, orang yellow" she kept going

"Okay okay Yuri you are stressing out" I said calming her

"We need to pick a good dress for you" she said

"No problem we will" I said looking through all the dresses

I laid down on the sofa after long time of trying to decide which dress to wear "You know what happened today" I told Yuri

"What?" She said while thinking which one to pick

I overheard Hayeon saying something like why you are treating her like that and Taeyeon answer saying that she can't let her close to her. I have no idea who they were talking about however they said something about chances and Taeyeon said that she had one chance and she gave it to a piece of shit, I think she means..."

Yuri interrupted me "Eve" she turned to look at me

"Exactly" I said obviously

"Is the other girl they are talking about is you ?" She asked

"I don't know, hopefully not because she already said if there's something there then they are not hers" I said

"What happened to you not caring about her anymore? Did you already forget what she did?" Angrily Yuri said

"I know, I know it's just that she really really took big part of my heart and even after what she did I'm not able to forget about her, every time I close my eyes I see her it's not in my hands. God knows how much I'm trying but my soul wants her, from the depth of my heart is hurting"

She put her hand on my head then sat beside me "but she doesn't deserve you" Yuri said

"I know but..."

She stopped me "No you are not going to add buts, you had enough of all that so let go and focus on yourself"

I looked at her then nodded

"Good now go wash your face and come pick a dress" she pulled me up and pushed me towards the bathroom.

When I walked out Yuri was standing in the middle holding a daring dress with aesthetic quality, charming with clean lines, the dazzling of the galaxy sparkles were all over the dress giving it exotic look

I change into that stunning dress and I felt the confidence taking over me. I looked at myself for the last time before leaving the house. I took my stuff and Yuri drove off to our stop.

The second we arrived the security opened the car door for me I walked out to my he red carpet and the shining cameras flash, the shouting to look at them and the glitter of all the magnificent, outstanding dresses.

I stood still infront of the cameras trying to get back the glamorous and the fame life back. I smiled for minutes before I was told to move to the next stop which I had to do the same; pose, smile, wave and walk fast out of the cameras eyes for the next famous person to come.

I walked in to the big room where the magic of the after party is happening and it was like a night club I totally forgot the feelings of that. The room was dark with the LED screens everywhere and laser light was deeming the room. A stage with different singers singing on it and with each one the mood of the whole hall will change. Some where dancing, some where drinking and some where literally making out. Just like a bar. I walked around talking to this and that. Meeting people I hadn't met since forever.

I found a place to sit at, then Kurt and Jo walked to me,

"You came together?" I said looking at them matching

"Yes finally" Jo said and Kurt just smiled

If Kurt cane with Jo then She is not here!

"Guess who's going to preform today?" Kurt said after sitting beside me

"Who?" I replied with no interest?

"Taeyeon" he said

I looked at him with surprised "What?"

"The Designer personally asked her to" he told me. When he finished; the light turned off, "That's her" he pointed as the lights started to shine on the stage. He started clapping, as the crowd started cheering for her.

I pulled my chair to the side to be able to see her. As she was preparing the mic to sing.

They started with a harsh piano and slowly the slow beat kicked in the softness of the piano.

"I've been thinking about the future. And I've been thinking about the now, I know we're gonna be together

I just don't know how, " and her voice ring the sad melody making it go smooth

"You know when we get close. Can't deny the tension between us both and I don't wanna pressure you, but I think you need to make a move"

The crowd stood up and I no longer was able to see her, I tried moving to the side to look at her dead eyes. Her breathy voice to my breath away. I looked around and m I know that millions in this room are feeling the same. So I took step back and stayed in my chair.

"I've been waiting, and I'll keep waiting, only forever, only forever" her voice became croaky and I deeply want to look at her but I'm trying to be stronger then that thing that beats inside my chest.

Her voice started getting higher "What if I told you it's too late? What if I say that I can't wait? What if I meet somebody else who doesn't leave me on the shelf?" I felt her brittle soft voice and the words reminded me of what she told her sister, I stood up when I felt myself on the verge of tears. I pulled myself out without the boys noticing me. And as I walked away I heard her singing echo

"I'll give you one more chance, but it only lasts" I stood in my place wanting to leave and wanting stay.

"Only Forever"


	22. Chapter 22

I walked around the empty garden at the back of the building, I looked up to the empty sky. And whispered to whoever is there, "I know my problem is how all my concern is her and I know that my sin is my love for her but if I have a chance I'll hide her in my eyes and I'll stay up all not for her to sleep. My heart have so much love for her and my eyes are full of words but she don't ask, she doesn't care about any of that. She's lost and wondering in her own ways, living the way she wants, and over all that I'm not complaining because I know I can't stop loving her."

I heard steps and loud noses, I turned to look and saw all the guests walking to finish the party outside; so I took steps back and walked in to stay away from them. As I passed between the long walls the hallway got emptier and the more I felt relaxed.

"You know that the song is about me"

I froze in my place

"I hope you didn't think that it is about you because you don't have a chance"

I turned "beg your pardon?"

"I think you heard me pretty well" Eva said walking towards me. I didn't answer her,

"Its all about me, everything she does is about me" she said

I ignored her and turned to walk away

"It's just a matter of time till we get back to each other," she followed me and I kept walking, ignoring her

"No matter how hard you will try I will still be the best she will ever have,"

She is just trying to stand on my nerve

"You know that whatever you say and do to make her like you, well she will never, her heart belongs to me and there will never be any substitute."

I stopped and I felt her presence behind me, don't get angry she is trying, don't feel hopeless you are not desperate. I'll be okay. Don't think of her, don't remember what she said. She means nothing to you...

"She might treat you in a nice way and she might say beautiful things to you but that doesn't mean you mean anything to her that doesn't mean she likes you, and because she makes you feel like you are flying doesn't mean she have anything for you, don't ever think she will return the same feelings you have for her; I own her love and I own her emotions, you will always be a substitute and there will never be a substitute for me"

Numbness clouded my eyes, and thunder was inside my head. Anger coursing through my blood and my whole body. My heart is tormented, spasmed and scorched. Shame infiltrate my bones. And her words twisted me blind.

"Cut it out..."

"That's the truth, Babe tell her...that you are only for me"

"I'm nobody's and I told you to cut it"

I closed my eyes and opened them to see her. I held my body up and walked towards the girl that suddenly was in front of me.

"I deserve more...it's too much of you. I deserve more" uncontrollably my voice rose "I deserve love and affection. I deserve to be loved passionately" I pointed my finger at her "I let you come close to me, I let you hurt me in every way you wanted and you were very small that you enjoyed it. I just wished for you to treat me the way I treated you just for one time then I realized I was delusional and nobody understood me. There are millions like you. I will leave and I swear I will not give a fuck, I will not feel the slightest of pain. Every day I spend around you, your place in my heart gets lower and my feelings for you disappear."

"Tiffany..." Kurt tried to stop me,

"You are emotionless like a bloody statue. You are nothing but a name that's worthless to be mentioned, I was a lucky shot that came to you but your cold, empty heart is fucked up" I pushed Kurt aside, and walked passed her not giving a damn.

I walked out and started partying with the rest of the guests. A drink kept coming and going till I felt my balance is off. I blinked couple of times to see where I should put my feet and where to go. Spinning sensation hit me heavily and I couldn't stand anymore. My eyes closed alone and my dreams were pitch black.

I opened my eyes to loud shouting

"YOU ARE DRUNK," I saw Yuri in front of me, I looked around and I was home.

"Why the hell are you drunk ?" She said

Tried to stand up but no I'm wasted, I looked up at Yuri "They said to see love you have to be drunk ?"

"What the fuck?"

I called "LOVE?!"

I laid my heavy body on the floor "Love please take me and don't return me, take me to the person I love. Please love take me. I don't want to ever see anybody else but her. I'm her prisoner and I have nothing to talk about but her" I talked to Love Like it's a human

I looked at Yuri "Her Love is taking all my life and that's not a way to live" I started drunkly crying " Please take me and make her hold my hand and never leave me and never break me."

I wiped my tears to cry more "Love do you know what I want? I want to take her and not let any human being see her, I want her to become mine. I want her love and I want to be on her mind and I want to continue my life with her beside me" I put my hands on my eyes and continued crying

Yuri sat beside me and played with my hair till I fell back asleep

I woke up next morning in my bed, the room is iced cold and I'm covered tightly. I moved the blanket to the side. And pulled myself out.

Yuri knocked on the door and entered, "Hangover?" She said giving me cup of hot coffee.

"No, I actually feel magnificent" I took the cup and walked out to the kitchen.

"Really" followed me

"Yes" I opened the refrigerator and took out anything to make a sandwich

"What happened yesterday?" Yuri asked

I took my coffee and sandwich then walked out to the living room

"I was pushed to my limit and I realized how I deserve more so I ended everything there is in my head and heart. I feel free now" I said sitting down, I put the cup down and saw the magazine there

"Oh" I took it and the cover picture is the kiss "shit" I looked at it,

"That's going to be controversial, probably is already" Yuri said

"But the picture is very beautiful" I said looking at how her nose and ears were red. She looks relaxed and doesn't seem like she bothered the kiss like she reacted. I smiled at how beautiful that moment was and how the picture showed it magnificently.

"You have interview with Ellen" Yuri said, I looked up at her surprised

"Yesterday you were very drunk couldn't have a conversation with you" she said "After the magazine was released we got a lot of interviews but I believed Ellen is the best out of them because no matter what she will have and easy conversation with you, she will respect you and will not cross the line to make you uncomfortable"

She's right, and here I am siting in the waiting room, backstage waiting to be called.

"Knock knock, can I enter?" The director popped his head in

"Yeah of course" I smiled to him

"Ellen apologize for not being able to come to you, she's very busy getting prepared. People outside are going crazy for you" he said

"What?!" I said confused

"There's no enough place for all the people who are coming to see you, we are out of space hahaha" he chuckled

I giggled in shock, then looked at Yuri who whispered *Don't get nervous*

I shock my head, I'm not nervous at all.

"So if you have any subject you don't want her to mention or discuss with you, you can just tell us and we will take out and not bring it up at all" he said

I shock my head "No subject is sensitive, I'm fine with any type of question" I confidently said

He nodded, "Okay perfect, then I'll let you to prepare and we will call you in 10 minuets" he said then left

"Are you sure?" Yuri asked

"Yeah definitely I am"

I heard Ellen calling my name and the production team guided me to the stage, the second I walked out the view of the people waiting for me took me back. I tried to keep the smile on my face. I waved to them then carefully I walked to Ellen who opened her arm for a hug,

"Hi, how are you?" She asked hugging me tight

"All good" I said trying not to stress out

"You are making them go crazy" she said breaking the hug

I giggled, "Thank you"

We sat down "So how's everything?" She asked

"Going amazing, thank you for having me and to everyone who came here" I said

"Yeah we are out of space, there no oxygen here anymore" she said and I laughed "no but really did you expect that many people to show up, of course after taking a break for so long. How many years 5?" She asked

"Yes almost 5, and no I didn't expect that many people to show up. I'm very grateful" I said surprised

"Yeah they love you, you are amazing" she complimented me

"Thank you"

"So how is it like coming back to the modeling life? Is it still the same for you or you find it hard" Ellen asked

"It feels magnificent, I won't lie to you it's very hard since there are a lot of new models that are way better than me m. I'm trying very hard to compete and go back to the same level as I was" as I was answering they started showing some of my old photoshoot

I look very happy back then

After showing couple of pictures and commenting on them,

"But lets be honest we are all dying for this" she said and they put the magazine cover, the kiss photo.

I smiled; it's still looks divine.

"What a picture" Ellen said mesmerized

"I know right" I said not able to take my eyes off

"I don't know if it's you guys or the photographer is on a god professional level" she said

I laughed "Maybe both"

"What a charm, what a chemistry between you two exceptional" She said elated

I smiled "Thank you"

"But now the question that's killing everyone since the publishing of this cover is... first did you see the feedback on the internet?" She asked

"No, I really try to stay away from the internet" I said

"Good, so the question that every one wants to ask and it's s making them go crazy is who kissed who first?"

I laughed blushing

"there was a poll for it"

"Really? What poll"

"A poll for who kissed who first, and the majority voted Taeyeon, so really who did it first?"

I shook my head chuckling, "I did" I said and I could hear the inhalation people did out of shock

"Really?!" She looked surprised

I said without denying a bit of it "Yeah I kissed her first."

"You did? What... what made you do... do it, wow I'm surprised"

I rose my eyebrows smiling "I don't know... It was unintentionally, it just happened" I looked at the picture "We were told to act natural and the cold weather, the snow, the fun, the laughter, the place itself and everything beautiful there; was formed with that kiss" I said

She nodded, "you can see it, you definitely can" she looked at me "So tell me, was there any reaction or rejection of what happened from Miss Taeyeon side or everything went perfectly normal?" She asked

"No at all" I lied "it went perfect and as I said it was unintentionally so honestly after we didn't have a chance to talk about it because both of us we were very busy. However, if I crossed a line and made her uncomfortable with what I did then I'd like to apologize here and now for her because it happened like that, I had no mean to do it, I was taken by the moment that's why if there's any reaction from it I take all the responsibility and I apologize for what I did" I said

"don't think there's any of that. It's been weeks if there's any complain the magazine wouldn't have published it. Any way you did amazing job. Both of you"

I forced a smile thinking of how people don't know what goes behind all that.


	23. Chapter 23

After Ellen Interview; I had many calls wanting me to come for an interview about that magazine release. I nicely denied many and forcefully rejected a lot but I came to that one interview that made me want to go for it and it was an interview about the magazine but it was with her. So I walked out of my zone and agreed on going to it.

I made that day start happily, and I walked to the backstage all the way to the makeup room smiling. They did my makeup and hair then I walked my way to the waiting room,

"Should we go there for coffee first" Yuri said

"No I already had coffee this morning, if you want you can go, I'll wait for you there" I said continuing my walk,

"But lets go there for a bit" she said as if she doesn't want me to walk this way

I looked at her "What's wrong?" I asked

"Let's just go" she said pointing to go the right side

I insisted "If you don't tell me I'll keep walking my way" I said and turned to continue walking. However, my eyes met hers from far away.

So I held my well and continued walking, I passed her without looking at her, like it's nothing. My heart ached a bit, I wanted to turn and look at her, I wanted to smile and say hi, I wanted to see her smile and hear her voice but I held me strong and kept going.

I sat down in the waiting room, "You okay?" Yuri asked

I looked at her smiling "Yes...Don't worry, it's all good now. No feelings"

She looked at me unconvinced but she nodded.

After a while She walked in the room, she sat on her phone and I made my eyes wonder the whole room. I took a couple of glances at her, how much time has it been? Weeks? Months? I'm no longer sure.

It's a page that I turned already, sadly I gave my emotions and she doesn't even deserve it or at least that's what I convince myself. But I don't regret it, I only regret the unusual love I had for her and all of my heart beats that went to waste.

"Okay ladies it's a stand by" the guys with headsets said

We walked out to wait to be called in, "Good morning," she said

I looked at her standing beside me, "Morning" I replied,

Seconds passed and they are the most quiet seconds I've ever went through.

"How are you?" She asked looking at me

I looked at her "Fine, you?" I asked back

"Still alive" she said, and I giggled inside thinking of Hayeon and how both of them say the same things.

We were called in to the show, and we left all that we had between each other on that yellow line we were standing on. Now In front of the cameras and people we have to act like friends...

I sat on the left chair beside the two interviewers and she sat on the right chair beside me.

"How are you ladies?" The man said

"Good" I said

"Fine," She said

"We are so glad to be the first to have both of you on our show" the lady said

I smiled, I don't know if she did.

"What a chemistry you two have" he said,

and the lady beside him nodded agreeing "It's just a photo but you can feel it" she said

I giggled "It shows how magnificent the photographer is, it's all in his hands" I said

The lady denied "But you must've had some part of it"

"Yeah when we see it, it just shows the harmony between you two and the charm you have" he said

"We were just being natural, I guess we just have it" she looked at me and smiled

Don't be fool, I told my self. It's just the camera personality.

"Should we check the pictures" she said

"We must" he said turning to the big screen behind us.

I don't want to see them, I know I don't but my head turned without me guiding it.

They made us go through each and every picture in the magazine, giving us seconds to see them and I looked at her in all of them. Till they stopped on the magazine cover...the kiss

I felt a surge of happiness looking at her, she was bursting with joy, I could see her she was hardly able to contain her happiness. I've seen this picture everywhere but this is the first time I noticed.

I turned to look at her confused, you were happy I wanted to tell her.

"Taeyeon you seem like you are enjoying that" he said

She giggled, and I looked away back to them.

"I heard, that Tiffany was the one to make the move but didn't you by any chance intended it, like gave hints and all that?" she asked smirking and I felt her twitching uncontrollably in her chair

"Is it because..." she was about to answer her but I interrupted

"I know what you are trying to do here" I unbothered smiled "But no, I did the first move" the lady looked at me with a look that wanted me to not say a thing

"The weather and the place the natural intimate that was in the atmosphere made me do that, nobody intended it or worked a way for it, not Taeyeon, not me and not even the photographer...it simple just happened" I said and both of the interviewer nodded. They looked at me like they don't know what to say next.

"And it turned beautifully" she said

I looked at her while thinking, *Don't make a word take you and bring you back. a word means nothing. A word said on a camera means nothing*

The interview ended and I was more than happy with the results, I think I said my mind and cleared my thoughts. I walked to get my stuff and she was behind.

"ready to go ?" Yuri asked

I smiled "Yes" I took my purse and walked. I wanted to look back I wanted to call her name but I opened the door and closed it behind me like I was closing a book I don't want to ever open it.

In the car, "I feel like I want to visit her" I said

"Now?" Yuri said

"Yeah" I said

"Why suddenly" she asked

"I don't know, she just came to my mind, like I miss her" I said

"Sure no problem" she drove me to the hospital and dropped me there.

I waited for her to leave then took a taxi, I made them drop me on the side of the street where there was big gifts store. I walked in and went to the flowers shop. I made them arrange a bloomed, angelic, aromatic bouquet of flowers. And as they were preparing I went to the candy shop and brought big bag of candies even though I know she can't eat them. I went to the next shop and brought a big red teddy bear, then got her a bunch of her favorite movies. Then went back to take the flowers.

I took another taxi back to the hospital and went my way up to her room, I slightly knocked on the door then walked in, I saw her peaceful sleeping on her side. I tipped toed to her bed and as I was about to put the stuff aside,

"Woooh" I heard her soft voice, I moved the flowers to the side to see her. "It feels like Christmas" she said

"Already?" I giggled

"You make it feel like Christmas all the time" she said hardly pulling herself up, but she couldn't "sorry I'll have to stay like this" she said chuckling

"No problem, I will still make it as Christmas even when you are laying down" I said and she laughed

"These are very beautiful" she looked at the flowers "most beautiful I've ever seen, they look more alive than me" she joked

I sat down beside her, just looking at her and how beautiful she is even tho cancer took every part of her young life.

"I saw the interview" she broke the gaze

"You did?!"

"Yeah it was live, You did pretty good"

"What about your sister?" I asked

She looked at me "She's a good liar"

I bursted into laughter

"Magnificently good one as well" she added then reached her hand to hold mine. "Keep Love in your heart" she looked me in the eye "A life without it is like a sunless garden when flowers are dead"

I took a second to put it in, then nodded.

"Oscar Wilde said that" she said pointing at the book beside her

I smiled looking at it but then she softly pulled my hand to get my attention back,

"He also said, To live is the rarest thing in the world. Most people exist," she put her hand under her head, she always keeps me speechless with her wisdom

"I want you to take this book, I don't think I need it anymore" said putting my hand on the book.

"Are you sure?" I asked

She nodded "I love you" she said smiling

I put my hand on her check "I love you more,"

"I hope that you truly know how much I Love you, I so hope that you do because you mean the world to me, and I can't imagine my life without you in it" she said then covered herself

I held my tears, "I do" I said with a cracked voice

"I hope that you really know that. But now I need a nap" her eyes closed immediately without a blink.

I sat there for hours with tears, before I stood up and kissed her forehead "Sleep well" I said then left the room.

I walked out and kept walking. When was the last time I walked alone? I don't remember but this time I felt like I want to walk to no place and melt down to the ground and disappear...

Some feeling is hitting me so hard and I'm not able to say what it is, I just feel like it's stabbing my heart, I wanted to sit down on the street and cry. I kept wiping my tears and they kept falling.

Why I'm feeling like this? I was happy minutes ago. What happened? Why I'm not able to move. Why I feel paralyzed?

How can an unusual, unpredictable feeling makes me be like that? Where should I go? What should I do?

I walked and walked till I found myself standing in front of the grave that I couldn't standing in front ever, the grave I stayed far away from, my whole life. The grave that scars me the most.

I sat down on the grass in front of it, "I've wasted a lifetime," I said into the foggy air "I wish I ran away when your love started giving me pain." I felt the grass around me before putting my hands on my eyes to stop the tears.

"I no longer know where I should go, after you left me in an endless pain and tears. You put me in an ocean of weary and I'm terrified that I won't be able to heal the wounds you drew" I took a breath, then looked at the grave stone

"I wish we've never met and I wish my stupid heart never loved you," I read his written name on the stone over and over "You made me waste my life trying to forget you, you exhausted my heart and soul to stay away from you and yet even after your death, you put something in me to remember you for the rest of my life"


	24. Chapter 24

"People are still not over that magazine shoot" Yuri walked to the living room, where I'm laying down reading the newspaper

"It's good for me" I said

She put the newspaper down, "Really? You saying that?"

I looked at her "Yes," I put the papers on the table "They are giving me attention, so why not they can keep doing that"

"I can't believe that this is coming out of your mouth" She left her legs on the table

I shrugged my shoulders than took my cup of coffee to sip on it

"Kurt invited us to this big party his neighbor is doing" I said looking through my phone

"Are you really feeling like partying?" She asked

"No but I really would like to go" I said

"Why to see her?"

I put my phone down, "I don't give a fuck about her, if Hayeon wasn't her sister I would've stay the hell away from everything related to her. But Hayeon is the only reason I'm still here since the first god damn place" I stood up frustrated, then walked to my room to prepare for tonight's party

I drove to Kurt house and from there I saw a big house with a lot of cars parked in front it, *well then that's the neighbor*

I found a parking, then walked my way in. I saw Jo and Kurt standing together,

"Hi" Jo ran for a hug and so Kurt

"You made it, thanks god we needed someone fun" Kurt said and I laughed

"We tried to get Taeyeon here but she didn't answer any of our phone calls" Jo said

"Probably busy" Kurt gave an excuse

"Should we go get drinks, it's a party" I said trying to change the subject

After couple of drinks, Jo and Kurt took me to the dancing floor and I danced, I danced so hard trying to take that feeling in my heart I've been feeling for weeks now.

I danced and I drank and I danced and I drank, till I heard a voice in my hand telling me to step outside for a fresh air. I put my hand on my heart as I was finding my way outside. My phone rang and picked it up from my dress pocket,

"Yes?!" I answered

And there was no reply

"Hello?!" I said

"Tiffany..."

Every inch of my body stopped, She called my name, she never did. I couldn't move my body, it's like her words melted me. It's like every piece of me stopped.

"I'm...I'm trying to pray but it's not working" she said, it's either I'm numb and not able to understand a thing or she's speaking nonsense

The line stayed quiet...

"I'm not sure if you are hearing me but at least I can lie to myself and say that you are" She said

"Yes" the word ran out of my lips

She stayed quiet for a while before speaking again

"Do you think there's anyone watching us from above?" She asked

I'm starting to think that I'm drunk and I'm imagining things

"If there is do you think if I prayed now they will listen?" She said "because I'm getting crazy ideas in my head and I don't think I'm able to stop them...I'm not sure if I want to stop them"

"What do you mean?" I broke out of my dizziness

"I'm standing on the edge... it's not that high but I know it's going to hurt but I don't think I will might it" she coldly said

"Where are you?" I felt my heart dropping to my feet

"At least I will feel the wind in my hair just like I did when I was a kid" she said not answering

"TAEYEON" I screamed like crazy on my phone

She didn't answer, and then I heard the peep... she hang up.

I walked myself fast inside looking for Kurt.

"Where's Taeyeon?" I asked, stopping the guy from taking another sip of the juice in his hand.

"What" he pointed on his ears, he can't hear from all this loud music

"WHERE IS TAEYEON" I yelled

He shock his head still not able to hear.

I felt my body shacking in nervousness, and my head was going crazy. I held him from his shirt collar "WHERE IS TAEYEON" I scream inside his ear

My Vision was going blurry, but I tried to focus on his lips movement, he said something like in her room. And I left the house running all the way to their house.

I walked in then ran all the way to her room, I opened the door like a crazy. But the room way empty.

The rooftop hit my mind and I started running like I'm about to lose my life, I started running like there a serial killer following me.

I stepped outside to the rooftop and saw her standing in her pants and hoodie in front of the glass covered edge. She was just standing there looking at the sky, with her hands dropped down. she looked safe.

"Fuck you" I said breaking in tears, after the panic attack I went through. After thinking I might've lost her "FUCK...YOU" I walked to her and turned her body to me.

"I didn't think you would come" I heard her voice, I heard her soft gently voice and I started crying. My emotions were coming out, I felt like all the feelings I've been feeling are getting out in tears.

"WHY THE HELL YOU DO THAT?" I yelled at her "I THROUGH EVERYTHING I FEEL FOR YOU AWAY AND I PUSHED MYSELF TO STAY AWAY FROM YOU...SO WHY? WHY YOU KEEP FINDING A WAY TO HURT ME. WHAT IS IT SO SINFUL IN LOVING YOU, WHAT IS IT THAT I DID TO GET HURT AND HURT AND HURT?" I put my hands on her shoulders and looked her in the eyes. I took a breath between my tears, and said with a cracked voice "All I Did was loving you, what's the sin in that" I told her then put my hands off of her "Don't make me get afraid like this again because I can't handle it" I said then turned to walk away

"Tiffany" she said

And my body just stopped, it stopped...this is how much power she have over me.

I wiped my tears, looking down but not moving.

She held my hand and turned me to her, and I met her crying eyes.

She spoke to me in a brittle voice "She died... Tiffany... she's dead" her tears bursted, falling all over her face, and I saw the muscles of her chin trembling like a baby.

I took a step away from her, still feeling her hands holding. I felt like I'm being ripped off or murdered. I know who's she's talking about but I'm denying it.

She held my hands tight, moving them to her heart, "She...left" her voice broke "Tiffany...she left me" I looked at her breaking down, I tried to hold it in, but the pain came to me like a loud uproar from my throat but in the form of a silent painful scream.

I pulled her to me and she clutched on my dress, I held her tight feeling her sobs. Everything was silent but the pain was very loud. I held her in my arm and slowly rocking her back and forth. While trying to hold that lump in my throat. She pulled away in a lapse. She locked at me and her eyes were heavy with tears she looked back down and and pulled away from me. She started breathing in and out. Her sobs stopped and she started to hide her grief. She looked down to her hands and then She screamed her heart out like a wave of emotions hit her and she broke down entirely.

I ran to hold "She said she will never leave me. She promised me she will never leave me but my baby girl left" The painful emotion ate her and I saw her losing the feelings of life, everything in her eyes went dark into nothingness and slowly she passed unconscious into my arms.

I left her up and took her down to her room, Her body was weak and I saw her hollow, I felt how her entire life crumbled.

I laid her down and covered her up. I wanted to leave and stay alone in my misery. But I couldn't leave her like this. So I sat on the other side of the bed and crawled my legs up to my chest and put my chin on my knees, looking through the darkness.

And at that moment it hit me, she left.

Tears dripping, "My little daughter left, my little baby died" I whispered to myself.

My walls collapsed, the only thing was holding me up left. The one that keeps me strong and stayed strong for me, couldn't stay strong for herself. I wept my heart out and tears streamed covering my arms. I tried to keep my sobs quiet while they were tearing my throat. I dropped my body down to the bed and covered my mouth while sobbing myself to the oblivion of unconsciousness.

I woke up to the sounds of a conversation, I looked to my side and she wasn't. I slowly pulled my body up. Her figure sitting on her knees infront of the big balcony; pulled a shadow behind.

"They say you hear everyone, everywhere no matter where they are" I heard her whispers. "I want you to know that I've never believed in you but...I'm praying to you today from the depths of my heart" her hands on her knees holding herself down "I'm lost, lonely and scared" she chocked in her words "I'm used to this type of situation yet a part of me dies every time" she put her head down

"I'm here on my knees... I beg you to please take me take me with her, I don't want to be alive anymore. There's no point in staying alive" she cried

"God will never listen to something that selfish" I said breaking the silence

She turned to look at me, surprised

"Instead Of praying that you should pray she's somewhere happy...happier than here. You should pray that her trip will be easy you should pray that god will take care of her. Not for him to take you to her" I said angry "Do you think she will be happy listening to you saying that? I think you should sit down and rethink things, because she will never wish for you to die now and there are a lot of people that will not wish that" I laid and put the blanket over me, taking myself to sleep again.


	25. Chapter 25

I felt cold in the middle of my sleep, so I opened my eyes slowly and the first thing I saw was her eyes dazzling under the sun light looking at me. I held the blanket that slipped away from me in the night and turned my body to the other side away from her gaze. I covered myself then closed my eyes tight, trying to go back to sleep.

I felt her getting out of the bed, then heard her foot steps coming to my side, she put a bottle of water beside me, "Good morning" she said then walked out to the balcony.

I stepped out of the bed, then to the balcony door. I slightly opened it then stretched my arm out and gripped her shirt, I pulled her inside then closed the door.

I ignored her shocked expression and went to the bed, I sat on the edge of the bed, opened the water bottle and took a sip.

"Did you think yesterday I would've done it?" she asked from across the room

"Done what?" I closed the bottle

"...jumped?" She said Sitting on the floor

I sighed "You seemed like" I said, not looking at her

"I would never do it" she said putting her head on her knees

I nodded "good" I got up and walked to the bathroom

She held my hand before I reach the door. She stood up beside, still holding my hand, "Why did you come?" She asked

I rubbed my forehead then turned to look at her. Her face was swallowed and her eyes are puffed from all the crying.

"Because I couldn't bare the thought of you jumping" I said waiting for her to let go of my hand

"Why you couldn't?" She kept asking

"Because I was forbidden from happiness and you made me taste it in the most painful way and now I can't let go" I took her hand off me then walked to wash my face.

When I walked out I saw her siting on the edge of the bed with book in her hand. She looked up at me. Then lift the book up "Hayeon told me to give you this" she said

From the first glance I knew which book that is, I shut my eyes tight; holding my tears back.

"She said she wanted you to get it" she added, pulling her arm up to hand me the book.

I walked to her, and took the book. Then sat on the bed close to her.

"Sorry, she insisted" she said looking down to her locked hands

I nodded, looking on the book. Telling myself not to cry.

"She also requested me to ask you one question" she said turning her head to look at me. "She said ask her to tell you about it..." she said and I immediately looked at her, I was taken back... why would she tell her that

"I don't know what 'It' is, but she told me to ask you about what happened..." she added while her eyes were so deep in mine.

"Nothing," I stood up, then felt her fingers touch on my arm

"That was the only thing she asked me to ask you, she said I need to know" She told me,

"No, you don't need to know" I said wanting to move my arm away from her touch

"Okay," She said

I looked at her

"I'm not going to force you or keep asking you to tell me. If you want you will and I'll be here to listen"

How can she be able to do that to me. I sat back down and looked at her and she looked back at me.

"I wasn't in the beginning of my career, I was in the hype of it, the maximum of it" I started and she listened like she said she will

"I was on every billboard, every magazine cover, every social media icon; I was killing the marketing" I continued "But I fell in love with this guy. Hi presence was it, I felt alive with him, he gave me the world"

She nodded paying attention but not saying anything... I wanted her to say nothing.

"Winter and summer passed and it was it" I said "I was able to contain my career and my love life, we were everything together but we were in real life nothing. And as the time passed the mental torture continued but I loved him like crazy and he did but nobody knows what lies within someone's heart" I said then took a pause forcing myself to remember

"It started to show, everyone can see. The shoots and the pictures and all the lights couldn't hide what was happening. People could see, Yuri, Jo, my family everyone close to me told me I should stay away." I looked away from her eyes "He took the sleep out of my eyes, my eyes were always filled with tears. They called me crazy and stupid, they told me I should stay away from him I should forget him. But what does all of them know? If can't fell his presence around me the light in my life will disappear." I held myself strong saying "They told me his love is erasing me but the world watched me in million eye, they blamed me for what was happening to him, he went to the drugs way and he started destroying his life and people said I was the reason. I kept telling myself it is just a dark cloud that will pass and he will come back to me...because he loved me for me. But even the stones on the street felt closer to me than him. Yet at the end of the day I will go back to his house and I will wait for him to be with him"

I felt the pain of remembering but I have no more tears for that.

"Till one day, I went back home after work to wait for him, he was there before me and he was waiting for me, I was the happiest, thinking that this dark cloud has passed us and now there's the green growing up. He came to me and started calling beautiful things and I was happy." I said and she was still listening

"We went to the kitchen and I saw that he prepared a dinner, so we sat and ate and in the middle he came to me and put a small gift box on the table, it was a gold necklace...I was happy. He started kissing me and making me feel good..but it didn't feel good. With ever kiss; I just remember the pain I went through and that was a little moment happiness and we will go back to what we were. With every kiss I kept thinking how many? How many he kissed before coming here. So I pulled myself away from him. And after it I felt dizzy...did I drink to much? We were drinking wine but I didn't even finish my glass... I kept thinking" I said looking at her and I saw a look of anger in her eyes

"I don't remember what happened after it, I only remember waking up to his voice speaking on the phone with the messy bed sheets and me undressed... I looked around and saw him from the open door standing in the kitchen talking. So I shacked my heavy head trying to focus and I heard him and wish I didn't because everything was fine " I closed my eyes going back to that day

"I heard him saying to someone that he put a pill in my drink and that he raped me... and he was so happy about it, proudly saying that. I felt my whole body clenching and shaking because I can't remember. I heard him again laughing loud, and describing everything he did to me and I listened. I felt like it was the last thing I can hear, when my head went blank I wanted all that to end. So I stood up and walked to him, I didn't know what was happening around but..." I paused "But I killed him and till this day if I can repeat it I will do it all over again with a smile. I held him from the back and pulled him down to the edge of the glasses table with all the power I had left, then stood and saw him bleed. I left him on the floor and went to the bedroom and changed the bed sheets then got dressed" I said without looking at her "I wasn't terrified but I knew I will go for a lifetime in jail, so I went to the place where he keeps his drugs, and I overdosed him with a shot in the arm, to make sure that if he didn't die from the hit than he will die from overdosing. I gave him back the taste of his own medicine" I looked at her and she wasn't looking my way "I was ready to be taken but I got away with it. They put it as a suicide by overdosing. I stayed with Yuri and after months of his death, I found out that I was pregnant... it's easy to talk but people don't know the beginning of a story they just see the ending" I stood up

"I trusted Hayeon with it and she kept it with her for years. I don't trust you..." I looked back at her "But that was her wish, I don't know why she wanted me to tell you that but I did what she wanted" she held my hand and I immediately pulled It away from her

"I don't want you to petty me or feel sorry for me. Don't change the way you were with me just because you knew something about me" I said "Nothing changed" I walked myself to door, "The story is simple, I just gave my heart to a god damn fool just like you did" I opened the door and walked out.

...

* * *

We walked in line, everyone wearing the dark color, puffed red eyes looking down and around. I looked up to the sky and I wanted it to look dark, foggy but no it was brightly shining, and virescent colour of the churchyard was cheerful as if welcoming her there; a way to show us that she is in a better place. The air was silent as we stood around her grave but the birds were singing.

Taeyeon stood infront of the casket, "remember when we used to be happy every time the sun shine? Every single day? Well The sun shone today but it doesn't feel important anymore" her voice struggle and couldn't hold the grief in her; steadily and silently her tears fell, she put her hand on the casket "Take care" she only said that then took a step for them to lower the casket down. I felt the pain in her voice, I felt the emptiness. People walked to put roses on it as it was slowly lowering down. When it disappeared it was the moment when I knew that I will never see her face again, or feel her hugs. I will not see the warmth that was in her eyes. I felt Yuri pulling me into a deep hug, I didn't want to acknowledge that this is the finality of death and that we will have to continue living without.

After the grave was closed with dirt and showered with water, Taeyeon held herself and walked to the church, not talking to anybody or answering anyone there. I saw a part of her going down in that grave.

Kurt held my hand when I was about to follow her,

I pulled my hand softly, I have to be with her, I told myself that and walked after her.

I opened the church door slowly and she was standing infront of the cross looking up at it.

"I'm going to thank you even if I'm still hurt and not able to understand why. I know Sometimes I hate you but I never wished anything from you, so now I just want to wish one thing. I wish that in heaven you give her a second chance...because she is very young...she's little yet went through a lot, so I beg you give her a second chance in heaven and I would never ever ask anything else from you" she begged, and I stood there looking at her till she turned and saw me. And the second her eyes met mine, her tears flew down. And I ran to hug her, she held to me so tight.

And I made her sit down while she laid her head on my shoulders and my arms around her.

After couples of minutes or maybe hours the church door opened, I looked at Taeyeon but her eyes where closed. I think she fell asleep. I stayed still and felt the presence of someone, I heard there foot steps. But I couldn't turn my head to see, I just saw a tall woman standing infront of the cross then kneeled down to pray. She didn't notice us but she was wearing black from head to toe she had a long black hair that fell on her back like an angel.

I stayed quiet not to disturb her, but then I heard her crying,

"I'm sorry" she said, "I just want to say that I'm sorry...I want you to make her listen to me...tell her that I'm sorry"

I saw her collapsing from the inside, I wanted to comfort her but Taeyeon is sleeping.

"I never meant for all that to happened, I tried...I tried but I couldn't...I wished and I wished for just one chance to fix it but I couldn't...I...couldn't find any" she lowered her head, I know this voice but the pain in her tone is unrecognizable.

"Her pain is still a scar in my heart, Her soul is still in me. I...just want her forgiveness..." she cried "lord I beg you let her know that I'm sorry, I'm sorry.. I wish death upon me" she put her hands above her head "If I knew she was still alive I would've, crawled to her and asked for forgiveness, I miss her...and I loved her...I love her so...so much, lord you know much I love her, I beg you let her know" she took a pause then said "I'm sorry" before standing up

"What can sorry do now?" Taeyeon said suddenly between the silence of the church and the sobbing of the lady.

I looked at her, she stood up and the lady in pain turned to look at her. My heart sank when I saw Eve face.

"Why..." She stood there with tears in her eyes, "Why you didn't tell me" she took a step to Taeyeon "WHY YOU DIDN'T TELL ME SHE WAS ALIVE"

"You don't deserve to know" Taeyeon said, and I felt the pain on Eve's face; she was hurt

"I prayed and I prayed..." she walked to her "I WISHED AND I WISHED" she stood inches away from Taeyeon "To have just one chance to apologize, to hold her and tell her how much I love her. To talk to her and take care of her. I was going through hell because of what I did..." she said crying but Taeyeon held her from the collar of her shirt,

I stood up in fear...why she's doing that?

"YOU WEAR GOING THROUGH HELL? WHAT ABOUT HER? WHAT ABOUT THE HELL SHE WENT THROUGH BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU DID? HUH?" Taeyeon shouted in her face and my body froze in panic, her voice was very loud and the echo took over the whole place.

She pushed Eve away and pointed here finger on her "You killed her" she said and Eve broke down to the ground,

"YOU KILLED HER" Taeyeon shouted "So don't stand here asking for forgiveness,"

She wiped her tears "YOU...YOU KNOW DEEP INSIDE..." she held her breath before saying "That your mother is the reason" she said

Taeyeon put her hands on the both sides of her head anger is eating her, then she shouted "YOU KNEW SHE HAD CANCER...YOU KNEW THAT" she pointed at her again "Yet what did you do?!" She asked her

"I know what I did was wrong but I..." she tried to explain but Taeyeon cut her

"YOU TOOK HER TO PARTIES WITH YOU WHILE SHE WAS A KID" she shocked on her words "she was still a baby, you taught her how to smoke and drink..." she took a step back to sit down then covered her eyes, "My mom smoked and took pills when she was pregnant with her and what you did is as horrible as what she did both of you are as fucked up, maybe you are more because Hayeon gave up on my mom a long time ago but you... you were the world to her, she held on to you more than anything and you just let her go" She stood up and as she walked to her, the doors of the church opened and some people walked in to check what's happening. I held Taeyeon arm stopping her from walking to Eve who was on the floor crying herself out.

Taeyeon didn't move but her eyes were still on the girl "I wish your eyes will never see the sleep...from the depths of my heart I hope you will never find happiness in your life"

I couldn't handle what was going on, so I pulled Taeyeon from the back door of the church away from Eve.

I made her enter my car, then drove away...she stayed quiet the whole time just doing what I'm telling her to do.

I drove for hours and hours, she didn't ask and she didn't say a word. I looked at her from time to time. Some of the times she's crying some of the times she's putting herself to sleep.

I parked the car in a small village far away from the city. When I turned the car off, she opened her eyes, looking around then she looked at me.

I ignored her and walked out of the car, and just as I thought she followed. I put the keys inside the door then turned it to open it. I walked in and she kept following.

I threw my jacket on one of the sofas then turned to look at her. Her eyes were wondering around the old house with woody smell.

"This place means the world to me, I stayed here when I needed a space all by myself." I looked at her, she turned to continue looking around...she seemed uninterested.

"I'm not forcing you to stay here, I thought that you will need a safe space away of everything there" I put the car keys on the table "this is the key and the door is open whenever you want to leave you can" I said, then walked out of the house.

I went to buy some food, since it's been a while since I came here. I walked on the street that is made out of bricks, the trees are not in their best look since it's still very cold. I looked at the people who kept everything about me a secret, people who don't me and I don't know them. They just embraced me between them.

The bill ring when I opened the door to the small grocery store beside the big hills. "Welcome back young lady" the old owner of the store said while she was looking at me with a smile.

"Hi, how are you now" asked about her

"I'm good because you are back" she asked with her shaky voice, "Every time you come back here the whole town becomes alive you are the reason this village still exists, you helped everyone" she said with tears in her eye

"Don't ever say that" I went to her "this village still exists because you guys worked very hard to keep it" I said and she gave me a hug.

I finished buying groceries for the empty house and walked my way back. Opened the door and she was sitting on the old light brown sofa. I was putting the stuff in the kitchen when she walked to me and stood in front of the door. I looked at her then turned to continue my work.

"I...just want to tell you that...I'm really sorry...for what happened to you...I had no idea" she said

I lift my body up then looked at her, I wasn't angry, I wasn't annoyed like I always get when someone bring the subject. I actually was completely fine, "Wise woman once said, don't apologize for something you had nothing to do with" I said then held the groceries to put inside the refrigerator which I also needed to turn on. I saw her from the side of my eyes walking towards me to help, and I let her help.

After we finished all the work in the house, it was already dark; so we made cups of coffee and went to sit on the swing outside.

I looked at her, and I felt myself dying inside, sadness is eating her up.

I put my hand above hers, and she immediately looked at me "If you kept thinking that she is in a way better place than she was her on earth...it will get better promise" I said and she just nodded

We stayed quiet and the silence was very comfy.

I woke up the next morning, and walked out of the room. It was very cold, but I felt my body warm up when I saw her standing in the kitchen making breakfast. I took a step back and watched her. For a second there I felt like everything was alright.

I was spacing out when I felt her hand on my arm, I looked at her "I wasn't sure what you like so I made a little of everything" she said pulling a chair for me to sit.

I sat down and watched her do the same, she waited for me to start eating but I didn't...this should make me happy but I'm not.

"Taeyeon..." I called her,

"Yeah..." she answered and god bless her voice

I took a breath holding my pleasure from my feelings, "Don't change the way you treat me...this is not you" I said and she looked at me blank.

"I don't want to be treated in empathy, I killed my boyfriend and I have a daughter...I lived through that for years. And I lived through the way you treated me before knowing my secrets, so don't change for that, it makes me feel disgusted about myself" I said before I look down on the food then started eating.

The whole morning went quiet as well, just time passing by peacefully. I looked on the clock and it was almost 1 pm

I walked to Taeyeon who was siting Infront of the window watching I don't know what.

"Taeyeon..." I called her, she looked up at me, I saw tears in her eyes.

"Come with me," I said and she stood up ready to follow.

I made her walk all the way to the end of the village, where there was a school...the only school there. We stood on the other side of the street looking at the student walking outside the school to their parents.

I pointed up and told her "That's Seren" I said and I felt like there are thorns in my throat. She looked at her then me maybe four, five times.

"This is Yuri's sister" I said pointing at the lady who's picking my daughter from school. She nodded.

I crossed the road to the school side, and walked to them, and the second my daughter eyes met mine; she yelled "Mommy" and I felt like my world was built all over again, I kneed down and opened my arms wide open and she ran to me and hugged me. I put my arms around her so tight. This moment nothing matters in this world but her...

"Mommy I miss you" she said

And I tightened my hug, "Mommy miss you too,"

"When can I go with you to the city?" She asked and I couldn't hold my tears

"Soon...sweetie, very very soon" I said holding my breath to stop the tears

She pulled out of the hug "Mommy why this lady is crying" she said and I turned to look at Taeyeon, who was about to collapse of crying.

I stood up and pulled her by the arm into a hug, I held her very close and heard her whispering "She...reminds me of Hayeon so much" she cried

"Mommy what's wrong" Seren asked,

I slowly let go of Taeyeon and kneed down to her eye level "Mommy's friend is going through a hard time, Mommy needs to stay with her for a while" I said

"So I'm not going with you this time?" She said and I can see the tear gathering in her eyes which broke my heart to a thousand piece.

"Not this time my baby, I promise you the next time I'll take you with me and you will stay with me forever" I said but that didn't convince her...

"Seren Love why don't you go play with your friends there" Yuri's sister said and my daughter did what she was told

"She's giving up on a piece of you every waking day that you are not here" She said " I know that you got your reasons but it's selfish that you chose other people opinions and thoughts over her existence"


	26. Chapter 26

I finished washing my face and brushing my teeth; getting ready to go to bed when i heard a knock on the door.

"Come in" I said and Taeyeon opened the door then walked in. She made herself comfortable in my room and took a seat on the corner of the bed.

"why Serenity?" She looked at me "I mean why did you name her that?" She said

I went to sit beside her, it took me a minute to collect my thoughts before saying, "because that was the only thing I was looking for in my life and I wasn't able to find it till I had her" I said and she turned to face me, "through all the hard time I wasn't able to endure it, I needed peace and I wasn't able to find it in anybody or any thing but her...the moment I saw her face, I felt like nothing matters anymore. I found my peace and I found my life" I said smiling

She kept a serious face "Excuse me to say that but if she is that to you then why she's not with you? You have an angel out there and you are not keeping her beside you?" She asked

I painfully giggled, "I tried..." I looked down to my tip toes "I tried and I tried but every side of my life pushed me...I had no backing, nobody to hold me. If anybody knew they would never keep it a secret, I never trusted anybody..." I took a deep breath before continuing "When I ran to my family and they found out I was pregnant...they wanted me to...abort the baby...but my soul was attached to her, so I couldn't. They didn't want me, they disowned me and I knew if the world found out that I was pregnant I would lose my job...that's why I had to let her go...to let her live away from me, hopefully one day I will be able to keep her beside me, that's the only reason I'm alive and I fight every single day of my life"

I looked at her and she was looking on the floor and she stayed quiet after listening to my story. I didn't like the feeling of the atmosphere that was built, so I changed the subject with a light tone "So your tattoo, when I saw it, it reminded me of her that's why I ran away" I said Touching the tattoo on the back of her arm.

She looked at me, and smiled a very smooth, sweet smile "You ran away because of the tattoo or because of me?" She said looking me in the eyes with the smile covering her face

I hit her shoulder and said "Because of the tattoo"

She giggled "okay" then put the smile slowly down of her face "Actually" She said "I told you before that Serenity was something I was looking for before my mother death and after her death then I found it within myself..."

I tilted my head looking at her, "Yeah!"

"I lied" she said looking at me

I was confused "Then tell me the truth"

"Serenity is something I was looking for in my mother but I was not able to find it...I didn't find it within myself, It was just there after her death. It's like she left it for me before she dies" she shrugged "The feeling was just there, when she left the world...Serenity fill me, and till today I don't know where I got that feeling from"

I nodded then put my arm around her.

I didn't know what time I woke up, but the sun light was already covering the room and the quietness of the human beside me was deadly. I turned to look at her and her puffy eyes were still close then ever so gently I moved her hair away from her face, and kept looking at her, from the perfect lines of her eyebrows to her flawless lashes, down to the tip of her nose... I don't know if I'm allowed or I'm creepy if I spaced out on her lips but I did, I did and I don't know for how long I did, but I looked away when I felt myself biting my own lips. I looked away and pulled myself out of the bed.

I knew I woke her up when I did but i didn't turn to look at her and I kept walking out of the room.

And before I be able to pure a glass of water; I saw her standing infront of me in my old pajamas she took from my closet.

"can I drive you somewhere?" She asked

I looked at her surprised by her question in this early morning, " Yeah sure...I guess" I said

"Great" she answered and kept looking at me

"Now!?" I asked still in surprise

"Yeah...please" she said then looked at me putting my water glass down and walking infront of her to the room.

We changed and then, walked out. She drove away from the village to a road I no longer know. And in a matter of a quiet minutes, she stopped the car infront of a creepy old house that looks so like a mansion but a little smaller. It was in a middle of trees that looked creepy. The house had caution tape all around it which made me hesitate to take a step farther.

She walked infront of me and I forced myself to follow. As I got closer to the door, I spotted couple of security cameras...I thought they weren't working but I was wrong; as she was opening the door the small cameras followed our steps, and it creeped me even more. The door smoothly opened with no cracking voice like most of the old doors did.

She giggled as she opened it "Always quiet" she said walking in

I took steps behind her and the Beautiful smell that hit me from the inside. I looked around the house and it was spotless... with no dirt or a sign of an old house. The outside of it doesn't have anything to do with the inside. I was shocked of how this old house is as a new one.

She walked to the middle of it and took a deep breath of the mansion smell; she smiled after it and looked at me. The house is empty with nothing there. Blank woody walls, with woody floor darker than the walls both clean and shining. I looked to the corner side of her and the only thing there was a white piano... I took couple of steps towards it mesmerized by how old that work of art is yet very very new in its looks, like no body has touched it for never.

"That was Hayeons" Taeyeon said standing beside me. I looked at her astonished

"That's the house my father left for us before he leaves" she said "well my mother sold it but I bought it again couple of years ago"

I kept my eyes on her as astonished as I was on the idea that this is like a fairy tales...

"I brought you here because I wanted to show you part of me...this house is me...everything is" she said turning to go somewhere else.

"Your dad was really rich" I said in an aw and I heard her giggle, "This is where you lived, this is your childhood" I looked around...but the emptiness of it killed me, how can something be very beautiful but empty.

She sat down on the floor and looked up the ceiling, "kind of" she replied me, late but she still talking.

I sat infront of her, "tell me more"

She looked down at me "More?..." said with a smile "I think now you know everything"

"Do I?" I said

"Yeah" she replied

"Why your room is empty?! Why your house is empty as will?!" I asked

"I keep my room empty; to make me feel like home. And this house is empty to remind me that that's all its left" she said

I nodded "why it's so clean, it's scary" I said and she laughed

"Someone comes to clean the house every day in every week for every year" she answered "there's cameras everywhere to keep in eye on it" she added

"Do you see yourself, living here again?" I asked again and I can see her shifting in discomfort

"No..." she said "This house is only here to only remind me that I own something..."

"You own a lot of things apparently" I said looking around, will you take me on a tour?" I asked

"Tiffany" she called and now she have all my attention

"I'm sorry"

I looked at her

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you..." she said and all my expressions dropped

"I'm sorry for all I did to you, I know I can apologize for forever and it will still not be enough for all the things I did" she said

"No...you...don't need to apologize"

"I do because...I neglected you and I was the worst to you however when every one turned their back on me...you refused and you stayed beside me." She said

"Taeyeon..." I tried to stop her

"You've been through hell and back yet I made you go through more, if I never showed you how much I care about you, right here where I'm starting" she said then stood up, "promise you, I'll never hurt you ever again"

I smiled looking down, "You don't need to promise me anything, when I gave my heart to you, I promised myself to handle the pain that comes with it. I appreciate it much but...there's no reason for you to feel like that..." I stood up after her "You are a very good person Taeyeon...and I'm not. Sometimes someone needs to take a step back to allow someone to be alive...thank you for all that you said to me but all that will only give me more pain because what I want is different from what you want...you are very exceptional person which make things very hard to get over but promise you I will one day" I touched her shoulder before I passed by her to walk my way to the door.

"ARE YOU CRAZY" she yelled and the echo of her voice yelled back.

I turned to look at her shocked

"You are crazy" she said "So god damn crazy, Every piece of me is calling you...I'm not only in love with you...the word love is very little to what I'm feeling for you. You're peace, happiness, joy that came to me after years of sorrow... Your...your mind, your laugh, your beauty and your craziness...the tenderness in your eyes is the reason behind my living...I laugh, I cry in joy, I smile, I feel safe, secured when I'm in your arm. You are like...like a dream that came true, a dream that I never believed that it can come true." ... "You've been driving me crazy for months, I can't help my pacing heart, I'm dazing all the time, I'm hallucinating because of you...You got all the strings to my heart and you know just how to tug them."

...

* * *

"I regret it till today, that I left, that I got angry on you when you were part of me and I knew that even if I'm not ready I shouldn't have done what I did. Whenever, you are somewhere I keep watching you, I make sure you are doing good from far away...keeping a distance so you won't see me because I was afraid that if you see me, I'll just fall more for you and if by coincidence our paths pass beside each other; my heart falls praying that my love for you won't show up and everyone sees it. I left you to suffer; I have no excuse or forgiveness for what I did because I was a cowered. But God knows how much I had love for you. Every time I act like that towards you I leave piece of my heart with you. I'll go back home and fool myself to forget your face and your voice but it never worked. I carried your eyes in my head everywhere. I went mad for you and every day I don't see you I feel like ages are passing by me for waste...I ask myself every day why I hide my affection for you when you were showing me all yours."

I felt her eyes on me, "I was stupid but now I understand and it took me forever to do so, I was very blind...you took my heart from the first day I saw you in that blue dress siting there so quiet, so beautiful"

I heard every word she said, I heard them very well but I'm in disbelief...it took me a minute to pull back my heart to its place and my brain back to its work. I think...I'm panicking...I snatched my car key from her hand and ran away...

I strongly opened the door and yelled "YURI"

Which the girl in her pajamas jumped in shock and looked at me. "Girl where were you?" She asked

"It's a page I turned didn't I ?!" I said falling down to the floor, my body is panicking and every piece of me is shaking in an overwhelming way.

"What is?" She walked to me

"She said it," I covered my eyes "SHE FINALLY SAID IT" I shouted, and the feelings of it took over me, I stood up and put my hands on Yuri's shoulders "She said she loves me"

Her eyes widen up immediately understanding whom I'm talking about.

"She said it and my heart... MY HEART stopped after she did, I saw me in her eyes while she said she loves me crazily, I want to fly, I want to live..."

"OH MY GOD" she yelled holding my face in her hand

"Oh lord I was in so much pain...I deserve that...I deserve those three words. She finally said them." My emotions were a lot that I couldn't control them. I started crying...crying in joy... I can't explain...she is my heart...she's my world, she's the best beat my heart ever beaten

"Sweetie, don't cry" she hugged me

"I cant explain how happy I am, when she said she loved me I couldn't... I couldn't focus..." I said in my tears

"And what did you say?" she asked me as she made me sit down

"I ran away" I giggled, while wiping my tears..."How dumb of me"

She pulled me in another hug, "no it's not dumb you were just overwhelmed, it's been a while since you felt that way...so it's okay" she pulled back and looked at me "But she is probably confused, so tomorrow go to her and get her...You've waited enough"

I nodded

"But after that, I need to know the details" she said smiling to me.

It was almost midnight, I was laying down in my bed; ready to fall asleep. However, my head and heart were playing against me...I held me phone and sent message to Kurt

are you home?

And after couple of minutes of me dying, he replied

yes, everything is okay?

I stood up and wore anything fast then took the car keys and sneaked out. I drove to Kurt's house.

I rang the bill and immediately, the door was open.

"Oh my god...is everything okay?" Kurt asked looking at me in mess.

"Is Taeyeon here?!" I asked wanting to run inside.

"Yeah she just came back" he answered looking at me already walking my way to her room.

I opened the door without even knocking. I walked in and closed the door. She turned and looked at me in shock.

"Tiffany?!" She said

I stood infront of her; weak "Call my name again" I said

"...Tiffany, what are you doing here?" She said too much

I ran to her and hugged her, and felt her squeeze me passionately. I stayed in her arm and felt her breath on my neck and I think from the happiness in me...my heart forgot to beat. Dream or true...nothing in this world matters anymore. Whatever happened in the past, I feel like it is okay now. My time before her was just a waste.

I broke the hug, and looked in her eyes. I held my breath feeling like a shy child under her gaze. I closed my eyes and put my forehead on hers.

"I know, you are scared of commitment...but tell me who isn't." I pulled me head back and opened my eyes to see hers "I want you to look me in the eyes and see how much my heart longs for you...it's so hard for me to describe...how much I love you...you are in front of me and with me...that's just my dream coming true" I said, I hugged her and whispered in her ear "I'm yours...I've always been"

My body weakened when I felt her lips on my neck, she left a soft peck before pulling out. "Can you stay here for the night?" She asked and I've never thought I would hear this tone of her.

"I was anyway" I acted like I'm not dying to stay.

"I still have your pajama" she said and I can see her her smile...

"No I want one of yours" I walked to her closet, and she sat on the edge of the bed just looking at me with a smile.

I took the one who seemed comfy to me, and so ever comfortably I took my shirt off and purposely I turned to look at her. Her eyes were melting on me and felt her gaze.

I giggled "Why you looking?! You've seen me before. You said that" I turned immediately to hide my blush.

"No..." she breathed "now is different, only my eyes on you and only me around you" she said

"Stop...before you give me heart attack" I said hiding my emotions with humor.

"Do I give you heart attack?!" She said watching me as I crawled underneath the blanket

"Like you've never knew that" I said as I laid my head on the pillow

She turned to look at me, "no I know, but you've never knew how you make me feel" she said as she moved herself to the other side of the bed

"Unfortunately I've never" I said looking at her putting her head on the pillow.

"Really?" She said shocked

I felt the tension eased up, and I can breath now. "Yeah you were always hating me, avoiding me" I said

"Avoiding you yes...but I never hated you" she said in a sad tone and I didn't like it... I don't want her to feel like that when she's around me.

"Okay not hate but like, you had this type of wall...maybe not wall but like energy that will keep me away from feeling or knowing anything about you" I said turning to her side.

"Yeah I know that, it was on purpose...I was...scared. The feelings you gave were very strong to me I couldn't handle it." She said

"Tell me more," I giggled "because I still can't believe that this is real and not just one of my dreams"

She moved close to me and hugged me, burring her face in my neck, "I don't want to tell you, I want to show you" she hugged me tight and a smile formed on my face. Did I ever dream a real dream like that...never

"I want to show you everything I feel for you but I will only say one thing over and over and a million time...I love you"


	27. Chapter 27

I grinned when I opened my eyes and saw her holding me in her arms. I put my head on her chest hearing her heart beat slowly, I wanted to stay more but I have a photoshoot in three hours and Yuri will kill me if she realized I'm not there.

I forced my self out of the bed trying to not wake her, even though I know it never works. I went to change the pajamas and wear my cloth.

"It's too early to run away from me" her raspy voice sent chills down my spine. "I mean at least let a week pass then you can run away from my horribleness"

I giggled then turned to look at her trying to sit straight, her sleepy body still not balancing herself. "I'd never run away, your horribleness...I'm into it...everything about you...I'm into it" I said then walked to her and sit on the edge of the bed. I moved my hand and held hers. "I have a shoot today that's the only reason I'm leaving you" I said

And she nodded "But...can you at least have a breakfast with me" she said

I looked at her puffy eyes, her full lips and her glowing face; I wanted to tell her that I want to have my whole life with her not only breakfast. But I couldn't let it out. "Yeah of course" I said smiling

"Okay great" she stood out of the bed "I'll wash my face and brush my teeth then I'll make a quick breakfast, till you finish dressing" she said and disappear from the room.

I took a deep breath and the smile drew itself on my face.

I tried to finish as fast as I could so I can spend more time with her.

When I walked out, She was just putting a plate on the table. "Pancakes are the fastest and I think I make them good" she said looking at me.

"You make them the best" I said sitting on the chair, she got her plate and sat on my left.

We talked and talked about nonsense things but it was the easiest and the most comfy conversations we could have. The smile didn't leave her face and I kept glancing at her. She barely ate any. Nd Before I say anything she looked down on my hand and then held it.

I smiled "you should eat" I said

"I will" she replied then moved my hand to her lips and kissed it. I tightened my grip on the eager of feelings her kiss gave me.

"You really have to go?" She whispered on my hand then kissed it again.

I turned her head to me, then kissed her on the check, "unfortunately" I said, while inches stayed between our faces "thank you for the breakfast it is really the best" I stood up and she followed me to the door while her hand still holding mine.

"What you will do today?" I asked before opening the door

"I'll go visit Hayeon" she said smiling

"Will you stay long?" I turned to her.

"Not sure" she held the door for me.

"I'll finish my work and meet you there,is it okay? I want to see her" I said, wanting to close the gap between us.

"No problem, we will wait for you" she replied and I hugged her before I leave. "Bye bye" I said walking out

"Tiffany" She called me and the way she calls my name still melts me.

"Yeah," I turned to her without thinking.

She held my hand and pulled me in then closed the door, I only felt her breath close to me and I closed my eyes unnoticeable. She smoothly moved one hand behind my neck and one around my waste then pulled me till I felt the tip of her nose on mine. With a heart beat I slightly opened my eyes and saw her lips moving close. And all the feelings I feel for her pushed my lips open to take hers. And the next second I felt my insecurities and pulled away but she pushed the back of my head to her and went for another, long, soft, sweater than heaven kiss.

She slowly pulled away then connected her eyes with mine. "Take care"

I let a slight shy laugh, before letting go of my breath, "You too" I said showing my blush.

She kissed the tip of my nose before letting me off.

I drove all the way to Yuri with a smile, she didn't say a thing but I could see her glancing at me from time to time. I changed and prepared myself for the shoot with the feeling of her lips on mine still existing. We went to the shoot while I was half day dreaming and deaf. I don't know what's happening around me, I don't know what people are talking to me about the only thing in my head is her and how much I already miss her.

"TIFFANY" Yuri shouted

"What?!" I looked at her shocked

"You've been day dreaming the whole time and I just ignored it because somehow the pictures ended up looking amazing" she said and I just smiled to her, "like what a glow you have today, you look like you were just born" she added looking at me from head to toe.

"I'm just so deeply in love...with her Yuri...like I just can't think of anything else but her" I said laying down on the chair

"Look at you" she said giggle

"She kissed me and oh my I feel like I want to kiss her 24 hour on 7, I grave her touch and the way she kiss my hand, the chills of her presence beside me is a feeling I've never felt" I said

She smirked, then moved closer to me "I'm so happy for you but she should be carful because I'm watching her now" she said and I laughed.

After the shoot, I immediately drove to her. I walked in the garden and saw Taeyeon standing infront of Hayeon grave.

"Hey" I said and she turned to me, I walked closer to her and she put her hand around my waste and gave me a half hug, then looked at me, I couldn't hold myself and gave her a small peck on her lips.

She gazed at me "Only?!" She said moving her head closer, I forced myself to put the tips of my fingers on her lips

"Hayeon is watching," I said and she laughed.

"She wanted us to be like this" she turned to her sister grave "In love" she added. Then She looked at me "I want to show her how much I love you because she always wished for me to admit it but I never did till she no longer with us"

I kneeled down to her grave and put my hand on the grass above it, "remember when I told you I love her? I really do" I said

She kneeled beside me, and she put her hand beside mine, "remember when you told me that I love her and I said I don't? I lied because I really do" she said

I turned to her "now you are just copying me"

"No I'm saying what's in my head" she said smiling and I shock my head giggling.

"I really miss you" I told Hayeon "I wish you were here with us but...you fought and stayed strong for both of us. You made us meet and fall in love, so now it's time for you to rest"

"And forget about us for a while, we troubled you a lot" she added to what I said "but only awhile" she said smiling

"You troubled her" I said and she looked at me surprised "You didn't want to admit that you like me, I admitted that since the second your eyes met mine" I told her

And she went laughing out loud.

"But I did at the end," she replied

"Yeah after, I died a million time" I said

We stayed there till dawn, talking and laughing with My little baby, then we decided to go.

"Will you come back with me?" She said as we walked holding hands to my car.

"Yuri is waiting for me" I said hating that I can't

"Just today..."she said in a soft voice

"Why don't you come with me" I asked her

She looked down letting out a small giggle "I'm not sure I want to meet Yuri today, she will hold me by the neck"

I hit her arm "why would she?!"

She kept her head down, "She will be like it took you forever, and I hurt you a lot" she said

I laughed "At least you know"

She looked at me with a smile

"Promise I'll be infront of your door tomorrow early very early morning" I said

And she nodded looking away from my eyes

I bit myself lip hating to see her like that, I moved my hand to her and turned her head to me then immediately kissed her very deeply and didn't let go till I felt her lips moving with mine.

I whispered "promise"

She moved for another kiss, then said "Deal"

I smiled looking at her still eyeing my lips. Then let a laugh out when she said "You think Hayeon is still watching?"

"She will forever watch" I said

She giggled "Well that's a problem because right now...I just want to kiss you more"


	28. Chapter 28

I was infront of her door the very early morning; just like I promised her.

I ringed the bill couple of times, before the love of my life opened the door with a big smile. "Hi..." she looked at me, with spark in her eyes "Hi to the person who made me addicted and attached, hi to the person who I love crazily and who is worth the universe and beyond" she said

And I walked softly close to her with a smirk that I cannot hide.

She put her arm around my waste , and I could get used to being held like this between her arms.

"Morning" She said before she moved in for a sensational kiss...do I want it? Deeply yes, do I need to back off? Yes... I pushed my body senselessly for a deeper hold of her lips before pulling back and saying "Yuri is behind me"

She froze in her place, I wiped the corner of my lips, while letting go a giggle over her reaction.

Yuri coughed before walking in "You can continue" she said

Taeyeon stayed still "Hi" she barley let out a voice

Yuri nodded with a smile "Hi...all good?" She asked her

"Yeah all fine" she looked at Yuri walking in and then she turned to me with her worried eyes

"She is just playing with you" I whispered then stole a peck of her lips before following Yuri.

She closed the door and walked towards us, then sit on the other sofa beside Yuri.

My friend my manager looked at her and said "You are not dating me you are dating her, you should sit beside her not here" she said and I couldn't hold my giggle.

Taeyeon stood up "I deserve that" she walked her way to my side and sat "I just didn't want to disrespect your presence" My girl said

"If you showed me that you love her the way she deserves to be loved then you will never disrespect me" Yuri said

Taeyeon looked down and nodded. Again I couldn't handle seeing her like that, even if she knows she deserves it. I looked at Yuri and shock my head, she shrugged.

Taeyeon stood up "I'll get us something to drink" she walked to the kitchen and Yuri followed her.

I took couple of steps just to hear what she will say.

"Hey I really don't mean anything by what I said, you know I just want to make sure she will not get hurt again" Yuri walked to her side,

She turned to her "don't worry, I know"

"You might know What happened to her but I saw what she went through, she went through..."

She interrupted her "I love her" Taeyeon said putting the juice down, "I really do...but what she went through is in the past now is all about what will happen and what will be done to not let her go through all that again...if we will keep bringing that past over and over again it will only be painful not for us but for her. I'm me and someone else is their self. I loved her without knowing what she went through and I loved her without knowing what she have done and what she haven't...I loved her because of her and I'll keep that the same way. I know I didn't say it when I first felt it but I felt it the moment my eyes saw her walking in for that perfume shoot. I saw here before she saw me and I fell in love with her ever since" she said then poured the juice in glasses

Yuri took a moment before nodding her head, "Good, that's all I wanted to hear"

Taeyeon smiled and gave her a glass. I ran back to my seat pretending I didn't hear anything. I sat there amazed how can someone understand someone without the need of them saying anything...I laughed when my brain made me realize she isn't any one she is the one and only.

"Why you laughing alone?!" Taeyeon said looking at me

"That what they mean when they say someone is crazy in love" Yuri sat back on her seat

Taeyeon rubbed the back of her head while smiling at me.

We drank our drinks and we chatted for a while before Yuri turn her phone and said "Isn't this you?"

I looked at the picture "Oh my god" I said and turned to her "This was yesterday when you were visiting Hayeon" I said

"You were there as well?!" Yuri asked me

"Yeah...I saw them taking couple of pictures but then I paid them to go before you come and they see you as well" Taeyeon said

"Damn" I said putting my head back

"This will happen, and you will need to be prepared for it in the way you two want to" Yuri said looking at Taeyeon

She looked at me "I will say and do whatever you want...whichever will make you comfortable, I will do it" she told me

And the old memories hit me...the way I was and the way people reacted to my first open love. I went through the whole position I was in before holding my breath, closed my eyes and pictured the world we will be in...

"Babe..."

I opened my eyes and saw her looking at me, I eased up and relaxed under her gaze and her voice.

"I don't care what people will talk about or ask, we don't even need to say anything we can just keep living our lives without caring about anything, they want to talk they can talk, they want to take pictures they can, they want to ask they can ask, they can stand on a point but for us we will put the pen and draw our life." She held my hand

"Sooner or later, the paparazzi will take photo of you two together, what you will do then?" Yuri asked her

"So be it, we don't owe anybody anything. when you feel like you want to say something, go and say it. If you don't want to speak about you can just live your whole life the way you want to...it doesn't matter" Taeyeon told me

I nodded then my body desirably hugged her, she wrapped her arms around me and whispered so gently "I love you, and nothing else matters"

Me and my girl walked Yuri to the door to say bye to her,

"Don't forget you have interview tomorrow" she said as she opened the door

"Roger That" I replied

She giggled "have a great day girls," she walked out then turned again. "Taeyeon" she called her

She took her eyes off of me then looked at Yuri "Yeah" she innocently replied

"After tomorrow is Christmas Eve so don't think I'll keep Tiffany with you,"

Taeyeon laughed then nodded

"You want her; you can come to our house we will celebrate all of us together" Yuri invites her "And I will not hold you by the neck"

Taeyeon looked at me before giggling, "Sure will"

Yuri left and it's me and her now. I walked back to the living room "where are the boys anyway?" I asked

"Kurt is stay with Jo for the holiday and to prepare for the weeding as well" she said as she walked to me.

"My god I totally forgot the wedding" I said "we need to prepare for that as well"

"We?"

I turned to her "You will not come with me?" And said in a hurt tone

"Will you go as my partner?!" She asked

I held her shirt and pulled her closer

"Aren't you my partner?" I asked

"Am I?"

Pushed her away "Why you keep talking in question mark"

She bit her lip and smiled "Stay closer it's cold in here" she replied and pulled me by the hand. I looked away from her acting like I'm sad but that's something I could never be of her...even before all this I could never be sad because of her.

"I'd go as your partner, as your girls as anything you want me to be...I'll be" She said and she moved her head infront of mine and caught me smiling like a fool.

She smirked then hugged and lift me up from my waist.

"Oh my god" I reacted to what just happened.

"I love you" she whispered in my ear,

I looked at her,

"I don't want to over say it and lose its meaning but I want you to know that I really love you, sometimes it's just hard to express how I'm feeling but through those words even though they may not be enough" she said and I covered my blushed face in her neck

"God I can take over the world with you like right now" she said and I hid my face even more.

"What do you want to do? Do you want to go for dinner or go watch a movie?" She asked me,

"I prefer staying her in your arm...that's the safest place for me on earth" I said and saw her blushing into a smile.

We sat down on the sofa cuddling under the blanket while watching some show on the TV. She put her head on my shoulders, and I held her hand; it was so comfortable to the point that my eyes started closing

"You sleepy" She asked and kissed my neck

"Little it's very cozy here I like it" nuzzled her

"And I like you" she whispered as she continued kissing my neck

Her lips were cold and wet and with every kiss she sends chills down my spine. She was turning me on and I'm too shy to act upon what I'm feeling, so I felt my body freezings on her kisses.

She stopped then put her head back looking at me "did I go too far?" She said

And I looked at her surprised "No"

"It's just that I felt you turning to a stone" she said "thought went far and I don't want to do that"

If I don't act upon my feelings with her then we will take a step back in all that I want. I moved myself and sat on her lap, legs on both of her sides, my face infront of hers, "You didn't take it far, it's just that I don't know what to do" I told her as I put my hands on her stomach and moved for a kiss.

Her face lightened up and she smiled at me. I hugged her so tight and she put her arms around me.

She put me down on the sofa, while she came above me. I'm not able to hide my face anywhere as hers was right infront of mine so I held her shirt and pushed her down on me and hid my face in her neck.

"I don't want you to feel obligated to do anything, I just want to be close to you like that feel you between my arms and hear you breathing that's all I want" She cupped my face with her hands and kissed the tip of my nose before she put her body beside me and covered us with the blanket.

I felt her warmth through all the night, before I close my eyes and after I opened them early morning.


	29. Chapter 29

I dressed and prepared to go to that interview, which I know they might ask anything and try to get the most out of me. I wanted her to be with me in that interview but I know that just because she's my everything doesn't mean she will always have to be with me in everything, unfortunately this is not how the world spins.

I sat in the makeup room while breathing in and out trying to relax; I wonder when the time will come where I don't have anxiety over these interviews and tv shows.

Suddenly my phone rang, and a smile took over my face, I eased up and answered with a full breath

Tiffany: Hi

Taeyeon: Hi babe

My face turned red and the makeup artist looked at me with a smile, I couldn't hide my face

Taeyeon: What are you doing now

Tiffany: makeup room, getting ready

Taeyeon: I bet you look stunning right now

Tiffany: *whispered* stop you are making me blush

Taeyeon: really...?! you know I can't help myself

Tiffany: Mmmm

I couldn't speak or breath

Taeyeon: I just thought of calling you because I know you are probably stressing, it will go good. I know you can do it and if they asked anything you don't want to answer then tell them before ahead your type of question you want to be asked.

Tiffany: yeah I was planning to put my conditions, don't worry I'm just glad you called hearing your voice ease me up

Taeyeon: i don't have any work today so I'll be watching you beautiful

Tiffany: that will make me happy knowing that you are watching.

Taeyeon: take care of yourself and don't pressure yourself... enjoy it.

Tiffany: I will, now I have to go they are almost starting.

Taeyeon: okay babe, I love you.

Tiffany: *I bit my lip* I love you more

Taeyeon: Bye bye

I waited till she hang up, and then put my phone down smiling on how strong my feelings are right now

"Boyfriend?!" The makeup artist asked and I looked at her surprised, taken back by her question

"Sorry don't mean anything, you just look super happy. Your face shined made my makeup look better" she said smiling

I shook my head, smiling back "No problem," I looked at my phone "Something like that you can say" I said then stood up for them to walk me to the stage

And before I walk in, They came to ask about the question as I was expecting,

"Which are the lines of questions that we can't cross?!" The guy with head phone and IPad in his hand asked

I took a moment the said "No line they can ask whatever they want to ask no problem with me"

He looked at me surprised "are you sure?"

I nodded, then he said "okay then I will need you to sign here just to make sure"

No problem I took the pen and signed then they walked me in,

"And look who's here" Dana the First MC said

"Oh my god look how gorgeous she is" Jully the second MC Said as she gave me a hug and Dana did the same when I walked to her

"How are you?" Dana said pointing for me to sit on the sofa beside her

"Good very good, how are you?" I said taking my seat

"We are good now after seeing you"Jully said

"This is the first time for you to be on our show right?" Dana asked

"Yeah, I'm very honored" I replied

"How's life how's everything with you? You always look beautiful but oh my god now you are more and more beautiful, what's happening girl gave us your tips" Jully said and I laughed thinking of Taeyeon...I wanted to say she is the reason, she is why everything in me beautiful but I just laughed it off

"Everything is going good, I'm just living life that's my tip" I giggled and they both smirked

"We will get back to that but First tell us about all those beautiful photoshoot like wow" Dana said and then they showed some of my news photoshoot and as the pictures passed my photoshoot with Taeyeon came up. And my face blushed all over, I had to hide it from the camera. When all the photos passed; I looked at the two MCs and they had some type of smile, a smile that says they know the answers of everything we will ask.

"That's all thanks to god and some luck that I suddenly got" I said giggling

"No I think all that because of how amazing you are, you are hard working and passionate, you deserve all of it" Jully said

"Thank you so much" I replied

"So you know to which photoshoot we will go, I mean this photoshoot took over the world" Jully said and I smiled hiding my panicking, I looked to the screen infront of me and it's our first kiss,

I giggled and covered my face putting my anxiety as a joke to hide

"You need to tell us something about this, it went viral and people can't stop talking about it" Dana said in excitement

"We heard that you were the one who went for it is that right?" jully added

"Really there's nothing more to it then that" I said pointing at the picture "It was all the feelings of that exact moment, It was super cold and the warmth took over me and I went for it," I said simplifying everything

"Honestly if it was me I would've done the same, I mean look at the weather and the whole esthetic of it all...if that kiss didn't happen then I think there won't be any point of all that, no offense to the cameraman or the people who planned the concept of this photoshoot but I think this kiss perfected it" Jully said and I nodded agreeing with her

"That's so true jully, I think this kiss took it to the maximum level perfection, you and Taeyeon did a magnificent job, honestly salut for that " Dana said

I smiled "Thank you so much"

"Talking about Taeyeon, this is the second work you guys did together right" Dana continued

And the subject of her is just making me more nervous yet put smile on my face,

"No I think this is the third one, because you two did running man together as well" jully corrected

I nodded "true, third work"

"Right, the first one was kind of, I don't know if I'll be using the right word but it was erotic, passion it, sexy like it will put you in your feelings" Dana said

I continued nodding giving them the space to talk

"This was your first ever work together, what was your thoughts and feelings to have the first work with this beautiful lady and to be it like that... you two were naked" Jully said giggling

I took a deep breath inside and talked "Oh you can't even imagine" I said giggling "Firstly i was taken back, like I will be naked with this stunning woman and I can't tell you it was just a nerve wrecking at the beginning but then Taeyeon made it way easy on me" I said

"Really?!" Jully said

Followed by Dana "Oh wow!"

"She is easygoing, very caring. She will ask and take permission before doing anything and then check if that is comfortable, if I'm comfortable doing this or that...she is just a gentlewoman, the gentlest" I said

"I agree with that" jully said and I looked at her, that was super fast way to answer "she is gentle in her nature, so no wonder she was with you as well. She makes things go easier than usual" jully added

And I switched in my seat, I felt jealousy for some reason and irritated. Maintain it Tiffany your girl is just a gentlewoman

"It's nice to work with someone like that it, she must've made really made you feel comfortable because the photos have natural outcome from it" Dana said

I smiled "she did"

"So how was your first impression? How did you two meet" Jully asked as she was looking at the papers in her hand

"It was coincidence actually" I said

"Really?!" Dana interrupted me

"Yeah, I was going to the photoshoot thinking that I will be the only model, I was siting there then between all the crowds there, my eyes met hers and she captured me" I said and then realized I took it too far but my inside just wanted to be possessive, she is mine and only mine. I'm not like this but I couldn't hold it...I want to shout it out loud.

"We just had a connection and became friends super fast, we understood each other and knew what we have to do. We are meant to be friends" I covered it up, or that's what I thought I did.

"That's so sweet" Jully said Uwu at me

"I think your friendship will last long" Dana said and I smiled

"Thank you"

"We are coming to an end, but we have one last question that the audience gave us" Dana said, reading from the paper "Are you currently dating someone?" She asked

And without hesitation I said "Yes I am" and I can see Yuri eyes widening at me. She said i can say what I want to say and I want to say that I am

"Oh my god...we have an exclusive news guys" Jully

"Wow I wasn't expecting this answer" Dana said surprised "Tiffany Young have a boyfriend, Will we be lucky to know who he is?"

I giggled "Maybe soon but not now" I winked to the camera knowing that Taeyeon is watching.

"Hopefully soon" Jully said

"Ohh that explains the glow" Dana said "It's love" she added and I giggled

"We wish you all the best in your life, your job and with your mysterious someone" Jully said winking to me

I smiled then they stopped recording,

"Oh my god who is he?" Dana asked immediately after taking the mic off

"I can't tell if there's no agreement from Both side right?" I said "I already took a step with discussing about it both of us"

"That's true" Jully said "but thank you so much for that"

"It's my pleasure" I said and they both hugged me.

"You are crazy" Yuri said as we walked out "wow super crazy, my god"

"I know I know, I just couldn't hold myself. I don't know what happened to me" I said looking at her

"Now we need to get you bodyguard, because paparazzi will not leave you alone" Yuri said

"I know but it's all worth it"


	30. Chapter 30

When we went back home, I saw Taeyeon standing infront of my apartment door.

"meant to be friends huh?" She said from far away giggling

"I had to" I said with smile

"Hey Taeyeon" Yuri said as she gave her a hug then opened the door for her,

She waited till Yuri got in and then she held my arm and pulled me to her "you are crazier than I thought you will be," She said as she hugged me tight "god how brave you were there you killed it" I wrapped my arms around her and wanted to cry because of all the stress I went through, I needed her here and she is here without me telling her to be.

The apartment door opened and Yuri popped her head out "Someone went crazy in that interview, so you two better be careful and be lovey dovey inside unless you wanna deal with all that suddenly on the news" she said and I laughed then held Taeyeon's hand and walked her in.

She walked closer to me from behind and whispered in my ear "By the way, I saw your jealous eyes" she said and I turned to her surprised

She closed the door behind her, then moved closer to my face, "I've never worked with Jully before and I've never met her. So your eyes shouldn't worry because I'm only yours" she said then held my chin and pulled my face for a kiss,

"You are so beautiful" she said and my eyes were still closed

"Sorry I just felt so possessive, I don't know why...it just hit me like that I felt jealous for no reason I couldn't hold it in any way" I said then opened my eyes to see her

"And I loved it, I want that. I felt so alive when I saw your eyes wanting to say I'm yours, I shouted, I shouted very loud like crazy in the house" she put her hands on both side of my face "You have no idea how crazy I am about you"

I pushed my body into hers and hugged her, I didn't know what I can say, I forgot everything wrong with me when i hugged her in my arms it's like I'm starting a new life every time I hug her.

"Are you to going to stay infront of the door forever, and god stop hugging you were just like away from each other for an hour or so not years" Yuri walked passed us, "my god" she added as continued walking

Taeyeon smiled and let go of me,

"I feel like going out for the new year eve, what do you think Tiffany?" Yuri said passing me a drink.

"I would love to, last new year eve i was at home" I said taking my drink

"What about you Taeyeon?" Yuri asked, giving her a glass

"Thank you," Taeyeon rejected the drink "I don't drink much but I'd love to go out for the new year"

"Oh good for you girl" Yuri poured the drink inside her glass

"Jo told me he's going to one party with Kurt, he told us to come should we go?" I said and they both agreed.

We finished our drinks, then Yuri went to dress, I held Taeyeon's hand and pulled her with me to my room.

"Do we really have to go?!" She said closing the door behind her.

"Why? You don't want to go?" I asked as I made my way to my dresser

"It's not that I don't want, it's just that it's new year eve and I'd like to be beside you and not act like I don't know you." She said and I looked at her,

"I mean you know how many people out there will be? Like everyone nobody's at home" she said

"No" I walked to her "you don't have to act like you don't know me, hold me, hug me, dance with me...kiss me when the clock hits 12 I don't care" I pulled her from her shirt, "It will be only me and you and the rest are just empty souls around us" I said holding her chin then kissed her.

As we walked In to the party, even when the light was dim a lot of heads turned towards us and I kind of panicked, I turned to Taeyeon and she smiled to me with a head nod as if she told me to do whatever I want.

I stayed quiet with myself for a while before the panic took over and I took a step away from her...do I hate myself for doing this? Yes, but I didn't have much control over me.

It took only couple of second before some celebrities came and took her away to party. I saw her walking away as her eyes still holding mine.

I felt hands around me and when I looked it was Jo who said

"You came?!"

"Yeah Yuri wanted to change a mood for this new year" I said hugging him

"Come come lets get a drink" Jo pulled me to the bar, and I just walked with him.

I was sipping on my drink as I saw Kurt and Taeyeon coming towards us.

"Man if we let this girl go they will steal her easily" he said taking a seat beside me,

"Come on, it's not like that" Taeyeon told him as she looked at me, I wanted her to sit beside me but I was too scared of the people around us. She smiled again and sat beside Kurt.

"Okay they took my man, are you two serious?!" Jo joked looking at us beside Kurt

Kurt put his arms around us "It's my night man" he giggled and Jo shock his head before sitting beside me.

"So what's your plan for this year?" Jo asked Me

I looked at him "Stay alive" I said and heard Taeyeon giggling, she knew I was copying her. I smiled like crazy for her,

"You two plan is definitely to get married, I'm not even going to ask" Taeyeon said as she drank her club soda

"True, that's all we want for this year" Kurt said

"I also want babies but we will leave this to the next year" Jo said and I looked at him surprised

"You want Babies?" I asked and he nodded smiling, "You used to say you will never have any" I said laughing

"Used to, after meeting this guy I want them now" he said and gave a gaze to Kurt which made me want the love they have.

A notification popped on my phone, I opened it and it was Taeyeon

-I love you.

The message said and a smiling took over my face and I blushed all over.

I looked at her and her head was down with a smile. She brought all the butterflies to my stomach like I was 12 year old.

I felt like writing I love you too wouldn't show how much I truly love her, so my body gained the confidence and stood up, "excuse us" I said taking Taeyeon's hand and pulled her up to go with me.

"Ay where you two going, it's almost 12" Jo said

"We are here to dance not sit" I took her with me and she just walked.

We went to the dance floor and I put my hands around her,

"It's very hard for me to describe in words how much I love you" I said as I held her stronger,

"But there's people," she whispered as she slowly put her hands around me

"Hug me Tight and Squeeze me, I'm so in love with you to the point my hear forgot that it's beating"

"Babe are you sure" she asked as I felt her heart beating closer to mine

"If I'm not with you, I don't want to exist

And if I can't be with you, then now I want to die" I said And she put her head down on my shoulder.

"Look me in my eyes, see how much my heart longs for you" I said and pulled her head up to me "You are with me, in front of me, between my arms" I said and saw shining star in her eyes.

"I am yours in front of everyone" I whispered against her lips and gently went in to lock them with mine...nothing mattered, I wasn't scared if someone was watching, I didn't care if someone was taking pictures...everything didn't matter any more.

Our lips held each other as we heard people around us count down the clock and for every second we held each other stronger. For every second our lips didn't let go.

As they all shouted for the new year and celebrated, we broke the kiss and looked at each other,

"Happy new year" she said and I smiled with my head against hers

"Take me, I want to be yours and you are mine in every way" I said as I put my hands on her back pushing her closer,

"I will take you everywhere anywhere," she said and took me outside the party

We left the party like souls in love, she drove me and I couldn't remove my eyes off her, and couldn't hold myself from her hand touch on my leg. She took me somewhere I've never been, and as she parked she looked at me and said,

"I bought this house new, since I have you in my life I want us to have everything new away from everyone's eyes" she waited for my reply but I couldn't speak in that moment...god how lucky I am in this life now, I'm over the roof in love with her and can't keep it quiet

"I love you" She said spontaneously "I'm so in love with you" She jumped for a kiss and I took it all in.

We moved the kiss to inside the house as we couldn't hold it, I heard the door locking it self, while I started taking off her clothes with my eyes closed and my lips stolen by hers. I felt her hands on the back of my neck pulling my lips closer to her, closer into hers more than they already are. She walked me while her lips moved to my neck making me let a hard breath out. She zipped off my dress and I could feel her cold fingers tips on my back.

We felt nothing around us but falling on the cold bed that soon will be warm because of us. She's on top of me, and I moved to remove all her clothes while was reaching back to catch my lips. My mind was going blank coming back to me and as I struggled to remove her bra she giggled in the kiss and broke it to look at me

"I can help with that" she said as she reached to unlock her bra.

I covered my eyes, shy of how I couldn't do the small things,

She removed my hands, and I looked at her eyes; the giggling left and the desire look was back on. Her hands on the both sides of my head, her head in front of mine,

"Don't be shy, it's okay bras are hard to remove" she said with a smirk,

I couldn't hold myself and looked on her body above me...her body never looked the same before, now everything I wanted to see is there, fully naked and above me, I don't want to wake up of this.

I put my arms around me and pushed her on me, while I stole her lips this time. I don't want only her lips I want her all. I turned her to the side and got above her, she pulled herself up to catch my lips again but I pushed her down and saw her smile at me...but I want her so bad, I remove my own bra super easily and threw it away, I saw her eyes following every inch of me and she rose up again, and started kissing my neck then down to my collarbone, I felt her tongue over me and on the warmth of it I moaned and she kept going down while I let out loud more and more. I put my arms around her head as I pushed myself closer to her.

She looked up at me while, and moved her hand to my neck, "you are so beautiful" she heavily breathed as she kissed me, she let go of my lips and said "I love you" with a breathy, soft whisper. She licked her lips as I felt her hands going down, way down where I wanted her to touch since the day I saw her. She went farther in as her lips kept stealing mine, "Babe" she said as I arched my back and rose up for her, "I don't want tomorrow..." she breathed as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her in as her hand movements fastened "I want today to be every second of our life" she laid my body down and pushed against me.

"I want you... in every second...of my life" and that was the last sentenced said before time passed our breaths and took over our bodies.

I woke up with my body feeling light like a feather, I felt the warmth of our bodies and the coldness of the room. I moved my hand and held hers like I memorized the last placement her hand was.

I turned to her and put her arm back on my waist.

God how I'm close to her at this moment, she's next to me and she's so deep a sleep, I feel her skin on mine and there's no better place I want to be she makes me realize many things; she took me into love, she stole me into dreams. I became her love and she melted me, she's a sun that melted my ice, she's a new love, she's my new life. Her heart became a warm home to me, her love took me and made me fly from all that I have. Her love sees my heart, with a word of hers I forget all my worries, if I could I'll give her all the stars in the sky, if I can I'll give her my soul. I can draw the most beautiful art piece with her words.


End file.
